Dad Spam: The Startle System

Slightly NSFW....as far as text goes...

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go
to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.
In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready
to ejaculate, try startling yourself."

That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter
pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At
home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began,
they found themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, felt
the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.

The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How
did it go?"

The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired the pistol, my wife peed
in my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the
closet with his hands in the air."