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Stupid crackheads...

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Durty

Some of you may remember that for about a week last year I 'worked' driving this crackhead around town so he could do his tree trimming business.  Well, I couldn't stand being around someone twacked out all the time so I just didn't go back.  He never brought it out but I knew, always do...been there, done that.  Well....it turns out this guy STILL has my phone number and calls me at 2:30 this morning, letting me know he was 'partying' and wondered if I would like to come over.  I used to have a very, very bad methamphetamine habit, a $300-$450 a day habit.  I can't be around it still to this day...if it's around, it will be done.  So anyways, this dude calls me, blocks his number so I freak out thinking that something is wrong with someone in my family before I answer it...but no, just some fucking tweaker wanting to party.  I told him I was sleeping and that I wasn't interested.  But then I laid awake for nearly an hour thinking about it.  The whole, "I know I shouldn't, but would it be so bad?"  "I can just run over there, get high and come home and it will all be okay."  "I haven't been high in soooo long, one time won't hurt anything."  All that fun stuff.  Grrrrrr.  I am STILL thinking about it.  I still want it...I want to get spun so far to hell that it takes me a few days to get back.   Okay, I don't want to...but I do 'want' to.  Does that make any sense at all?  Stupid crackheads...fuck!

Comments (28)

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FaceFuMaster·
Been there myself. Be strong. I hate it when unhealthy people try to get you to \"join\" them. It's so not easy and every day is a battle. I'm going to kill something on xbox...lol\r \r Cheers,\r \r FaceFuMaster
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Baine·
Don't make us come kick your ass
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Baine·
Don't make us come kick your ass
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JUSTKILLME2·
Be strong gril \r Just remeber Your boys and you can pull thought anything \r if you every stop doing a drug do not start back up it will only be harder to stop again\r and it will never be just the one time. Block that guy out \r Good luck
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GIJoeBob·
I'm glad you posted this. All of us are here for you if you need anything.
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Rask·
What Baine said.. Twice.\r \r Seriously though. Think about it. You're out of this stuff and are now clean. \r \r You have a good job that I assume you like and a family around you. Risking all that would be monumentally not smart.\r \r
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Shuttdown·
Stay strong, going down that road will end badly. I know that getting high sounds good. But you know the toll that it takes on you and those around you. IF you didn't know that you would not have stopped. Stay positive.
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TDrag27·
I watched my sister go broke - financially, mentally, and emotionally trying to help her crackhead step-daughter and take care of her kids. \r \r If you've managed to kick it, that's awesome. Now block that asshole's number and keep yourself out of those situations.
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Durty·
Thanks guys...I appreciate the support, and when I get like this, I need all of it I can get. \r \r And while I do know how bad it is, I've OD'd twice....it doesn't help the 'need'. I have enough self control to not go looking for it...even when I know where it can be had...but at the same time, it takes every fiber of my being to keep the self control there. I just keep thinking about it.....grrrrr. It just sucks...I thought I was over this part, but I guess not. \r \r At least my boy will be here tonight to celebrate his birthday..so that will help take my mind off of it.
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Durty·
TDrag, I'm sorry to hear about your sister and niece...it's a really tough drug. :( I've been clean for 3 years...well, I back tracked one time two years ago and OD'd for the second time...but haven't done it since. I would block his number, but I don't remember it and he blocked his this morning...and I do keep myself out of those situations, because I still have a hard time dealing with them. \r \r \r \r
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Devonsangel·
One day at a time woman. Stay strong, for you and your boy! You can do this.
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revslow·
Yeah, it makes sense. I used to enjoy coke so I can't be around it today. The best way to fight temptation is to avoid the things that open the box up. One more thing......Don't make me get some girl to kick your ass!!! All kidding aside, I know you're a smart lady and will do the right thing.
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MikeTheKnife·
Crack is WACK!
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lostsupper·
Do it.
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kewljoe·
you have kids if not for you do it for them, they deserve better. Whether you go to church or not god is still around, you dont need to go spend a a lifetime in church for him to help you get through the rough times.
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Guardian·
Not really anything I can say that everyone else hasn't, but wanted to offer my support.
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DrTHE0P0LIS·
Nothing to add that hasn't been said already. If you need us, we're here for you.
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DrTHE0P0LIS·
Oh, and maybe posting some pics of tits will make you feel better. I know it will make me feel better!
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LOSTRO·
i would have called the crimestoppers( for the money) on him or the cops. lord knows what could have happened if ya went over there to a strangers place get high maybe get taken advantage of in more ways then one and regret it for rest of your life.\r \r im happy you didnt go.
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metalian·
You're way better than that shit! I lost my best friend to cocaine OD when I was 23.Walked in his house-he had a needle in his arm and asked me to push the plunger-I walked out the door and three days later he was dead. No long after-I have a walking OD,end up in county jail- never took the shit since! Be strong, Youever wanna talk................
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shred1·
Lost some good friends to Meth..It is imho, the worst.\r I don't go out looking for drugs,but I have a hard time turning them down if friends are holding.Now its just the beer and an occasional trip.Opiates,X and psychedelics are my weakness now.
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LOSTRO·
cant go wrong wit good ole natural grown weed
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XeroHour·
That's fucked up LOSTRO.... no temptation means no to anything that could lead her back to Meth.... let's just help her stay clean...ok
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Durty·
It's cool Xero...pot doesn't tempt me and make me want to do anything harder. I don't really are about it one way or the other, and I'm around it every day. :)
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RivalJJH·
You know we're all here for you. I just can't see how anyone can go through that kind of money per day for a habit. That's a hell of a thing.
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M13a77·
Durty, You and I have talked about this in the past. If you EVER need any thing or just want to talk I hope you know you can talk to me. I am sorry this is posted late but I just read it and wanted you to know you can talk to me. I have been there as you know.
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Bodaget·
12 step program, like NA or MA (meth anon) if followed, will make all temptation and \"want\" or \"need\" go away and stay away, if its followed.\r \r been there, done that, and I now help others do the same
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pyro13g·
Makes perfect sense, addiction, OCD, etc truly frigging suck.