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Pooping at Work

S
SoupNazzi

I hate pooping at work, but I'm not about to deny my body its basic need to rid itself of waste. I know I'm weird about pooping though so I thought I'd share.

I'm a one man show. I won't shit where someone's already shitting unless it's an absolute emergency. I work on the top floor of an 4 story building. If someone is taking a crap in our bathroom, I go down to 3 and check that one. Occupied? Rinse and repeat. I've gone as low as 2 but not the lobby. The walk back up feels much more rewarding.

I am the Clark Kent of crapping at work. If I'm taking a dump and someone who obviously doesn't follow my rule above comes in and starts crapping, I'll wait him out. He will come and go, and I may learn his identity when he leaves but he'll never learn mine unless he remembers my shoes. Oh hey Bob from accounting, nice splatter echo. Glad you could share that. Never talk to me again. I've had guys try to wait me out, but they didn't know who they were dealing with. They are clearly outmatched. I will die on that toilet if necessary. The longest I've ever had to wait is 35 minutes and there was a sports section in there to pass the time. I realize that I could possibly run into a string of several crappers in a row and spend days in the john, but I haven't had to yet.

Find a happy place. When my routine is interrupted by someone who wants to shit with me, I cover my ears when they're dropping the load and grunting. I don't want to hear that! There's this guy I work with who I swear must shit a gallon. And we must be on the same schedule because he always seems to catch me in there.

James, if you're reading this, please eat more fiber. And email me your schedule so I can adjust mine accordingly. I don't ask for much.

Comments (8)

R
Raiz3R·
I never Crap at work.... Im also Bladdder shy as well.... I cant go if somone is standing next to me at the Urinal.... Just cant do it. And ive been that way all my life. 2 Urinals away....Cool.... But not right next to me!
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darththorn·
I'm the same way about crapping at work, and I can't piss if someone is next to me either unless I've been holding it for like 2 days.
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budman24·
Dude seriously I do the exact same thing...all the things you say about crapping at work is so true. I use the same toilet all the time and if it is being used i'll go back to work and come back later....I used to be so anal about what toilet I use I work in a airport and I would walk from terminal E to terminal B to use the \"hidden\" toilet that only a couple of people knew about...it was like a sanctuary in the airport. It was a single room bathroom and it always was clean and every couple of minutes you hear a \"psst\" from the air freshner. I love that place :)
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Devonsangel·
What is this preoccupation of poop you seem to have developed recently?
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ProvingUnique·
join the courtesy flush club also!... glad my bathroom at work is a One Stall lock the door behind you, bad thing = close quarters no where for the smell to vaporize, the ceiling fan is 25 yrs old and prolly not even hooked up to a vent, and not to mention walking in before someone or after someone!
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Fetal·
woman.
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TheCrazyPerson·
Lucky for me the only person I have to share a bathroom with at work is my husband (XS Smoke) :) That's the nice thing about working for family, private bathrooms...lol :)
J
JollyRoger·
Soup, two words: Courtesy flush. :)