Da Roundup

John Travolta says no to psychiatric medication

Scientology: Making Mormonism look sane by comparison

Aborigines banned from booze, porn

“Aborigine” just became one more thing I’m glad I’m not

Mixed reviews for 'Lord of the Rings' musical

I wish there was a tachometer in JRR Tolkien’s casket to measure how fast he’s spinning in it…

Belts high, elderly chorus sings Sonic Youth, Radiohead

Later, an impromptu crowd-surfing session results in a trio of broken hips

FBI investigates online 'hitman' scams

Agent 47 sending out spoofed Paypal emails

Drink binge blaze kills 10 elderly

Grandma and her silly Firewater shots…

Oregon girls kicked off bus for kissing

Each other. Man, being a teenager in Oregon in 2007 sounds a lot cooler than being a teenager in Indianapolis in 1989.

Waist size tied to urinary symptoms in older men

This story pisses me off…

Many American colleges balk at U.S. News rankings

Magazine allowed to advance to second base.

High-fives violate 'no-touching' policy

The terrorists have already won

Drag racers killed homecoming queen

OMG! “Drag-Racing Killer Homecoming Queens” was the name of the band I was my sophomore year!

Druids, Pagans and Hippies Party

The House of Representatives must be having an ice cream social

Missing Chilean Lake Baffles Scientists

Scientists should check under front seat in car. When I lose something, that’s usually where it is.

Exhibit Examines History of Gay Veterans

Exhibit attendees aren’t allowed to talk about it, though.