The wires that bind.

Sitting in the soft glow of my monitor, controller in hand, the house is still. It’s magic time. The one time of the day, which I as a house husband selfishly claim as my own. There’s no thought of meal plans and bills to be paid. It’s time to frag and nothing should be able to come between this sacred hour and its appointed goals.

Yet my mood is dour and sullen. A mocking upon our message boards is resonating in the back of my mind that if truth should be told, shouldn’t bother me in the least. I mean these people who are misunderstanding and or simply trashing my words on a gaming forum are nothing more than faceless names hundreds of miles away hiding behind the same anonymous artificial glow I was currently struggling to enjoy. Yet something inside me knows better than that. These responses are from people just like me. Came to this website to meet likeminded gamers to game with, and something has severely been lost in the translation. We’re at each other’s throats over the smallest of things, and I for the life of me cannot understand at least in my case what I did that was so bad to deserve this level of relentless stalking/abuse.

It’s a funny thing, a man’s ego. It allows an otherwise confident and secure person to lose all perspective when challenged. Forces him to respond to things that are well beneath his concern with the same vitriol he would normally reserve for the likes of a home intruder. Being someone who prides themselves on being above such things it’s more than a little unnerving to see one’s self manipulated and agitated in such a casual if not an almost dismissive way. Yet, I have to respond. I feel a pull to stand my ground and say my peace. Sad, but true….but if I know that nothing I say or do will ever be good enough to sate this vendetta, why bother responding at all? Why not just ignore the Trolls and continue to try and connect with remaining like-minded individuals within the confines of this one of the last bastions of hope for the older gamers.

I think the answer lies in the hobby itself. Gaming is in its very core is often a very solitary hobby. Most of us are older gamers who were gaming long before it was cool. Well before it was featured on television and long before scantily clad women would ever grace the stage to honor them let alone look at them. Gaming was something that those of us who did it, claimed only amongst ourselves. We didn’t broadcast our past time for fear of being persecuted and debased. Perhaps that’s why I’ve always felt that those of us lucky enough to connect with one another should try to stick together. If you’re sitting at home with a controller in your hand instead of at a bar with a bottle, you were my kind of guy/girl and I would love to know you. I have to admit, looking back now I am as guilty as anyone in forgetting this fact, and am trying my best to keep it in mind before responding to some very hurtful and unwarranted posts.

With the advent of the Internet, this has all changed. People who felt small and powerless in their own lives now had a safe and anonymous venue to attack without fear of retribution. To say things that they would never dare say in real life for fear of repercussion. The Internet Tough Guy was born from an amalgamation of broken dreams and lack of consequence. With the birth of this particular gamer went also the knowledge that your fellow gamers had your back and appreciated anyone out there with the same seemingly ludicrous hobby as your own. You were once again an island and could only count on the venom and undeserved rage from your fellow gaming compatriots. Isn’t that why most of us came to this site in the first place? To try and wade through the miles of garbage to meet like-minded adults to game with?

It’s a sad state of affairs my fellow too old to players, when those few choice hours of privacy and gaming can now be stolen from us by ignorance and malice. I for one am going to try and remember the wires that bind, those common ties that should bring us together rather than tear us apart. I am transcending my ego and attempting once again to put the small mindedness behind me. Hopefully I won’t be alone in this endeavor and any and all that have or had issue with me will contact me to work out our differences. Yet I ask that we speak directly via Ventrilo,Xbox live, Teamspeak etc, as the tone and intent of text can and is constantly misconstrued and misrepresented. I would wager almost anything that five minutes speaking to one another would dispel any adverse feelings one way or the other and make clear the true intention of our posts. I’m sure that I have misunderstood just as much as any and would welcome the chance to set the record straight.

Make no mistake, true gamers who simply love to play are still in the minority and as such especially in a community as small as this, we should do everything we can to try and stick together