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My Testimony...

J
JollyRoger

    Well, some things happened over the weekend that opened my eyes to answer some questions about what is going on in my life, personally. I went to church yesterday and my Sunday School teacher's lesson came out of 1 Peter 3:1-12. The topic was about my purpose as a Christian. I know I haven't been really acting the way I should as of late and want to apologize to my God, to my fellow Christian brothers and sisters and to all of you as my friends. As a Christian, I am held accountable for my actions. Whether that be an action I have physically done, or one that has occurred through thought. God holds us accountable for our actions. As a Christian, we are held a bit more accountable, mainly because through our actions, a soul may be lost for eternity. Eternity is a long time. I want, so bad, to be able to get to heaven and see all of you there. Alas, though, I do not save people. God does. I am simply here to plant seeds and let God grow them. Megan's trials have opened eyes for people, some recognizing their own mortality. The ONLY reason I can be satisfied for her sufferings, is because I know God is at work in people. She is doing God's work. I would be selfish to want my daughter to be miraculously healed, yet a soul be lost because of it. My human side wants her to be healed, the spirit that lives within me says otherwise and Stacy and I are at peace with it. Truth be told, there were times where Stacy and I actually thought of Megan's funeral and making arrangement in our minds. Don't get me wrong, thats as far as it got, but we thought about it nonetheless. Back to the Sunday School lesson..Our Purpose. Megan is serving her purpose and serving it well. Now, my purpose. My purpose is to glorify God through my actions and thoughts. No more can I do this, than maybe to share where I came from and how I came to know the Lord.

My Testimony:

I am 32 years old, my real name is Jim, for those who didn't know and who even care. :) I was born in St. Louis, MO and grew up in Texas, spending most of my time in the greater Houston area. I grew up in a Christian home. My dad is the son of a preacher and my mom grew up in the Lutheran church. Fast forwarding a bit. I lead a pretty normal life. Not really getting into trouble. Getting by in school, with OK grades. Not really having much of a social life. Meaning, I didn't go out and party a lot. I had friends, took part in many church functions. And even came to a point where I felt the need to invite Christ into my heart. This happened around my freshman year in high school. I had not really come into my own in H.S., being the shy type, therefore became the brunt of a lot of making fun of and joke telling. When I was 13 years old, I thought I gave my heart to Christ. But, as future events will dictate, this was not the case. I continued to sin, without remorse or conviction. After graduating, I moved on into college and then this thing called the"internet" showed up which has turned in a major downfall for me. I then discovered pornography on the net. I became addicted and my life turned into one big mud hole. I found all the free stuff I wanted and was completely contempt on ignoring God. For 7 years, I got my fill of the all the internet had to offer, in the way of porn. My relationship with Stacy had begun to deteriorate and things were starting to spiral out of control. Then, things began to change. During church, our pastor would continue to ask the congregation "If you died today, on the way home from church, on the way to work tomorrow, are you 100% sure you would go to heaven? Not 98%, not 99%, not even 99.999999%. 100%." Something inside kept telling me he was talking to me, yet I would never answer. Because I thought I had gotten saved when I was a child. Finally, I could take it no longer. Having had our first child and the trials and sicknesses he went through, Stacy and I began feeling the Savior's call. A knock at the door of my heart. A conviction. After my mom had introduced us to some friends of hers, my wife first went and then called me and said "Jim, you need to come talk to Sally." Reluctantly I went. Fully prepared to tell her I was saved already and was having a tough time at the moment. Finally, we met, and the first thing she asked was "Jimmy, are you 100% sure you would go to heaven if you died on the way home from here?" I looked her square in the face, tears billowing up, and said "No, Sally, I'm not." From that point she shared the gospel with me, showing me the Roman Road to being saved. At the end of our discussion, we prayed and I asked Jesus to come into my heart, to save me from an eternity of hell and fire and separation from God. I placed my faith in Him on August 22, 2002 and have been a believer ever since. I was constantly lied to by Satan. I believed those lies for 28 years. I sinned with no remorse, or conviction until one day I finally answered the knock at my heart.

Revelations 3:20 says "20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."

I finally answered the door. Now, I am continuing to find my purpose that God has set for me. To glorify him, but how? Simple, proclaim Him from the rooftops and give thanks and praise to Him always. No one said the path of being a Christian is easy. In fact, it's rather difficult. Temptations and sin is still there, nothing I can do about that except to learn from my mistakes, and ask God to help me in not making them again. Constant trials and tests, being made perfect through the refining fires of the Spirit. God continues to refine you through fire, bringing you closer and closer to perfection. Like the worker refines gold through constant fires, bringing all the impurities and imperfections to the surface for removal, so does God remove your imperfections. Some have asked us how we have held it together through all of Megan's hardships, one simple phrase can answer them all "God has provided." When I asked for patience, God provided. When I asked for wisdom for the doctors, God provided. When I asked for healing, when Megan or any of us were sick, God provided.  I do not believe in coincidence, I believe in divine intervention. Those of you who donated to our cause, I believe it was God who tugged on your heart to help out. I pray for all of you that you be blessed more than you could ever expect, and that God would reveal Himself to you, so that He may receive all the praise, honor and glory. Believe me, this testimony is not meant to glorify me, in any way shape or form, it is meant to show that I want to fulfill my purpose and that if anyone reads this and hears that voice, feels that tug that they sit still and listen.

