Blah...

Been pretty busy at work, so blog posts are down.

I'll make it up to y'all soon.

My wife likes sticking her tits in my face, then asking for something really expensive. She inevitably get what she wants. This, my friends, is what is known as a booby trap.

See if you can solve the mystery from the clues you are given. None are trick questions. Answers are at the end.

Mystery 1... A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis:
The Wife said she was sleeping.
The Cook was cooking breakfast.
The Gardener was picking vegetables.
The Maid was getting the mail.
The Butler was cleaning the closet.
The police instantly arrested the murderer.
Who did it and how did they know?

Mystery 2... A man walks into a his bathroom and shoots himself right between the eyes using a real gun with real bullets. He walks out alive, with no blood anywhere. And no, he didn't miss and he wasn't Superman or any other caped crusader. How did he do this?

Mystery 3... Old Mr. Tidy was found dead in his study by Mr. Fiend. Mr. Fiend recounted his dismal discovery to the police. "I was walking by Mr. Tidy's house when I thought I would just pop in for a visit. I noticed his study light was on and I decided to peek in from the outside to see if he was in there.

There was frost on the window, so I had to wipe it away to see inside. That is when I saw his body. So I kicked in the front door to confirm my suspicions of foul play. I called the police immediately afterward." The officer immediately arrested Mr. Fiend for the murder of Mr. Tidy. How did he know Mr. Fiend was lying?

Mystery 4... Some of Jim's family are unable to spell, so as a result many members of the family are known only by a letter of the alphabet. A is the brother of B, C is the daughter of B. E is the sister of A, and Jim is the brother of C. F is the father of E. Who is Jim's Uncle?

A panic-stricken golfer charged into the clubhouse, grabbed the pro by the arm and said, "You gotta help! I was on the 9th hole and I hit a terrible slice. The ball sailed right off the course and hit a guy riding a motorcycle. He lost control and swerved into the path of a truck. The truck tried to stop but jack-knifed, rolled over and broke apart. It was carrying thousands of bee hives and now the angry bees are attacking everyone in sight. It's awful! It's a disaster! What should I do?" And the pro answered, "Well, the first thing is you've got to keep your arms straight and remember to get your right hand a bit more under the club."

"I don't understand it, doctor. My weight is just out of control," said Mrs. Pauly. "I've gained over 70 pounds in the last two months. Why, just yesterday, my husband called me a Fat Cow!"
"Well," said the doctor, "I'm sure that we can find a cause for this. Let's begin with an examination. Stick out your tongue and say 'Mooo.' "