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Is another blog really necessary?

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PenguinMafia138

I'm not sure if I really NEED another place to log my thoughts and daily activities... being jobless means my daily activities are pretty lame and meanlingless, even to ME.


The only thing that's really going on right now is how life has changed as a result of moving into an apartment with my gf of two years. We've signed a year lease, so I'm stuck with it for now, but I have a feeling that this will probably kill this relationship. If you know who she is and play games with her on xboxlive I would appreciate it if you kept this between us. NOt that anyone will read this anyway, but whatever.


All I'm saying is that we've only been in this place for like a week, and even though I love this apartment... it's weird to feel out of place somewhere that's supposed to be "Home". I haven't felt like this since I made the mistake of moving in with my father and step mother for a few months back in 2003, and I didn't like it then either. At least feeling trapped there helped make me artistically productive again. So at the very least, if this experience is good for nothing else, maybe I can get myself back to a point where I can consider myself an artist again. That would be nice.


I miss feeling creative, productive, useful, and appreciated for who I AM... and not what I was, could be, or might become with enough mollycoddling.


It's way too early to feel trapped, which is a horrible sign, but for the sake of arguement I'll do my best to remain causiously optomistic about the whole situation untill it blows up in my face.


 


~Jhon

Comments (4)

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J-Cat·
you are an artist? what is your media? \r \r re: moving in with GF: it takes time... relax: it may be the best thing you ever did...
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meemoos·
Why did you do it then? Give it you're best shot--you've got a year!! \r \r (I won't say a word---hopefully she doesn't find this on her own).
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Durty·
I won't say anything either :P\r \r I would give it time...right now you guys are adjusting to the 'our' stuff and trying to find where 'mine' and 'yours' still exists. If you go in expecting the worst though, the worst is likely to happen. \r \r I heart you Penguin, I heart both of you...and I do hope it works out for you. \r \r Mwah!
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PenguinMafia138·
I was right, it blew up in my face. To be honest, I don't even remember writing that... but my memory has always been shotty. Prophetic AND absent minded... strange combo.\r \r @J-Cat: I use traditional media; charcoals, pastels, colored pencils, etc. I used to be pretty damn good with photoshop, but time has ground that foundation to dust. I've also been trying my hand at being a writer recently. Plenty of projects, not enough time.