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2o2p Game Review | Transistor

Thu, 06/05/2014 - 07:26 — ElektraFi

Supergiant Games thrilled the gaming world with their first game, Bastion, during the Summer of 2011. Narrated by Logan Cunningham, Bastion quickly became an Indie mega-hit with many people wandering around their homes talking in his deep, throaty voice. Now, almost three years later, Supergiant once again tackles the Action RPG genre with their latest release, Transistor.


Release Date: May 20, 2014
Platform(s): PS4 and PC

In Transistor you play as Red, who is a famous singer in a city under siege by something called the Process. Red lost her voice during the initial attack but gained a sword companion instead. The sword, coincidentally named the Transistor, is voiced by the recognizable velvety tones of Logan Cunningham. Throughout the game, the Transistor helps and guides Red as they travel across the city of Cloudbank trying to figure out what the heck is going on.

See video

It's all about the function

As you play through the game, you unlock additional skills called functions. Functions can be combined and strung together for a variety of battle move combinations. One of the keys to the game’s combat is being able to effectively plan out a few moves while at the same time avoiding damage from the robots. If you don’t plan properly, your functions can be overloaded and thus unusable for a time. If you lose all your functions in an area battle with the Process, you die and have to start that area all over again.

The majority of the game is played in the isometric view, with you on foot hauling around a big ass sword behind you. As you play through each area, you encounter different things that you can interact with, such as OVC Terminals and Access Points.

ovc-terminalAt OVC Terminals, you interact and learn news about what is happening to the city, as well as “speak” with the Transistor.

Access Points let you configure skills and function combos. They all have cool names like crash(), breach(), spark(), and jaunt(). These terminals also let you re-config functions to create new interesting functions with upgrades, such as load() + breach(). You can have four main functions equipped at a time, with what seems like endless combinations of secondary and passive skills. Players have a limited amount of memory slots to fill,  so be strategic in what skills and combos you create.


At the Access Points, you can also add and remove a variety of Process Limiters. Limiters remind me of using skulls in Halo. It handicaps players in some way, but gives more bonuses at the end of each battle. For example, one limiter reduces the number of memory slots you have available. If you completely die, you get the option to remove these though as you try that area again.

“Limiters Make the Process Stronger.” 

The gameplay was a little awkward for me at first:  I am not used to playing a lot of games with the PS4 controller. With that aside, it did take a while for me to figure out how to configure combos and plan effective moves correctly to take down the enemy Process robots. Which then brings us to the Backdoor.


The Backdoor

The Backdoor is a separate area of the game that is accessible from multiple places within Cloudbank. This is your home base: a tropical oasis of sorts, where you can relax in the sun, play some ball, listen to music and even practice honing some of your skills. Think of it as a dream-like world apart from the destruction and mayhem in the city.

I am greatly distracted by this area and end up wasting too much time here kicking around a beach ball. With witty comments from the Transistor such as “Take that ball!”, this area is fun and engaging.

This is just like Bastion, right?

Yes...and no. Transistor has the same feel of Bastion, with a strong narrative story and isometric camera views and they both have the traditional ARPG elements. However, while Transistor plays similar to Bastion, it really has its own sense of style and personality. On top of that, the music is enthralling and the story.


The Verdict

Transistor is just as engaging as Bastion was. Yet, it is in essence, its own beautiful beast. Transistor is the kind of game that shows you there is more to video games than shooting your friends across a desolate field of destruction. It transports you into a beautiful world with a compelling story and maintains that feeling throughout the entire time.

At its core, Transistor is truly delightful, quirky, and at times even breathtaking. For $20 USD, you should not pass this one up.

2o2p Game Review | Wolfenstein: The New Order

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 06:46 — SarcasmoJones

World War II has been fairly fertile ground for both film directors and game developers to ply their trade. Some of my favorite movies are set during WWII: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Inglourious Basterds, Saving Private Ryan, Schindler’s List and 1941 are some of my favorites. In video games I have stormed Normandy beach in at least two different games, parachuted into France, defended Pearl Harbor, shot my way through Nazi U-boats, and chased diesel powered Panzers across every type of terrain.

Even some of the greatest comic book characters, like Magneto and Captain America, got their start in the Second World War. Modern pop culture exists only because the Nazis were stopped. A lot of games have put players in the war, but few games pursue the horrible alternate outcome of that war. What would have happened if the Nazis had won the war?


