God Chips

We've all played Sim City, right? Did you ever get really bored, and force disasters to occur? Fire! Flood! Tornado! Heck, you could even summon a giant lizard to do some stompin'. I think that might be what God is up to this year. He probably initially thought that long term problems like global warming and nuclear proliferation, or even rogue comets and asteroids, would provide him with some entertainment, but the fact is that the wait is getting to him. He's shaking the etch-a-sketch, so to speak. Shaking the ant farm. Peeing in the sea monkeys. You know what I mean. Focusing the magnifying glass on us in the hot sun. Rolling up the big free copy of Men's Journal he found in the Giant Motel Six In The Sky and giving us all a good whack. You know. He's jockin' us. We're the hamster and he's the firecracker suppository. We're Mikey and he's poprocks and soda. 'VOLCANO-NADO-QUAKE-NAMI'! Is something he's contemplating inventing. Just to F with us. Maybe tomorrow he'll yawn, stretch, and mutter to himself - "Alright. Let's just give North Korea a Voltron and see what happens. One of those giant robots the Japanese are so fond of making cartoons about. Let's just give North Korea a friggin' Voltron and I'll sit back with some God Chips and watch the wackiness unfold. (muttering even more quietly) Why do I preface every food I eat with my own name? And why do I bother eating? Ugh, the mysteries of life. People have it easy."