A Day At The Office
For those who don't know, which I suspect is everyone; I'm in the construction business. A general contractor/carpenter to be more exact. However, today’s entry is not really about me. It's about the gifted minds that I work with.
"Listen", I said to him in a half-jokingly tone, “Don’t stand on the board that you're cutting!"
As I said that I was reminded of the old cartoon 'Road Runner'. For those not familiar, the 'bad guy' in the cartoon was 'Wile E. Coyote' (or something very close to that) Poor fellow always had great ideas that never executed well. He would paint roadways on the sides of cliffs only to have that annoying bird defy all sense of physics and common sense, and just run right through the painting as if it wasn't a painting at all. The coyote would try to run right after him only to find that the 'defy reality' law only applied to pesky birds who said "beep, beep".
One scene, that I've seen repeated in throughout history, is where Coyote climbs a tree to cut down a branch on top of Road Runner. But lo and behold, when he finishes the cut, the tree itself falls out from under him, while the branch stays floating in mid-air. To obtain a better sense of this logic, just play Halo 2 in my seat, and watch how the shotgun shoots me from back BR on Lockout and I'm all the way top pink on Midship.
But I digress...
So I said to the guy “Don’t stand on the board that you’re cutting". More as a joke than anything. Sigh..... Although most of you wouldn't think I'd have to say a warning like that, but if I did, you would certainly pay attention.
He didn't.......
He stood, with one leg on the board that he was cutting and one leg on a safe and happy place. Once he finished the cut, gravity took over. The board fell 13 feet and landed on its edge. The genius fell 11 feet and landed on the edge of the board. Had he actually fallen the entire 13 feet and landed on his head, I think it would be safe to say that he would have been perfectly safe. Since he landed on the edge of the board (on his side) he was indeed, not okay.
He sustained 4 broken ribs. One of them broken twice, and a punctured lung. Now, before anyone goes feeling bad for him, remember, I wanted him when I shouldn't have to AND I had to listen to him the WHOLE time on the way to the hospital..
Wahhh... I can't breathe... Wahhh... It hurts... Wahhh.. I didn’t know the laws of gravity.
We have a workman's comp policy that state 'in event of injury, the worker will be submitted to a drug screening test'. Now, you can opt not to take the test, but you will not be compensated for your injuries if A) You do not take the test or B) Drugs are found in your system.
He took the test.
He could have save everyone a lot of time. As a matter of fact I'm sure that he smoked a 'fatty' during his fall.
Doctor - "What seems to be the problem son?
Einstein - "I think I broke my ribs, oh and I burnt my index finger and thumb!"
(Think about it, you'll get it)
Sigh... And that ladies and gentlemen is a mostly true story. It is also the reason I don't complain about lag, un-sticky plasmas, being shot through a wall, etc. Because my real life is more unbelievable than my Halo life.
Thank you and good night.