Today.

They are having the funeral.  Right now.  I'm at work, trying to keep my mind busy, but it's not working.  He's gone, his suffering is over.  I feel so fucking selfish sitting here feeling sorry for myself.  Then "I Will Always Love You" by The Cure comes on the radio and I really want to throw things.  I know in my head that she doesn't love me anymore.  I know she loves herself more than the boy and I.  I know in my head that she'll probably never be close to me again.  I know in my head that it takes time to get over this stuff.  I know that being at her father's funeral and not being part of that family is saving me for almost unbearable hurt when I leave to come home.  I know in my head that her new friend will be next to her with his children in tow, looking like her new family and I will have to stand by and watch.  In my head I know all these things.

My heart doesn't give a shit, it still hurts and makes me miserable.

I hate the fucking Cure.

Ain't nothin' to a G.