Keep the sandwich sacred.

A while back, my daughter asked for a sandwich. I asked if she wanted ham or turkey. She insisted that she only wanted lettuce and tomato. This is an abomination. A meatless sandwich cannot be a real sandwich. If I allow that, what's to stop people from combining all manner of vegetables in between two slices of bread? If we allow this to exist, you may one day find a meatless sandwich on a restaurant menu. That's why I propose a constitutional amendment defining a sandwich as only "meat between two slices of bread". My meat sandwich won't mean anything and won't be near as delicious unless we impose these strict guidelines on how to construct a "real" sandwich.

It's called: BLT, not LT