Wolfenstein veteran, B.J. Blazkowicz, and his group are on a desperate all or nothing assault on the island compound of Nazi General Deathshead near the end of 1946. The war has been extended due to the sudden, drastic improvement of Nazi technology, and the allies are losing the war. After their plane is taken down by flak, Blazkowicz, Captain Fergus Reid, and Private Wyatt silence the guns, crack the doors, and storm Deathshead’s castle with the intention of putting a bullet in that fucker’s head. Deathshead, however, is ready for them and he forces our hero to make a terrible choice that will affect the rest of the game.

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The House of the Rising Sun

Blazkowicz was taken out of the war that day in 1946 by a 4 inch piece of shrapnel in his brain. The year is 1960, and Blazkowicz has spent the last fourteen years in a Polish sanitarium as a giant vegetable. Deathshead has been using this asylum as a farm for experimental subjects, but eventually orders the place shut down and the remaining patients executed. The husband and wife staff interferes with a soldier’s duty and are executed as well, leaving only the daughter, Anya, to answer to a Nazi officer named Keller. However, Blazkowicz snaps into action just as his turn for a bullet comes up. Armed with a steak knife and the soldier’s pistol, he fights his way outside to save the girl.

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The duo find temporary refuge at the home of Anya’s grandparents. Blazkowicz learns the horrible truth of how much time he has lost and that the shadow of the Third Reich now covers the entire world. Even the Americans capitulated after atomic fire rained down on New York. Blazkowicz interrogates a stowaway senior Nazi officer, with a chainsaw, and discovers that the remnants of the Resistance are being held in a prison in Berlin. So it’s up to Blazkowicz to single handedly break  into a super-prison, restart the resistance, beat the Reich into submission, and finish off Deathshead. You didn’t think it was going to be easy, did you?


I Rode a Tank, Held a General’s Rank

Swedish developer, MachineGames, has taken the reins from id Software for the ninth installment of Wolfenstein. The game is presented in the classic id FPS style that Quake, Doom, and Wolfenstein vets will immediately recognize. Although MachineGames has abandoned the supernatural in favor of the technological in this installment, The New Order  is definitely a Wolfenstein game.

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This is not an open world game. Like every other game in the series, Wolfenstein: The New Order features very linear levels but often rewards exploration of the levels with powerups and collectibles. Game environments include a London Museum, Berlin prison, Croatian labor camp, underground train depot, the Gibraltar Bridge, castles and underground headquarters....oh, and the moon. The environments are very well rendered and, quite often, visceral.

The graphics, overall, are very good: not quite Crysis 3 on the pc, but very close for a console. The character models are especially striking, detailed, and memorable. The facial detail is remarkable, even very close up, as well as the details on clothing, the Panzerhunds, mechanical devices...even the fucking water looks spot on.


Haben Sie Glück, Punk fühlen?

It ain’t a shooter without the guns and, for the most part, the armory is standard fare: pistols, shotguns, sniper rifles, grenades, etc. Minigun turrets are featured in the prologue, but once Blazkowicz hits the 60s, those miniguns become  rapid-fire energy weapons. These energy guns can be removed from their turrets to get mobile with the death-dealing. Simply place the gun back on the turret to refill spent ammunition.

See video

Once inside the labs in the London Nautica building, Blazkowicz can retrieve the Kraftwerk Laser. The laser serves two functions: cutting chains and turning Nazis into a mess of red goo. The Kraftwerk can be continually upgraded, all the way to the end of the game, and almost always occupied my second weapon slot. Most weapons have an unlockable secondary function: assault rifles get missiles, shotguns get ricochet ammo, etc. Punching right on the D-Pad, on the XB1, activates the secondary function.


Tell Me a Story, I Won’t Leave Till You Spill Your Guts, Old Man

Historically, id doesn’t get hung up on balancing the shooter experience with a quality narrative. I honestly can’t remember the storyline for Quake or Hexen, but I do remember that they were fun as hell to play. Even Wolfenstein’s publisher, Bethesda, has been hit and miss as a storyteller. The narrative does not take a backseat in this shooter, and MachineGames has provided plenty of contextual ammunition to propel our hero’s actions. The story is, by no means, a New York Times bestseller, but it’s better than most of the shit that Hollywood is shoveling in our direction these days. The narrative provides motivation, context, progression, immersion, and closure. It hits all the right chords and climaxes perfectly. MachineGames set me in an alternate timeline, in Europe, and made it feel natural. Not bad for a video game.

