Jessica drinks, CliffyB avoids videogame onanism.

 Ya got me! Aggghhhhhhh!

One Kotaku link caught my eye: Cliffy B's brief mention of the 'game masturbation' problem. That's an instance where a video game plays for you. You've got the enemy aliens, zombies, Nazis, whatever cornered, and then they're all wiped out in a cut scene.
    I'm a huge fan of the Call of Duty series, despite its flaws and glitches here and there. But Call of Duty: World at War has one of the most egregious offenses of the 'game masturbation' type: Sgt. Resnov killing the last Nazi on the roof of the Reichstag. You fight your way through a zillion Nazis, you're going to plant the flag on the roof, and a Nazi pops out of nowhere to stab your ass. Then, you watch helplessly as Sgt. Resnov makes chopped liver out of the enemy soldier. Not my idea of a satisfying game climax; after all the CoD-type cranks that are inherent in CoD single player campaigns - the cheating AI, the ultra-accurate snipers out of nowhere, the only mostly dead enemy who gets up to stab you in the ass, and the famed Olympic grenade tossing team - it was a big letdown to have Resnov finish the game for me. As my best bud Matt64 says, "We were Bystanders to Fun™." Just sayin'.

Featured CoD Video
CoD4 FFA on Overgrown

Uploaded 17 May 2010 by StrikeLion

    Today's first CoD vid is a CoD4 Free-for-all on Overgrown where StrikeLion takes his opponents to school with the silenced AK-47 and some astute territorial domination tactics. After the CoD link jump is a great UMP montage with some akimbo action, some improbably hilarious UMP quickscopes, booty-knifings, and more. On to the CoD links:

• PRNews: GameStop offers 2-sided poster with 1st 300,000 Call of Duty: Black Ops pre-orders.
• GameRant: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 "Stimulus" DLC breaks PSN record.
• BASHandSlash: Wired UK article on modding.

The Most Powerful UMP - Part 1

 Uploaded 17 May 2010 by SixWinter

• PVGChartz: Black Ops probably including zombies.

    More Gaming Links:

• Medal of Honor previews: DigitalSpy; Hexus Gaming.
• CVG: Interview with Bungie's Brian Jarrad.
• Halo: Reach beta first impressions: Technology Online UK; The Vine AU; VGRevolution.
• MTV: EA believes a second contract with Bungie may still be possible.
• Joystiq: Team Fortress 2 + Portal gun = Team Portress. More on the Portal Gun mod for Team Fortress 2 PC.
• Kotaku: Just how fast are Steam games on the Mac?

Gears of War designer CliffyB gives you a hand!

• Kotaku: Gears of War dev CliffyB on the 'Game Masturbating' problem.
• GamaSutra: What we can glean from Lost Planet 2's chaotic multiplayer.
• Joystiq: 2K responds to Bioshock 2 'Metro' DLC complaints.
• Edge Online: Playlogic posts loss despite success of 'Fairytale Fights'.
• Escapist: Gaming industry heading for a 'collision' with aging gamers.
• Kotaku: Epic blames piracy for console-first game development. 'Course the oodles of cash from consoles have nothing to do with it.
• Spawnkill via Digg: Lamenting the loss of game manuals. If they had a full manual accessible online, it wouldn't be so bad, but often the online manual is just a copy of the crappy in-the-box manual.
• GamaSutra: Study on disabled and aging gamers and the economic impact of the loss of that clientele. FTA: "Many gamers started playing Atari in the '70s and '80s and are now 50 years and older. They may still want to be gamers, but, as they age, they may not be able to because of disability or health conditions," said Stephanie Walker, founder of AbleGamers. "They're essentially being shut out." Or, worse, being told by snot-nosed punks to "get skilz".
• IGN: Daily Fix for 17 May 2010: (YouTube version embedded below.)

Uploaded 17 May 2010 on IGNEntertainment

Can Jessica hold her liquor?

Yes, she certainly can!

    Non-Gaming Links:

• Engadget: OnStar reveals mystery partner - Google.
• Slashdot: App-store aided mobile attacks.
• Kotaku: $500 Later, We Have Another Aliens vs Predator Movie.