Children run wild on the Net: Teach them manners

How many times have we badly beaten some kids in a friendly game of Halo 2 only to hear a string of profanities, racial epithets and the like either during or after the game? It seems that some of our fellow gamers cannot communicate without swearing, name-calling and trash talking. Now, I know what you are thinking, “What’s wrong with a little swearing or trash talking after a particularly intense engagement in online multiplayer mayhem?” I agree I’ve been tempted to utter an expletive after getting killed by the same opponent several times in a row, or perhaps crouch down on the face of said opponent after returning the favor, however these should be the exception rather than the rule. After enjoying Halo 2 for over a year and a half, I’ve seen and heard just about everything, or at least come to understand the general online experience.

I’ve often wondered if some of our younger gamer friends would use the same language if we were playing at a LAN party instead of miles apart via the information superhighway. I’m not positive as to the size and strength of most members of the 2old2play community, but I would imagine most of us would have the capability of intimidating your average middle-schooler in a face-to-face confrontation. Not that I’m promoting violence against kids, but it would be pretty funny to go to a kid’s house and tell him to repeat what he said online.

It is this anonymity that makes the online arena so much fun and causes so many problems. It is very similar to the thoughts that pop into our head in public or on the job, but our better judgement kicks in and we censor ourselves. Answering our coworker’s question, “Does this make me look fat,” could end up very badly if our true thoughts were to come through. (Think Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar when his boss takes him in to the boardroom, except with a different ending) However, in the privacy of our living room we feel free to come back with whatever comment comes to mind. The same thing holds true for the adolescent set.

Although I hate to perpetuate the gamer stereotype, a lot of the online gamers are probably not the most popular kid in class and as a result probably get picked on at some time. They would love to come back to Johnny Football with a stream of profanity, but they too have the built in censor that tells them it would not be in their best interest to talk trash to a guy twice their size. Get the same kid in a team slayer or a rumble pit match or in a game site message board and all that pent up rage comes spewing forth as a stream of consciousness of swear words.

Sometimes, as I hear what has to be a 12-year-old (or younger) kid rattle off profanity after profanity, I ask myself, “Where in the world are this kid’s parents?” Some kids might have their own wing of a mansion or stay up after mom and dad are in bed, but that cannot explain all the bad behavior. I realize my upbringing might have been a little bit more conservative than some, but if my parents had caught me calling someone a *#@!*%#@!, getting my rank to go up would have been the very least of my problems. My Xbox would have been broken into a million pieces and burned, and that’s just for starters.

These kids are not going to get any better until their parents get a little more involved in what their kids are doing. First of all, this game is rated Mature, and is legally not to be sold to kids under seventeen. Now I know trying to enforce underage game sales is like trying to enforce a cell phone ban while driving, but this illustrates the lack of involvement that too many parents have. Of course, when these parents do happen to walk by the TV they might hear someone like their son on the other end using colorful phrases to describe their precious little gamer. Then they become super parent saving Timmy from the evils of video games.

On a more positive note, I actually ended up in a team slayer match on Lockout in which a father was playing with his son and his son’s friends. Now this is how online gaming should work. These guys had obviously practiced together quite a bit, and used great teamwork in soundly thumping my team and me. I could tell this parent was involved in what his kid was doing, instead of a) totally ignoring his son b) telling his son that video games would rot his brain, or c) “acting” like he was interested in his son’s hobby. Not once did these guys use any foul language, unless you count “noob” as a four-letter word. Perhaps this parent could be on to something, spending time with your kids doing something you both can enjoy.

Now this is where the manners part comes in to play. We “older” gamers can influence our kids for starters; schooling them in online multiplayer strategy and etiquette. Just as our parents taught us about sportsmanship in baseball, football and soccer, we can teach our kids and their friends about virtual sportsmanship. However, in order to teach we must first remember to practice what we preach. As I’ve already said, I understand the urge to let something colorful fly when you’re really mad, but that shouldn’t be every time we get killed in a no-shields rocket match. If we model good behavior, our kids will pick up on it much quicker than the “do what I say, not what I do” school of thought.

What is going to happen if we do not start changing their behavior? Children will grow up with a high lack of professional communication skills. College professors and high school teachers already gripe about students using the same grammar and punctuation in reports as they do when they are instant messaging their friends. “i thought beowulf was funny LOL :) do U know what I mean,” will probably not earn high marks in English class.

I taught science for two years and I can confirm that IM grammar is alive in well in the writing of our young people. Consider how this correlates to other Internet behaviors. Little Timmy grows up, gets a job, has a teleconference, calls a new hire a ****ing noob, ends up working at a fast food restaurant. Now that is an extreme case, but not entirely unlikely. I know I am not the only one who has caught myself driving a little bit faster after playing a racing game for a couple of hours, trying to find the fastest lines between my house and the grocery store. That is one of the goals of video game makers - to transport gamers to another world. Eventually little Timmy has a harder time separating real life from game life and forgets to censor himself. Use your imagination, I’m sure you can think of an equally entertaining scenario involving corporate world Timmy and a lack of restraint.

So, what is a responsible socially conscious gamer to do? First, ease up on the language. Younger kids emulate what they hear, whether on the TV, radio, or on their headsets. You really do not want to be the reason some kid asks his mommy what **** means. Second, practice good sportsmanship. If your team is clearly better than the team you’re matched up against, win, but don’t be a jerk about it. We’ve all been on the other end, and it’s not fun.

There’s no need to add insult to injury. Why not offer to play some customs and give them some tips if they’re cool guys or girls. If they’re sore losers, press B in the lobby instead of getting in a yelling match with a kid that doesn’t even have a driver’s license. An increased level of maturity is what interested me in 2old2play to begin with; don’t act like the gamers we’re supposed to be different than. Third, if you’ve got kids or relatives that game, take them under your wing and teach them the art of being a good player. Think Big Brothers/Big Sisters but in terms of gaming. I don’t think you can use it as community service on your resume, but it’s worth a shot.

I don’t think I’m being unrealistic in my suggestions. I know we cannot stop global warming, world hunger or even bird flu by being a good gamer, but at least we can make online gaming a friendlier place. As more mature gamers we have a little bit of responsibility in setting acceptable behaviors in the online community. So let’s clean up our act and help mold the future of online gaming.