One thing that is quite difficult is, when I became a Christian, I was made new and that I am not to return to my old habits, which is VERY hard. What I need to do is to stay away from the things that lead me down the path to my old habits. I still game with a lot of you and have a blast doing it, but some of the things I say on the site, whether in Site Chat or in a forum, or here in a blog have been horrible and I should know better. I have said some things here that I'm ashamed of, thinking it was my one place I could hide my dirty, sinful thoughts. With that, I am removing myself from any leadership position on the site. I want everyone to know I'm not trying to isolate myself. I'm trying to distance myself from certain temptations that affect me, and me alone. I still want to play online with you all, I just have to watch myself and make sure I do not get into any circumstances that may lead me down a dark path. Believe it or not, there wasn't a lot of bad stuff happening in games. to me in particular. It mostly took place with me posting in forums. Posting something awful is easy to do, because you just post it and forget it. God doesn't forget it. Not only that, but He convicts me for it and I will revisit it on judgment day. Please, please, please understand that I am trying to help me, along with support from God. I can not do this on my own, trust me I've tried and failed miserably. I'm not leaving the site, I'm just unloading any leadership positions I have.

I have felt lead to share with you for some time now and just have been delaying it. I can't wait any more. I want you all to know what God has done for me and my family and that He can do the same for you.

Here is what the Roman Road is, and means. It is called the Roman Road due to most of the verses coming from the book of Romans in the Bible:

The ROMAN ROAD....is a pathway you can walk.


 It is a group of Bible verses from the book of Romans in the New Testament.  If you walk down this road you will end up understanding how to be saved.


Romans 3:23  "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."


We all have sin in our hearts. We all were born with sin.  


We were born under the power of sin's control.


- Admit that you are a sinner.


 


Romans 6:23a  "...The wages of sin is death..."


Sin has an ending.  It results in death.  We all face physical death, which is a result of sin.  But a worse death is spiritual death that alienates us from God, and will last for all eternity.  The Bible teaches that there is a place called the Lake of Fire where lost people will be in torment forever.   It is the place where people who are spiritually dead will remain.


- Understand that you deserve death for your sin.


 


Romans 6:23b  "...But the gift of God is eternal


life through Jesus Christ our Lord."


Salvation is a free gift from God to you!  You can't


earn this gift, but you must reach out and receive it.


- Ask God to forgive you and save you.


 


Romans 5:8,  "God demonstrates His own love for us, in


that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!"


When Jesus died on the cross He paid sin's penalty. He paid the price for all sin, and when He took all the sins of the world on Himself on the cross, He bought us out of slavery to sin and death! The only condition is that we believe in Him and what He has done for us, understanding that  we are now joined with Him, and that He is our life.  He did all this because He loved us and gave Himself for us!


- Give your life to God... His love poured out in Jesus on the cross is your only hope to have forgiveness and change.  His love bought you out of being a slave to sin.  His love is what saves you --  not religion, or church membership.  God loves you!


 


Romans 10:13  "Whoever will call on the name of the Lord  will be saved!"


- Call out to God in the name of Jesus!


 


Romans 10:9,10  "...If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting  in salvation."


- If you know that God is knocking on your heart's door,


ask Him to come into your heart.


 


Jesus said,


Revelation 3:20a "Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him..."


- Is Jesus knocking on your heart's door?



Take care and God bless you all. Thanks for taking the time to read this.


END OF LINE


JR

Comments (12)

