My Birthday Wish

My wish having never previously been granted, I'd like to give notice of my single-item wish list.

For my birthday, I'd like a bevy of sorority-girls please. It is important, however, that said sorority-girls conform to various requirements...

* All of their skirts must be very short, and while I prefer that they all wear matching tartans, I'm not concerned with which tartan it is.

* All of their mary-janes must have at least 3-inch heels (chunky heels preferred, but I try not to be picky).

* Their blouses should be at least 2 sizes too small for their surprisingly ample chests.

* They must be sorority girls and not some skanks you met at the strip club.  (Though, if they are sorority girls paying their way through college by stripping, well then, that's just bonus.)

All my friends are hereby officially on notice that I'm tired of my simple request going repeatedly unfulfilled.