Change is Good

I haven't blogged here in a while, just thought I would see if I still had friends here.  There have been a lot of changes in my life, some good, and all of it was hard.  Matt (Kurupt) and I are no longer together.  Our divorce should be final soon.  We both made mistakes, and I fell into the darkness and did not have the will to allow anyone to help me out.  Life is full of changes, and the transistion was extrememly difficult for me to accept.  I felt like I had lost everything, and I did.  I took my family for granted and had lost the vision of beauty that this life holds.  My kids suffered, and so did Matt.  I felt like I had been strong for him and stood by his side through all these years and when it was my turn to collapse, he just left me their to suffer.  I believed that our love could carry us through anything, and I had put all my energy into him and my family for 8 years.  I stood by his side when everyone thought that I shouldn't.  I felt that I deserved that same devotion.  That is how I felt when i was served with divorce papers in August.  I have since recovered, and healed some and realize that we just weren't good for eachother anymore.  I respect that.  We were fighting most of the time and it was not good for the kids.  I respect his descion now, and I am a better person than I have been in several years.  We were both broken, and not helping eachother the way we should have.  I fell into a deep depression and could not bear to get out of bed.  The simpilist of things were to over whelming for me to comprehend.  During this time, he turned to the only friend he had, Fairy.  She was his rock.  And through all of this their relationship has grown and he has fallen in love with her.  To be honest, I am very happy that they have eachother.  All I want is for matt to be happy and enjoy life.  We both deserve that.  When I wasn't looking, someone walked into my life and brought the Light with him.  Finally I am enjoying life again and I feel whole.  We are both better off and our kids deserve for us to be be happy and they understand that mommy and daddy are both better people now.  I hope to get back into gaming soon once things get settled and I am fully standing on my feet.  I am happier now than I have been in years, and I know that Matt is too.