Spooky Randoms
Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
A. Boo boos.
Q. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A. Day scare centers.
Q. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
A. Put your shocks and boos on.
Once upon a time long, long ago there was a season when neither the Packers nor the Vikings made the post season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great rivalry. So, they decided on a week long ice fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. So on a cold northern Wisconsin lake they began their contest. The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Vikings had caught 100 fish and the Packers had 0. At the end of the 2nd day the Vikings had caught 200 fish and the Packers 0. That evening the Packers coach got his team together and said, "I suspect some kind of cheating is taking place." So the next morning he dressed one of his players in purple and gold and sent him over to the Viking camp to act as a spy. At the end of the day he came back to report to the coach. The coach asked "Well, how about it, are they cheating?" "They sure are!" the player reported, "They're cutting holes in the damn ice."
Riddle time. The answers are at the bottom.
1. If a hen and a half lays an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many
eggs will six hens lay in 7 days?
2. Divide 110 into two parts so that one will be 150 percent of the other. What
are the 2 numbers?
3. One of the sentences below does not belong with the others based on a very
simple reason.Which is the odd one out?
a. Was it a bar or a bat I saw?
b. Ma is as selfless as I am.
c. No, it is open on one position.
d. Why, it seemed red, didn't it?
4. It was time to send the kids to camp, and Sally and Jim were shopping for supplies. They spent half the money they had plus $4.00 on socks for the kids; half of what was then left plus $3.00 on name tapes; and half of what was then left plus $2.00 on a small wallet for each child. They found themselves with $3.00 left over, so they treated themselves to a glass of iced tea each. How much did they start with?
Completing his examination of the uncommonly well-built, beautiful blonde, the doctor said solemnly, "You are a very sick young lady. I don't want you returning to work this afternoon. Go home, get undressed and get into bed. Drink about a third of this bottle of medicine I'm preparing for you...it will make you drowsy. I don't want you to answer your phone or let anybody into your apartment until you hear three short knocks..."
A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry. That was an insect." To which one of the boys replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
With Halloween tomorrow...
What are your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse?
http://www.justsayhi.com/bb/zombie
Prove it.
http://www.armorgames.com/games/thelaststand_popup.html
Riddle Answers.
1. 42 Eggs.
2. 66 & 44
3. #4. Each of the first three are Palindromes, reading the same forwards and
backwards
4. They started with 60.00.