 The antagonists in Wolfenstein are scene-stealers of the very best kind. Frau Engel comes off as entitled, sadistic, and in love with herself. Bubi is her sycophantic, bourgeois boyfriend who lives to validate Frau Engel’s every utterance. Several of the lesser baddies, like The Knife, had a good measure of enthusiasm poured into the voice performances, but the dude who played Deathshead knocked it out of the park. Part mad scientist, part sarcastic dick, Deathshead is one of those antagonists who has to be put down, but you almost hate to see him go.

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You Knew It Was Coming

I like Wolfenstein: The New Order, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a perfect game. I’ve played enough id shooters and have had my fill of being funneled through linear environments that corral me into the place that the dev wants me to be. The different perks given to our protagonist, either lockpicking or hotwiring, depending on the player’s choice in the prologue, opened up an alternate option on some levels. It’s a big world that begs to be explored: perhaps it’s the mark of a good game that makes you want to see more of it....but I wanted to see more of it. Another point of contention is that the game would choose what weapons I started a new area with, often changing my weapons just by walking into a new room. I had run out of ammo for the sniper rifle on the Gibraltar bridge and it kept sticking that same empty fucking gun in my hand. Yeah, nice try.

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The lack of any cooperative or multiplayer game types might be a dealbreaker for fans of games like Titanfall. If you’re looking for an online shooter to play with some friends, keep looking. Wolfenstein is a single player experience.The game also features multiple depictions of sex and the f-bomb is dropped quite frequently, so don''t pop Wolfenstein in for the kids thinking that it earned its M-Rating for a little bit of violence.


Sarcasmo Says


If you’re a fan of old school id shooters then picking up Wolfenstein: The New Order is a no-brainer. It looks good, the gameplay is tight, the story is compelling, and it entertains and immerses like a good game should. The game strikes a good balance between stealth and shooter combat . There are only two games on the XB1 that I have given a perfect score to, and this is one of them. I hope you pre-ordered this one, because reserved copies have a beta code for the new Doom game. Even without the beta, Wolfenstein is worth the sixty bucks. Now go kill some Nazis.


2o2p Game Review | Nutjitsu

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 08:54 — SarcasmoJones

Microsoft dipped its toes in the Windows 8/Xbox One port pool with Halo: Spartan Assault, without receiving an overabundance of flak. This time, either taking a cue from rival Sony’s Vita experiment, or perhaps ignoring the unfortunate fate of the Ouya, MS ported Ninjabee’s Nutjitsu (May 8, 2014)  from the Windows phone, giving it the Xbox One treatment. Will this stealthy Ninja Squirrel usher in a new age of indie game development for the new gen consoles, or will it be eaten by foxes?

main image

In Nutjitsu, players assume the role of Risu, a ninja squirrel, who is tasked with retrieving acorns and scrolls from a rival clan of foxes, named the Kitsune, who have presumably taken the nuts by nefarious means. Gameplay is contained to one single-screen maze at a time, and level advancement unlocks new mazes to play. Objectives range from gathering nuts and scrolls, hanging out (the squirrel, not the nuts), or staying alive.



Players can choose either Ninja Missions or Survival Missions. Those who choose the Ninja Missions will have, alternately, five different objectives.  Players will either collect acorns, collect a specific color of acorns, collect scrolls, collect acorns and put them in a bag, or loiter in a magic area for a specific amount of time.  Survival missions only require you to continue breathing.  Higher difficulty settings require you to collect more stuff or avoid more numerous enemies.

See video


A Ninja’s Bag of Tricks

Risu is able to take two two items with him at the beginning of each level. I know what you’re thinking: I’ll take the Katana and a sack full of ninja stars. Nope, Nutjitsu is the first ninja game in the history of gaming where the ninja does not fight. This nutless rodent has to make do with 5 different items, which have to be purchased with in game coinage, and may only take two with him. These items are mapped to the A and B buttons.

  • Smoke Bomb: throws the Kitsune off your trail.
  • Shadow Clone: distracts foxes.
  • Freeze Bomb: temporarily incapacitates foes.
  • Flame Shield: grants temporary invincibility.
  • Speed Potion: go-fast for rodents.


You Knew it Was Coming...