C
CofC·
hey man, good post. I think satan has two agendas. If he can't keep us from becoming a Christian, he will try to limit our faith. Along with destracting us, I think he causes us to doubt as well. I think it is important for us to live well, but also to point out to fellow Christians we do struggle.c
D
dkhodz·
Amen. Jim, thanks for sharing and being realistic about how our actions online affect us spiritually. There are a lot of people who say that internet pornography or posting questionable material in a forum is not technically \"sinning\" but anything that comes between us and our Lord and Saviour is falling short of God's calling in our life. God doesn't say \"become a christian once and then you can do whatever you like for the rest of your life\", he calls us to a path of holiness and self-sacrifice.
J
J-Cat·
Excellent post. You know what? I think you *know* when you are sinning. It may not be written anywhere, but there is just that feeling. I think you are absolutely right, we can only ask Jesus to come into our hearts, once you do, there really is a change. I was saved in high school, when I think of Jesus, and my faith, I feel that sense of peace.\r \r Anyeay: if you want to stop posting on forums, that's cool, but PLEASE don't stop blogging. I really look forward to reading of your journey.
J
JollyRoger·
J-Cat: \"Excellent post. You know what? I think you *know* when you are sinning. It may not be written anywhere, but there is just that feeling.\" That is called conviction and it was happening to me a lot. No, I'm not gonna stop posting in forums. I just have to be careful.
G
Gatsu·
hey man. I understand where you're coming from. Its hard to know where the line is being a christian..and there are alot of things that we get involved with that aren't good.\r \r Sin is something we partake of every day, whether it be a harsh thought while you're driving to work, or cussing up a storm during a game or whatever.\r \r Hell...we are born with sin. So were are off to a bad start when we are born.
T
TexasTwister55·
God is smiling and the angels are singing.
C
CapnHun·
You know what Jolly. I admire you. It is hard enough to confess our sins and shortcomings before brothers and sisters who we know HAVE to love us (and sometimes even they forget the forgiveness part of it) but you did this site wide, not concerned about the flack you may get from those that promay not understand. You are not the only one by far who has gone through the temptation to use the supposed privacy of the internet to indulge the 'sinful nature'. I disagree with Gatsu, I think it is possible to become sin free in our lives, in fact I think it was Jesus set out to do...not just to forgive us but to make us like him and we are all at different stages. However, I think that His patience and forgivenss with us and kindness to us is winning. I think it is an amazing thing to see a 'fellowship' develop right here at this site, 'cause God knows we can't do it by ourselves and asks us to confess our sins to one another so that WE MAY BE HEALED. Isn't that something? Even with all He has given us, he still sees coming together and encouraging one another vital for our spiritual health and sees our unique attributes as important in His Kingdom. He doesn't need us for ANYTHING, yet wants us to be a part of His plan, His calling, His Kindgdom.
T
tlchristendom·
Jim,\r \r I was encouraged by your post. It takes true courage to admit one's faults, and courage abounds in you.\r \r I look upon sin as a distraction; and anything, or person that distracts me from God is my enemy. This is difficult because many times this will alienate one's friends. But, if you really think about it, true friends don't want to hurt you, they want to help you. If any person claims to be your friend but encourages self-destructive behavior, then he or she isn't really your friend.\r \r Furthermore, I identify sin with guilt. If any activity, action, word, or thought makes me fill guilty, then it is a sin. However, if I am able to perform that same activity, action, word, or thought without guilt then it is not a sin. Of course, there are those who trick themselves into believing that they don't feel any guilt for their behavior, however, they know that they still sinned.\r \r Additionally, removing yourself from a leadership position must be a tough decesion because the temptation of power is always alluring. However, it takes a true leader to be responsible enough to step aside to allow others to grow. I commend you for this, and respect your decision.\r \r Moreover, through your blogs, I have gone through alot with you, Stacy, and Megan. From this, I have gained a new sense of hope, and I have renewed my faith. Although I did not agree with your cheating post, I NEVER DOUBTED YOUR FAITH.\r \r Your site member and 2o2p friend,\r \r Christendom
R
rockcrawler69·
You amaze me, you inspire me, you guide me. Thank you so much for sharing. I pray for you and Megan every night. I am so proud to have met you. I admire what you are doing. You are a good man Jim, God is using you do to good things. I know that I speak for so many here and at Not2old2pray, we look forward to your thoughts, your posts, your sharing.\r \r God Bless\r \r Your Brother in Christ\r Nash
S
stang503421·
Great post Jolly...you hit the nail on the head and continue to inspire me in my relationship with Christ.\r \r I appreciate your forthcoming nature - it speaks to more people than you know.\r \r God Bless.\r \r Stang
A
Avril·
Praise God that you were saved Jolly, that you may share your journey with those who read your blogs. I admire your conviction. God Bless you.
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Stryker927·
I really enjoyed your post Jolly. But if I could add one little thing. Our MAIN purpose for which we were created was to have a relationship with God. If my soul purpose was just to glorify him, I would naturally fail from word go. But by living in my purpose of relationship, I get to know God, and His people. Then by knowing God, then the things fo God. Then reaching out to others, sharing his love, pouring out joy, and living a Godly life. That is what honors God. Sin will always be there, even Paul said \"I die daily\". Every day we wake up we make a choice. And through out the day making more choices when temptation arises. But I think the important thing to take from this is that if our focus is on God, knowing him, and knowing his people - then these other things begin to work themselves out. because Pr0n, drunkedness, or what have you all just serve our selves and our own fullfillment but are gone in an instand. But changing someone's life, bringing them hope, and watching God work in their life and situations brings fullfillment that can't be taken away and lasts a lifetime. :)\r \r God Bless Jim, keep up the good work! You are a great light and we are all proud of you.\r \r Your friend and brother,\r Don\r aka Stryker