My Wife is Mother Theresa

She at least acts like it sometimes.

Anyways, here's the story: (And it is somewhat long)

One of my wife's former co-workers (I'll call her Tami) is a white trash whore. Co-dependent doesn't even begin to describe this woman. We took her and her children into our home about 6-8 months ago, right after she had given birth to her 3rd child. We did this because her boyfriend and father of the new child was going to school and working a full-time job so he couldn't help her and she was on the outs with her mother, so she couldn't get any help there.

Her other 2 children are both from different fathers then the 3rd one. The oldest, I'll call her Bethany, doesn't know who her father is, and he is not in their life, and rarely pays child support. The next one, Alex, well, his father is a registered Sex Offender of children. Starting to see a picture here?

Anyways, we helped them out and took care of them for a couple of weeks while Tami recovered from giving birth to child #3.

Fastforward to last night.

Tami, has bounced from 2 jobs. She has sabotaged the relationship with the Father of child #3, who, had bought a house for them and was doing everything right by taking care of her and her 3 kids. She's accused him and has had him charged with abuse and from discussions with the woman she is currently living with, it is apparent that these are false accusations.

She is living with another one of my wife's former co-workers (Christy), but one who is stable and just truly cares for the children. But....

Tami has found a new boyfriend. This boyfriend is a bit of a distance away, so when she feels the need to visit him for a booty call, she leaves the children with Christy. Well, Christy is fed up with this because Tami will sometimes stay the night at her boyfriend's and expect Christy to take care of her children on top of Christy's 3 other children. Basically, Tami is taking advantage of Christy's assistance. Tami does not have a job and so Christy and her family are basically supplementing them. Tami has also not renewed any of her medicaid or food stamps assistance so none of her children have medical insurance.

Bethany, the oldest, has missed the last 2 weeks of public school because her mom has flaked out totally.

CPS was called in by the school because Tami forgot to pick up Bethany one day at school. This in turn, drags Christy's family into a CPS (Child Protective Service) investigation since Tami is living with Christy's family.

Twisted enough yet? There's more, and I haven't even gotten to what my wife wants to do.

So, Christy lays down the law with Tami. She will no longer take care of Tami's children when Tami decides she needs to go visit her boyfriend.

What's Tami's solution?

She wakes up the children on the nights she goes to her boyfriend's and takes them with her. Then, if she decides to come back, she wakes them up again to bring them back. If she decides to stay overnight, then the oldest doesn't make it to school the next day because Tami's too tired to get up and take her.

Christy decides that that is too much and confronts Tami on this new tactic. Tami changes tactics once again.

She drops the boy, Alex off with his father (the sex offender remember?). Drops the youngest off with with the father that she accused of abuse, and leaves the oldest with Christy.

Alex's father informs Christy that he has witnessed Alex masturbating and exposing himself. Alex is 4 going on 5. Gee, I wonder who he learned that behavior from? A future Sex Offender in the making? Not if caught and treated early, but if he remains with his dad, it will almost assuredly happen.

Child #3's father, steps up to the plate. Remember, he is the one who bought a home and was going to provide stability. He picks up child #3 from day-care and discovers that child #3 doesn't have anything. Clothes, formula, nothing. So he goes out and buys 2 months worth of supplies for child #3.

Then, this past weekend, while child #3 was back with mommy (Tami), child #3 contracts a fever running over 103 degrees. What does mommy do? Nothing. Since Mommy is still staying with Christy off and on, Christy ends up caring for child #3 all weekend. On monday, Tami, drops off a sick child #3 at her father's work.

Well, dad is pissed. He takes child #3 permanently. Adds her to his insurance, and re-posesses the car that he was letting Tami use (but was in his name).

That leaves us with the oldest child, Bethany. She is such a sweet girl. She is still staying with Christy, but as I mentioned before, Christy has 3 children of her own.

Christy is to the point where she is going to boot Tami out of her house. She has to set some boundries and distance herself from the train-wreck that is Tami's life.

This is where my wife comes in.

Christy calls my wife desperate for advice. You see, before moving down here to Texas, my wife was a CPS worker up in Nebraska, so she has some knowledge of the system.

After a long discussion where this was all laid out and described to my wife, she wants to talk to me. She wants us to take Bethany into our home. Actually, she would like to take all 3 kids in, but (1) Our home isn't big enough. (2) I'm not having a child who is exposing himself and masturbating at the age of 4 around my 4 year old daughter and (3) Child #3 is being taken care of well by her father.

This is something I would be willing to do. However, there would have to be certain boundries and such established before it happened, and I would also have to go over finanaces and what not.

So a discussion ensues:

1. We would need to consult a lawyer. If we took Bethany in, I'd want her on my insurance. What would we have to do legally to make us her guardians to ensure this happens. This would cost money.

2. Are we mentally prepared to take in a child that may possibly have some mental problems due to her mother's actions?

3. How will our child respond?

4. How does it impact our budget? Right now, our budget is tight. We have a vehicle that needs to be replaced, and that means a new monthly payment. There will also be an additional cost of child care, food (minimal impact) and clothing.

I've not had a raise in over 2 years now, due to lay-offs, bankruptcies, and mergers. I'm actually making less money now then I was 2 years ago, even though on paper, I'm making more. This also impacts our debt load, as we are carrying a lot from school loans.

5. We had discussed the possibility of us becoming foster parents and even possibly Fos-adopt. I quashed that idea, as I felt I needed to get my shit together before we took a step like that. I have anxiety problems right now that I need to address (gee, I wonder if that has anything to do with the 16 lay-offs I have survived over the last 5 years?) I also need to work on my weight, as I've let it go recently and need to drop 30-40 lbs to get back to my optimal weight. This means I have to get into the habit of exercising and making the time to exercise.

So, after a lengthy discussion last night, I quashed the idea of taking Bethany in. I didn't close the door entirely, but I felt that we needed to take care of our family first before we could start taking care of others.

I will however talk to my boss about a possible raise, and my wife is talking to our Church about possible assistance from them.

It breaks her heart and mine that if we don't take Bethany in, she will move with her mom, which means she will be changing schools and will probably be in an unloving situation.

I have to remind my wife, that as much as she'd like to, she can't save every child.

Any thoughts from those of you who have read all the way to the end?

(All names have changed to protect the identities of everyone involved.  I'm not too worried, but just in case)