Nutjitsu is a perfect example of why porting games from a phone to the XBone just doesn’t fucking work. First off, the screen doesn’t fit the tv. The game is centered in the middle of my flat-screen and only uses about 60% of my tv. Yeah, I bought that big flat screen so I would have a huge black border that gives the illusion of playing a video game on a 20” television that I dropped down a fucking well. Nutjitsu is the first game that can be snapped like an app, which is completely pointless since the gameplay is seriously affected and almost twenty percent of the screen is obscured while it is snapped. Watch me snap my ninja rodent game so I can make it even smaller. Who’s idea was that?

Can anyone out there think of another game where the protagonist picked up collectibles while evading enemies in a maze environment? Maybe I’ll ask my friends: Inky, Binky, Pinky, and Clyde. Apparently, there was an arcade game around in the 80s that resembles this phone game..oh, did I say phone game? I meant next-gen console game: the phone version of this game is free.

See video

I was going to include some of own gameplay into this review, but this game does not allow recording by the XB1’s game DVR. That’s a shame, because you’re missing that one part where I cleared a level in 25 seconds.


Final Verdict


2o2p_RatingSkip.pngNutjitsu is a good looking game, if your eyesight is good enough to actually see it, but it is also a very boring game. The weapons suck, the music might as well be a fucking lullaby, and the one unique feature that the game possesses, the snap, is ruined by not being able to play it while snapped. It’s a perfect Windows phone game, it gives you something to play with when you’re in the bathroom...well, something else to play with anyway. The levels can be knocked down like dominoes, making it a perfect portable to keep the kids occupied in the car or to briefly entertain in line at the DMV, but unless you’re sitting on the can or waiting for a bus, there’s no reason to play Nutjitsu. Download it for free on your phone, but give this Pac Man clone a pass on the console.

The Backlog: Assassin's Creed III

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 08:56 — ChunkySoup

Welcome to The Backlog, where older games we have (but haven’t yet played) finally see the laser light of our disc drives!

This edition looks back at Assassin’s Creed III. Last December a buddy mine took advantage of a Best Buy trade in program and snagged me Assassin’s Creed IV for free. I was ready to play it when I realized I still had AC III in its wrapper. Well I couldn’t very well play the fourth iteration without playing the third now could I? I unwrapped the game with anticipation, plopped it in the Xbox 360 disc tray and settled into my chair.

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In The Beginning...

I always liked the story aspect of the Assassin’s Creed games, even when it gets a little too high and mighty for its own good. I enjoy the gameplay, but I will admit that I despise the collecting aspect of flags, feathers and cryptographic markers. I view those as non-essential elements designed only to extend the length of gameplay, which I have neither the time nor the patience for. By the end of Revelations I was also getting a little tired of Rome and Italy, so I was looking forward to the next chapter set in early America.

Over the course of the adventure you play as three characters: Haytham, Connor and Desmond. The story in AC III started off well and held my interest in the beginning but when Haytham is on the boat I started to become pissed off and frustrated. If that was to be the tutorial at the beginning, it gets a big ass fail. Half the time Haytham would get into an attack stance and refuse to attack, block or even try to break defense. I would have to let myself be killed and start again and again and again.


That “attack stance but do nothing” bug plagued the entire game. I have yet to actually throw a controller during a game, but I got damn close with this one.


Stupid Trees

The game bragged that the animus and, therefore, my controls were streamlined and improved to allow a more free-flowing parkour type transitions between elements. Basically the console tries to make a decision for you about where it thinks you are trying to go to help make the transition between elements easier. Sorry, but nope…didn’t really work. For example, in the forest both Connor and Haytham could run on a downed tree with a clearly placed horizontal branch at the end that both could jump to.


Easy right? Well, almost the end of the tree both would randomly leap 90 degrees to the left or right. So I’d walk back to the beginning and try again. That would almost be okay if more than 50% of the time they would get back on instead of running smack dab into it from every conceivable angle. After a couple minutes of that I gave up and just ran. Running was quicker as I could run the distance in less than half the time it would take me to try and use the trees. The only time I climbed one was:

  1. I needed Haytham to chase after a native lady that eventually becomes Haytham’s lover and Connor’s mom.
  2. Hide from wolves, and bears before jumping down to kill them.
  3. Hide from enemies before jumping down to kill them only because the game made me do it that way.


Stupid Horses

I have a question for Ubisoft: why is riding a horse in this game so damn difficult? Getting on the horse is easy, staying on the horse is easy. Making a small gradual adjustment on the path you are supposed to follow is next to impossible. The smallest movement would see the horse leap into trees and bushes and get stuck. Then, like with the trees, I tried to just run but after dismounting I would get stuck in the same damn trees or bushes, unable to move. Once I dismounted and managed to fall through a wooden dock and could no longer move. I hate restarting a level because of crap like this.

