Out of control!

Today has been one of the strangest days I've had in a while.  I havent slept 10 hours since Friday night.  I went to work today, broke a $70 freakin tire pressure sensor, had a tire blow up in my face.  I went to a 4 hour training class tonight, so basically I put in a solid 14 hour workday.   But it doesnt matter.  What does matter, is that I'm happy. 

I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years last weekend.  This was a very hard thing to do.  I realized that I was sacrificing my happiness so she could be happy.  Thats not how a relationship is supposed to work.  Both people give and take so they are BOTH happy.  Not just one person take and one person give.

So I was listening to some jams in my truck while I was running some errands today at lunch and a particular line from a song stuck in my head...

"I can't lose now there's no game to play..."

I think its easier to stay in a bad relationship than to take what seems like a very large step and be free.  It takes a lot of strength.   It takes a lot of pain.  It takes a lot of support.  I learned that it can be done.  I also learned that it is scary.  You just have to realize that there is only 1 person you need to make happy.  That person is yourself.  How do you make someone else truly happy if you arent?  I dont think it can be done.  If you get rid of the game, you cant lose.  You just gotta take that big step and get out of the game.

I'm crashing at my parents house for the time being.  It feels like my world is just in a complete tailspin and its going to crash.  Oddly enough, I'm not scared at all.  I'm not worried.  I know that wherever I end up is where I'm supposed to be.  I think its odd to feel this way.  But I think its okay too.  I'm excited to find out what my future is going to bring.  I'm ready to face all the bad and all the good.