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Wet ass from the automatic flusher...

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SoupNazzi

Now I realize that due to idiot's who don't have the courtesy to flush their own shit down the toilet that office's such as mine go to the trouble to install these magical shitter's, but come on... Make sure the damn thing flushes at the right time.

I'm ready to kill a good 15 minutes or so, so I go to ESPN.com and print out a few articles for my reading pleasure. Well... to my dismay, four minutes into my dump, the son of a bitch flushes.

This isn't any normal flush, this is the type of flush that is used to eradicate the most Hiroshimatic shits of all time. As I'm nearly sucked down the bowels of downtown Dallas, my ass and balls get soaked as there is water flying out from between my legs.

I have no where to run to and there's not much I can do other than take my ass on a white water rafting trip of the 4th floor stall.

So after riding the rapids of the shitter, I'm completely furious and not even completely done dumping. I drop off one more turd, wipe my ass, then start balling up huge wads of toilet paper to start drying my ass from the trip it just went on.

I finally finish drying up my balls and ass and stand up to leave the bathroom and sure enough the lone turd is still sitting at the bottom of the toilet unable to be flushed.

Once again my office has failed in even being able to flush shit down the toilet.

Comments (5)

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Falelorn·
you have many issues in your private time dont you? lol
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GroovyElm·
Holy crap, I have tears in my eyes from laughter. Riding the rapids, great stuff.
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CreeperJR·
That's why I always take a post-it to the john. Cover that sensor up and relax.
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GrandmaGamer·
I hate those things, they've installed them at our office too. It seems to really freak out when you wear black. Flushes evertime you take a dang breath!
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OldManRiver48·
Did the \"ass gasket\" get stuck to your butt from all the water?\r OucH that could be painful!\r Or do you just use those as \"disposable cowboy hats\"? :)