The Desmond, sailing, and hunting missions were pointless. I had to play through the sailing and Desmond missions to finish the story, but neither set added value to the overall game. Thank jeebus hunting was optional, and I exercised that option to the fullest. Yes, I am aware that I could have traded goods for money in which to buy upgraded weapons and such, but I got through the entire game without upgrading or buying anything.




Navigating in the map reminded me of a Disney show my kids watch: “Wizards of Waverly Place”. One episode has the kids play with a magic stick one of them bought out of the back of a wizarding magazine or something (think X-Ray goggles from the back of comic books). They would hold it up to their head and say “transport” beaming themselves three feet away while anyone around them would fall asleep. That was what Fast Travel felt like.
Here are the steps to get from your homestead to New York:

  1. Open the map click the New York Fast Travel icon
  2. Nap while game loads
  3. You were transported to the edge of the map. Turn around and take two steps
  4. Nap while game loads
  5. You were transported 3 feet away but in a new map. Turn around and take two steps
  6. Repeats steps 4 & 5 until you actually get to New York


Roam Where You Want To...

I can respect that Ubisoft wants me to roam and discover the world they worked hard to build, but how about a goddamn option menu? When I click on the fast travel icon please give me the option to go directly to New York without passing Go.

I really needed some inspiration to finish this game, and I found it in a Reddit AMA from one of the former designers/programmers. Reading through the AMA confirmed that I wasn’t entirely alone in my disappointment and it provided some insight to some of the issues within the game. Knowing that others suffered as I had oddly renewed my desire to see it through to conclusion.


The Verdict
In the end, even after all my frustration, it was a decent story, although I would not rank it up as the best of the series. At times it felt as if the entire American Revolution was fought single handedly by Connor, yet I enjoyed the twists with the characters and, overall, I am glad to have completed another chapter in the story.
My goal this year is to finish AC IV by the time AC Unity ships. Wish me luck!.

2o2p Game Review | Trials Fusion

Thu, 05/08/2014 - 06:30 — loki619

Ubisoft and Redlynx are at it again, but this time they’re doing it in high definition, next-gen console goodness. Trials Fusion, is here - at some point we have to stop calling the Xbox One and PS4 ‘next-gen’ because, like Trials Fusion, they are already here. If you haven’t already picked this game up and thrown a controller at your TV, now is the time to do it! Although I wouldn’t truly consider this a next-gen game, as it is still available on the Xbox 360, it’s a great addition to your Xbox One, PC, or PS4 gaming catalog.

See video



The highly addictive and extremely competitive gameplay in Trials Fusion make it such a great diversion to pick up and play a few minutes at a time. You start out on EASY mode, progress to EXPERT mode, and finally slosh your way to THROW YOUR CONTROLLER/STRANGLE YOUR FRIENDS mode where you ride your motorcycle or quad over insanely impossible and outright deadly obstacles while trying to contain your rage. It’s like a Bruce Banner/Hulk Simulator game. You play as quietly and calmly as possible until you hit a jump that has you going over it again and again and again. That’s when your muscles tense up, your man-boobs turn into pecs, you grow a pair, and your voice goes from tenor to bass as you throw insults and curses at your console. Playing beyond that point, you run the risk of your skin turning green, you start to  see red, and you hate and rage on everything. GRRRR!!!!!!! You’ve now turned in to the f-ing hulk and NOTHING CAN CALM YOU AND YOUR RAGE UNTIL you finally clear that jump that’s been calling you a girly-man for the last 15 minutes. When you finally clear that jump, and you’ve screamed ‘HULK SMASH’ a few hundred times, your rage subsides and you’re back to being mild-mannered Bruce Banner.

Jump, flip, clear obstacles with as little to no faults as possible, get the best time. That’s Trials Fusion. A simple enough premise until you actually start riding and experiencing the frustration, err, fun begins...but that’s not the half of it. The real beauty of this game lies in the sense of competition that it brings by showing you each of your friends that has played the game. You see your score and the scores/goals/times for you to beat and the next thing you know, your 5 minutes of casual gaming has turned in to 2 hours of you trying to beat your nearest rival on the easiest course. You can’t stop… You just have to beat the guy that has a 5 second lead over you with 2 faults… but when you do, you’re still not happy because you got a four second faster time with 2 faults so you try again and again and again until you’ve beaten the time with 0 faults. It’s like crystal meth for your video gaming brain - once you start, you can’t stop until you get that next fix. When you get that next fix, you’re pretty much jumping off of walls, both literally and figuratively.

