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Top Ten Coolest Guns in Gaming

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 12:24 — SarcasmoJones

We’ve all spent countless hours shooting the shit out of each other with shotguns, miniguns, assault rifles, pistols, BARs, DMRs, SMGs, and RPGs. Lah de fucking dah. Sometimes a developer has to go sci-fi, surreal, or just fucking weird to deliver a unique trigger squeezer. The criteria for this list is that the weapon must be a gun, it must be unique, and, above all, it must be cool.

 

10. Demon Laser: Doom 64

The Demon Laser has only appeared in the Doom crafted for the Nintendo 64, and resembles a red biomechanical demon phallus with a trigger. The Demon Laser can be upgraded, using demon artifacts, to shoot three lasers at once, capable of taking down a Cyberdemon in mere seconds. BFG...big fucking deal: the Demon Laser is the only Doom weapon with Satan’s personal seal of approval.

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9. Fat Man: Fallout Series

Bethesda upped the arsenal when they took control of the Fallout series and turned it into a FPS/RPG, providing players with an array of conventional firearms and more than a few futuristic goodies, like laser and plasma weapons. However, nothing quite matches the firepower and awesome destructive bliss of a Fat Man and a sackful of Mini-Nukes. When absolutely everyone has to die, nothing matches the crowd pleasing destructiveness of this mushroom cloud laying hand catapult. Don’t leave the vault without it.

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8. Radar Range: Bioshock Infinite

During the Burial at Sea DLC for Bioshock Infinite, players get the chance to harness the power of a microwave oven in gun form: just point and cook. Those unfortunate to be on the receiving end of the Radar Range are briefly cooked then turned into a living bomb, taking out any baddies unlucky enough to be in the blast radius. As an added bonus, the radar range is fairly efficient with ammunition, so feel free to share the warmth.

 

7. Dubstep Gun: Saints Row IV

Why drop the hammer when you can drop the bass instead? The crowd pleasing Dubstep Gun incapacitates entire blocks at a time, giving President Sarcasmo Jones a little elbow room when aliens and rival gangs try to crowd the man. Warning: Dubstep has no effect on giant energy drinks.

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6. FarSight XR-20: Perfect Dark

Perfect Dark, on the N64, contained a fair share of unique weapons, like auto-aiming SMGs and a Laptop Gun that doubled as a protective turret. However, the weapon of choice for those seeking the ultimate dick move in deathmatch was the FarSight XR-20: a railgun that could shoot through any obstacle. Not only could this weapon shoot through walls, it had an x-ray scope, which allowed assholes to kill you all the way across the map, regardless of how many walls stood between you and the perpetrator. Kill em quick and don’t let them reach a camping spot.

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5. RYNO V: Ratchet & Clank- A Crack in Time

The Ratchet & Clank series is famous for its batshit-crazy guns, but the RYNO V is the batshittiest gun in the series. Is batshittiest even a word? Who cares. Imagine a gun, comprised of two overlapping gatling barrels that fires rockets from a center barrel to Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture: that is the RYNO V. Nothing kills like a classic.

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4. Portal Gun: Portal/ Portal 2

Guns are generally simple things to operate: point it, squeeze the trigger, and something dies. Yeah, the Portal Gun doesn’t do that. The good folks at Aperture Science have developed a gun that creates dimensional doors. Create an entrance, then create an exit. How hard could it be?

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3. Shrink Ray: Duke Nukem Series

Duke had all the cool shit: chain guns, SMGs, heat guns, freeze rays, but the best gun in the game shrunk even the mightiest foe down to rodent size. The effect was, of course, temporary, but gave you enough time to Duke stomp them into oblivion. Make sure you keep the safety on when not in use...you do not want this one going off in your pocket.

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2. The Gravity Gun: Half Life 2

This is Valve’s second entry on the coolest guns list, and the Gravity Gun is one of the coolest. The gun emits a beam that allows the player to hold and project almost any object in the game: explosive barrels, humans, circular saw blades, whatever. The Gravity Gun requires no ammo, so it’s always there for you. Players pick this one up right before heading into Ravenholm, and I can’t imagine going there without it. Okay, you can call it the Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator if you really, really want to.

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1. Cerebral Bore: Turok 2- Seeds of Evil

Before the series self destructed in the reboot, Turok was one of the better game franchises. The dinosaurs were especially problematic, until players got their hands on the mighty Cerebral Bore. Part explosive, part Phantasm Ball, the Cerebral Bore fired heat seeking ammunition that drilled into the victim’s brain, ejecting blood, gore, and brain matter out of the entry wound. Once the bore ran out of grey matter to pump out, it exploded, taking most of the head off in the explosion: extra special fun in deathmatch. Turok 2 may have had some of the shittiest cutscenes in gaming, but the Cerebral Bore more than makes up for that. Drill, baby, drill!

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Comments
SoulTerror's picture

Aaahhh the Cerebral Bore. The times I have ran for my life from that thing. Good times.

Nightfall's picture

Just came to check if the HL2 gravity gun was on your list.  I can sleep easy tonight now.  ;)

FreynApThyr's picture

Fatman?  Sure if you don't want to decorate megatron with severed heads using a gun that has it's own steam whistle maybe...

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SarcasmoJones's picture

Megatron? This is Fallout, not the Transformers.The Railway Gun is too similar to guns in other games to be considered for this list.

Minotaur's picture

I was going to say that the ODST Automag pistol was hard to beat, till I read about not wanting the Shrink Ray going off in your pocket.... LOL

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