Freitag!

BOB\r We're still men.\r \r JACK\r Yes, we're men. Men is what we are.\r \r JACK (V.O.)\r Eight months ago, Bob's testicles were removed. Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. And that was where I fit--\r \r BOB\r They're gonna have to open my pecs again to drain the fluid.\r \r Bob hugs tighter.\r \r JACK (V.O.)\r Between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you'd think of God's as big.\r \r Bob looks with empathy into Jack's eyes.\r \r BOB\r Okay. You cry now.\r \r JACK (V.O.)\r No, wait. Back up. Let me start earlier.\r \r

Margaritas? Then you will do your wife's hair and she will do yours? Having a slumber party? Butch it up man for petes sake. Bust out the scotch and cigars and play some COD4 with your bros.

Last week, as my clanmates know because they were told repeatedly, I drank an entire bottle of Jack Daniels while playing COD4. While I'm told it was fun, this week I'd like at least some hazy memory of what happened. Plus I have a shitload of Patron Silver to drink, and when I drink it straight I can't do it fast enough to get lit.\r \r So...margarita night!

JACK (V.O.)\r When deep space exploration ramps up, it will be corporations that name everything: The IBM Stellar Sphere. The Microsoft Galaxy. Planet Starbucks.\r \r Jack, sipping stares blankly as his BOSS enters, Starbucks cup in hand, and hands a stack of reports.\r \r BOSS\r Gonna need you out-of-town a little more this week. We've got some \"red-flags\" to cover.\r \r JACK (V.O.)\r It must've been Tuesday. He was wearing his \"cornflower-blue\" tie.\r \r JACK\r (listless management speak)\r You want me to de-prioritize my current reports until you advise of a status upgrade?\r \r BOSS\r Make these your primary \"action items\". Here are your flight coupons. Call me from the road if there are any snags.\r \r Jack's boss slides the stack of reports on Jack's desk and leaves.\r \r JACK (V.O.)\r He was full of pep. Must've had his grande latte enema.\r \r

JACK (V.O.)\r Like so many others, I had become a slave to the IKEA nesting instinct.\r \r JACK\r (into phone)\r Yes, I'd like to order the Erika Peccary dust ruffles...\r \r OPERATOR (V.O.)\r Please hold.\r \r Jack drops the catalog on the floor.\r \r

zzzzzzzzzzzzz....................... \r \r Seems as though Baine is on a SERIOUS Fite Klub kick today! Holy crap! \r \r Mister if you were my boss I would beat you with a rubber hose..

The Klipske personal office unit, the Hovertrekke home exer-bike. Or the Johannshamnh sofa with the Strinne green stripe pattern...\r \r The office unit APPEARS. Then the exer-bike APPEARS.\r \r JACK (V.O.)\r Even the Rislampa wire lamps of environmentally-friendly unbleached paper.\r \r THE LAMP APPEARS. PAN OVER to wall...\r \r JACK (V.O.)\r I would flip through catalogs and wonder \"what kind of dining set defines me as a person?\"\r \r A dining room set APPEARS. Jack, the cordless phone still glued to his ear, walks INTO FRAME and continues. Jack opens a cabinet with plates in it.\r \r JACK (V.O.)\r I had it all. Even the glass dishes with tiny bubbles and imperfections, proof they were crafted by the honest, simple, hard working people of...wherever.\r \r OPERATOR (V.O.)\r Please hold.\r \r JACK\r (into phone)\r I was holding.\r \r JACK( V.O.)\r We used to read pornography. Now it was the Horchow Collection.\r \r

the only thing worse would be daiquiris\r \r I am sticking to beer tonight

To paraphrase MJ, your (new avatar) is hot. \r \r I have to hang with my parents tonight. I think I'll take my Wii and Whiskey.

INTERN\r No, you can't die from insomnia.\r \r JACK\r What about narcolepsy? I nod off, I wake up in strange places, I have no idea how I got there.\r \r INTERN\r You need to lighten up.\r \r JACK\r Can't you, please, just give me something?\r \r JACK (V.O.)\r Red-and-blue Tuinal lipstick-red seconals.\r \r INTERN\r (overlapping with above)\r No. You need healthy, natural sleep. Chew some valerian root and get some more exercise.\r \r The Intern rushes Jack to the door. They step into the...\r \r INT. HALLWAY\r \r

I guarantee i'll get more fucked up on margs than you will on beers, and it's not a tolerance thing.

I remember one time as a kid I thought it would be fun to try see if I could light gasoline on fire. I did and it wasn't as fun as I thought.\r \r I tried to put the fire out by dumping the gasoline into a nearby creek, but what happened was the fire stayed lit as it flowed downstream, eventually catching leaves and debris on fire. Instead of taking responsibility for this I just ran.\r \r The moral of this story: Go ahead and drink your margaritas.

hmm.. lets see.. Take game seriously and get pissed when I'm not doing so well.. OR get fucked up and who gives a crap! .. \r \r Lets watch MTK walk in circles in the game!

I guarantee you will get more fucked up on me despite what we are drinking