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Here’s a video I did after unlocking Hard Mode



I’ve resorted to calling this game Trials Frustrusion on my Livestreams, because it is just that: A fusion between a fun game and a frustrating game. Fortunately though, the fun outshines the frustration in more ways than one. Just when you’ve mastered the fun, the game throws you a curveball by introducing FMX.  Short for “Freestyle Motocross” or “f-cking motocross sucks balls” depending on your current frustration level. The FMX feature in this game allows your rider to do some really crazy stunts while soaring through the air similar to what players of SSX are familiar with. Now, you’re not just trying to beat your rivals’ times with no faults, you’re also trying to do it with style and class through your insane tricks. Life just really hates you now.

If you’re not too concerned about competing with your friends, you can compete against yourself. Power through all of the tracks then go back and see how many gold medals you can get. When you’re done doing that, don’t forget about the challenges that are present throughout the game. Challenges such as doing x number of backflips while running a course, keeping your throttle on full throughout the entire run, riding wheelies for x number of meters, etc., etc.

Once you’ve challenged yourself, grab a second controller, just because you can, and just because your first controller is probably stuck in your TV. If you seriously thought I was going to say grab a second controller for some head-to-head local action, you were right. You can play multiplayer on Trials Fusion but unlike other games, MP on this is local only so you can have up to four buddies on a couch playing this. Online multiplayer is a feature that Ubisoft/Redlynx has announced that it will add on later as a free update giving us a tease that it will be a completely “new type of multiplayer.”

See video

Think Hard Mode was hard? Try Expert Mode.


2o2p_RatingBuyNow.pngThe Verdict

Trials Fusion is a great game to play if you are tired and just want to kick back for a series of fun challenges. Notice I didn’t say “kick back and relax.” This is not a relaxing game. If you want a relaxing game, go play Call of Duty. Getting spawn-camped in COD is more relaxing than Trials Fusion but it certainly isn’t as fun. For $20 for the game only or $40 for the game and season pass, this is a must have for anyone that wants a departure from their regular gaming habits.

2o2p DLC Review | Star Wars Pinball: Heroes Within

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 23:00 — ErinAS

Zen Studios released their next set of Star Wars pinball tables, Heroes Within,  just in time for Star Wars Day (May the Fourth Be With You). These hit pretty much every OS ever (including Kindle Fire HD? That’s really a thing?  You play games on your “book”?!) on Tuesday April 29th. I got my hands on a review copy of the PS4.


The release was originally slated to only contain 3 tables but they must have had too many great ideas and “as a thank you to fans” ended up shipping 4 at the same price. The bundle costs $9.99 on consoles, or $1.99 per table on mobile devices.  The 4 tables in the pack are Han Solo, Droids, Episode IV: A New Hope, and Masters of the Force. I’ll discuss each one order of preference least to favorite based on some playthroughs.

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First off, anything where you have to listen to C-3PO chatter endlessly is a terrible idea, but at least they have a decent version his voice. In one mode of the game you actually get his head as a golden ball so you get to knock him around a bit while collecting pieces of his body from different spots on the playfield. That kinda made up for his annoying chatter.

This table is set atop a sandwalker that’s actually walking along while you are playing. Which sounds cool in theory but in practice having the sides around the actual table scrolling and flashing is really distracting trying to focus on what’s going on with the ball. It had some cool stuff on the playfield, but with the distracting periphery I’d rather play the other tables.

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Episode IV-A New Hope

Zen is kicking it old school going back to the original movie, retroactively titled A New Hope. It’s nice to see Han, Luke, Leia, and Obi-Wan, but not having the actual actors do the voices is off putting. I wish licensing wasn’t so full of red tape and they could just use actual samples from the movies.

This table, as well as the Masters of the Force, has a light saber based launch, which I don’t like. I know its cool, and fits in the universe, but it just doesn’t have any resemblance to a physical plunger when you launch the ball. It just feels wrong. That’s my virtual pinball pet peeve…

The playfield on this one is pretty short.  There are a bunch of center ramps for different rules as well as an underside mini playfield to make up for the length. With some practice it feels like the skillshot would be really easy since you just have to pick which ramp you plan to head up first. Overall solid but not my favorite of the 4.

