3 Day Weekend!

Woot!!!

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Not News:  Vehicle hits black lab and kills it.  Dog is left on the road.

News:  Animal Control Officer is called to collect the body.  When he arrives, there is a man with the body.

Weird News:  The man is having sex with the body.

Off the Chart Weird:  The animal is on a road in front of a Day-Care.

http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=57939

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So, Wiki's are exploding on the internet for anything and everything lately.  I recently ran across a Wiki called "Wiki After Dark".  Excellent.  A sex Wiki!!!

So, while browsing this Wiki, I ran across some of the following terms: (Warning.  Pretty misogynistic)

The Abe Lincoln - After shaving your pubes, collect them into a ball and set aside. The next time you plan to receive a blowjob, keep them bunched in your hand. When you are about to orgasm, pull out and cum all over your partners chin, cheeks, upper lip, etc. Then quickly peg her in the face (where you just came) with the ball of pubes, leaving a pubic hair beard reminiscent of Aberham Lincoln.  (I've heard of this one, but didn't know what it really involved)

The Jelly Doughnut - The Jelly Doughnut is the act of ejaculating onto the face of a woman after oral, vaginal, and/or anal sex and then proceeding to punch her in the nose for the desired result of cum and a rush blood on her face, which she finds erotic. (note: the term "jelly doughnut" is derived from the combination of cum and blood resembling a freshly bitten jelly doughnut.) Also known as Strawberry Swirl and or Strawberry Shortcake. Although this might cause a bit of pain, if you knock her out with a Donkey Punch she won't feel a thing!

The Alaskan Pipeline (Just for you Jolly!) - (a.k.a. Northeastern Frozen Pipeline or The Alaskan Dildo) This old school bad ass move is when you proceed to take a shit in a condom(preferably prelubricated). Then freeze that bad mother and start having sex with your girl in the kitchen. As you fuck her reach into the freezer grab your frozen turd and shove it up her ass. If the shit is not in a condom you may want to lube her up before hand since the frost sometimes makes the blade stick, which, like ripping your tounge from an icy pole can be painful. So depending on how you feel about the tramp bring some KY.

If this passage aroused you after reading it.  WTF is wrong with you?!?!?

The Angry Pirate - When a man is receiving head while standing and his partner on their knees. Just before he ejaculates in his partners mouth, he pulls out and busts a nut in his partners eye. This will cause the hoe to shut the eye with the semen in it. When the partner jumps up in anger, the man kicks his partner in the shin, causing the partner to jump up and down holding the kicked leg and screaming "ARRRGHH!" in pain. If you are STILL not satisfied with her pirate impression, simply give her a nice jab to the stomach and she'll be in pain for hours.

Angry Dragon - While a girl is sucking you off, right as you are about to cum, you grab hold of her head and pull her mouth as far onto your cock as possible. She proceeds to gag from the cock unexpectedly being rammed down her throat, but since your cock is blocking her air passage, her cough (and your cum) exit through her nose. The cum dripping out of both of the girl’s nostrils, resembles a dragon’s snout - and after pulling a stunt like this, you can be sure she's going to be an angry one. Just make sure not to keep your cock in her mouth or she will surely die from asphyxiation, which will result in you going to jail and being raped by very large men.

The Spiderman - While having sex in any position, just as you are about to cum, pull out, bust into your hand and then flick it into your partners face shouting "GO WEB GO!". (LOL, this is a good one.)

The Tony Danza - The Tony Danza is the act of, while intercourse, asking your female partner "Who's the Boss?" and when she responds "You are!", you punch her in the face and say "Wrong bitch! Tony Danza is the boss!".

If your partner has the initial response of "Tony Danza!" when asked who the Boss is, it is recommended to slap her in the face and tell her that You are in fact the boss.

Lucky Pierre (Just for you Laud) - The middle man in a 3-way buttfuck. Also known as the French Sandwich.

The Unholy Trinity (Just for Site Chat) - The unholy trinity consists of three pictures on the internet.

#1. TubGirl- an asian female in the bathroom with her anus above her mouth spewing orange enema fluid into her mouth.

#2. Goatse- a man stretching his anus at least 6 inches in diameter with his hands. after seeing this look up the 8 stages of goatse online.. they are quite funny.

#3. Lemonparty - 3 old men having a gay orgy.

If you see this and your eyes don't explode and you can still get a boner after.. you are a god

If u masturbate to all 3 of these...  you need to die.

Soon to be a new Trinity:

Meatspin - The newest installation of internet trickery. It is an .gif of two homosexuals having intercourse while the male on top has his penis spinning in circles.

Mudfall - Just like meatspin this is also a .gif that has one asian shitting on another asian in the face.  This is related to those triking friend websites.

Bottleguy - An exclusive picture of a man with a two litre glass bottle shoved up his ass. Comparable to lemonparty.