I'm a downer.

So a friend from back home texted me today that an old roommate of mine has been asking her out on a date and what I thought of him. I replied “He used to fucking himself nightly with a rubber vagina while I slept when we shared a room together in college”. I think I ruined her night.

True story though.

P.S. I eventually demanded a new roommate. I got the pothead. Much more peaceful.