Back Already!

S
SoupNazzi

w00t!


Wife's injections went off without a hitch.  She even got a couple of trigger point injections into her neck.  Ouch.


I'll try and do some NFL picks this afternoon.  I still need to review the lines and injury report, but that doesn't take long.


Speaking of Odds, ever wonder what yours are?






Odds that a person between the age of 18 and 29 does NOT read a newspaper regularly: 3 to 1


Odds that an American adult does not want to live to age 120 under any circumstances: 3 to 2


Odds of injury from fireworks: 19,556 to 1


Odds of injury from shaving: 6,585 to 1


Odds of injury from using a chain saw: 4,464 to 1


Odds of injury from mowing the lawn: 3,623 to 1


Odds of fatally slipping in bath or shower: 2,232 to 1


Odds of drowning in a bathtub: 685,000 to 1


Odds of being killed on a 5-mile bus trip: 500,000,000 to 1


Odds of being killed sometime in the next year in any sort of transportation accident: 77 to 1


Odds of being killed in any sort of non-transportation accident: 69 to 1


Odds of being struck by lightning: 576,000 to 1


Odds of being killed by lightning: 2,320,000 to 1


Odds of being murdered: 18,000 to 1


Odds of getting away with murder: 2 to 1


Odds of being the victim of serious crime in your lifetime: 20 to 1


Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1


Odds of being considered possessed by Satan: 7,000 to 1


Odds that a first marriage will survive without separation or divorce for 15 years: 1.3 to 1


Odds that a celebrity marriage will last a lifetime: 3 to 1


Odds of getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1


Odds of being born a twin in North America: 90 to 1


Odds of being on plane with a drunken pilot: 117 to 1


Odds of being audited by the IRS: 175 to 1


Odds of having your identity stolen: 200 to 1


Odds of dating a millionaire: 215 to 1


Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1


Odds of writing a New York Times best seller: 220 to 1


Odds of finding out your child is a genius: 250 to 1


Odds of catching a ball at a major league ballgame: 563 to 1


Odds of becoming a pro athlete: 22,000 to 1


Odds of finding a four-leaf clover on first try: 10,000 to 1


Odds of a person in the military winning the Medal of Honor: 11,000 to 1


Odds of winning an Academy Award: 11,500 to 1


Odds of striking it rich on Antiques Roadshow: 60,000 to 1


Odds of getting a royal flush in poker on first five cards dealt: 649,740 to 1


Odds of spotting a UFO today: 3,000,000 to 1


Odds of becoming president: 10,000,000 to 1


Odds of winning the California lottery: 13,000,000 to 1


Odds of becoming a saint: 20,000,000 to 1


Odds of a meteor landing on your house: 182,138,880,000,000 to 1


Chance of an American home having at least one container of ice cream in the freezer: 9 in 10.


Chance of dying from any kind of injury during the next year: 1 in 1,820


Chance of dying from intentional self-harm: 1 in 9,380


Chance of dying from an assault: 1 in 16,421


Chance of dying from a car accident: 1 in 18,585


Chance of dying from any kind of fall: 1 in 20,666


Chance of dying from accidental drowning: 1 in 79,065


Chance of dying from exposure to smoke, fire, and flames: 1 in 81,524


Chance of dying in an explosion: 1 in 107,787


Chance that Earth will experience a catastrophic collision with an asteroid in the next 100 years: 1 in 5,000


Chance of dying in such a collision: 1 in 20,000


Chance of dying from exposure to forces of nature (heat, cold, lightning, earthquake, flood): 1 in 225,107


Chance of dying in an airplane accident: 1 in 354,319


Chance of dying from choking on food: 1 in 370,035


Chance of dying in a terrorist attack while visiting a foreign country: 1 in 650,000


Chance of dying in a fireworks accident: 1 in 1,000,000


Chance of dying from overexertion, travel or privation: 1 in 1,428,377


Chance of dying from food poisoning: 1 in 3,000,000


Chance of dying from legal execution: 1 in 3,441,325


Chance of dying from contact with hot tap water: 1 in 5,005,564


Chance of dying from parts falling off an airplane: 1 in 10,000,000


Chance of dying from ignition or melting of nightwear: 1 in 30,589,556


Chance of dying from being bitten by a dog: 1 in 700,000


Chance of dying from contact with a venomous animal or plant: 1 in 3,441,325


Chance of dying from being bitten or struck by mammals (other than dogs or humans): 1 in 4,235,477


Chance of dying from a mountain lion attack in California: 1 in 32,000,000


Chance of dying from a shark attack: 1 in 300,000,000


Chance of having a stroke: 1 in 6


Chance of dying from heart disease: 1 in 3


Chance of getting arthritis: 1 in 7


Chance of suffering from asthma or allergy diseases: 1 in 6


Chance of getting the flu this year: 1 in 10


Chance of developing schizophrenia: 1 in 00


Chance of contracting the human version of mad cow disease: 1 in 40,000,000


Chance of dying from SARS in the United States: 1 in 100,000,000


Chance of American man developing cancer in his lifetime: 1 in 2


Chance of an American woman developing cancer in her lifetime: 1 in 3


Chance of getting prostate cancer: 1 in 6


Chance of getting breast cancer: 1 in 9


Chance of getting colon / rectal cancer: 1 in 26


Chance of beating pancreatic or liver cancer: 1 in 9


Chance of beating thyroid or testicular cancer: 9 in 10






Adam Sandler's Cheap Halloween Costumes


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGBo-BEy3R8[/youtube]


Borat - Dinner Prayer


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PYTGvbPPEk[/youtube]


Borat - Being Pulled Over by Police


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-A1l6eaHpAY[/youtube]


Borat - Illegal Immigrant


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRhM-fF1xFU[/youtube]


Ever want Lasik Surgery?


[google]http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1245029268272359092&q=lasik+surgury[/google]

Comments (5)

M
MTK005·
I wanted lasik surgery, since I've worn glasses since 3rd grade and my eyes are terrible. But 20 seconds of that video made me want to scream aloud.\r \r I should trust my instincts when they say \"don't click that\".
G
Grants·
ohhhh!! That lasic surgery was crazy! did you see that, he touched her eye! thats crazy! now gimmie some candy!!
G
GIJoeBob·
Any medical procedure is going to look graphic. Don't let that bother you.\r \r I had Lasik a few years back. Just make sure you have it done by a reputable doctor. The procedure itself was painless. Afterwards it just felt like I had something in my eye and that only lasted a few hours.\r \r You have a series of steroid eye drops and then be careful about rubbing your eyes for about a week and that's it.\r \r \r I had 20/200 vision going in and 20/20 when I sat up from the procedure.
B
Brad·
chances of me having lasik surgery = 1 in 8...\r now GIMME SOME CANDY!!!!\r \r Ahhh - Adam Sandler WAS funny - I had forgotten...
S
SoupNazzi·
Sorry... not trying to scare anyone from getting Lasik.\r \r I've also had lasik and would never 2nd guess the decision as I love my 20/20 vision.\r \r The video is graphic, but like GIJoeBob said, the surgury itself is painless.