See video


Han Solo

This one had potential but the voice acting was even worse with lots of Han lines. Those coming from not Harrison Ford made hurt my brain while trying to concentrate on the game. They did get the look of the Millenium Falcon right, as well as all the other art and toys on the table.

The table features music from the Mos Eisley Cantina and an upper playfield with a shooting gallery of infamous bounty hunters.That was really neat, but I only managed to get into that mode once and promptly missed my shot.  At least I’m not pretending Greedo shot first…

The enter your initials simulated Dot Matrix Display was a neat touch. Instead of just the usual scroll along to pick your letter this one looked more like target practice.

See video


Masters of the Force

I’ll take Yoda and the Emperor over C-3PO any day! This is a really neat table. Its divided down the middle with the light and dark side of the force so even the left and right flippers are different colors (which takes a bit to getting used to). It showcases characters from all 6 episodes of the movie franchise.

I really wish this was an actual table (get on that Stern!). The playfield reminded me a bit of the recent Wizard of Oz (WOZ) table from Stern competitor Jersey Jack.  The upper playfields are in similar spots with similar modes. Also some of the virtual features reminded me of what they are doing with LCDs like the crystal ball on the WOZ table. There’s a cube feature that reminded me a lot of Theater of Magic, so they’re picking awesome real tables for inspiration.

This was by far my favorite and really well done.

See video


Should “Force” Open Your Wallet?

These were 4 very different and very solid tables. I like them all better than anything in the original Zen Star Wars pack and I’m glad they did away with that choose the light or dark side thing when you are actually playing.  Even if you are more of a pinball fan than a Star Wars fan, these are all really fun tables, even ignoring the theme. 

Especially with the bonus 4th table for the same price, I think these are worth picking up for Pinball and Star Wars fans a like!


2o2p Mobile Game Review | Out There

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 06:38 — loki619

From From the publisher that brought you Battlefield comes…uh… uh...

From the publisher that brought you Call of Duty comes… uh… uh…

From Mi-Clos Studios comes the mobile game “Out There.” Whoopeedo!

See video

Your work day starts like this: You arrive at the office for a 9AM meeting. You’re walking to the conference room and get there 10 minutes early. You pull out your phone and say to yourself, “hmm, I can squeeze a quick game in before my meeting. Let me try this new game from Mi-Clos called “Out There.”

You fire up the game and the whole story can be summed up in the 3 minute intro of the game or in the following run-on sentence: You play an astronaut in the 22nd century where “mankind tries desperately to find resources beyond its exhausted planet” and while you were asleep in cryonics aboard the ship Nomad that connects Earth to Ganymed, a moon of Jupiter, “something happened” and you wake up “OUT THERE” (insert ominous, creepy, spacy music here).  By the time you’ve gone through this opening sequence, you turn off your phone and you get to work because your meeting has started.


After the meeting, you decide to pay the Executive Bathroom a visit because your lactose intolerance kicks in from the 10 cups of coffee and milk you drank at the meeting. It’s 10am and you sit yourself down, drop your drawers, pull out your phone and decide to start playing more “Out There.” You pick up where you left off… adrift in space. Before you can get to playing, you have to go through a tutorial that explains all of the game’s elements to you. You pilot a spaceship that is in search of rare elements and you must mine these elements, repair your ship,  mine more elements, craft new technologies that can be beneficial to your exploration, mine even more elements, monitor your ship’s oxygen and fuel levels, mine the most elements you ever thought existed, decide what you will do next and where you will take your ship, and finally, mine elements even more elements than before. By the end of the tutorial, you finally find out that this game also a great “twist a plot” mechanic that allows you to pretty much play a new adventure each time you play or replay it. You wrap up the tutorial and it’s 10:20 am and you realize that you haven’t actually played the game yet but instead, it’s time for you to put away your phone and get back to work.

Lunch rolls in at noon and you grab a bite and your phone. You find a nice place to eat outside under a tree and you start pull out your phone to continue playing. FINALLY, you’re about to play but wait, as you travel to the Dwarf Yellow Star, you get a message saying that on Day 9, you were on a wonderful beach but the whole thing was just a dream and that the reality is that an alarm wakes you to tell you that something’s broken on your ship and that you must fix it. Your drill needs repairing apparently. To repair your drill, you must mine for resources. To mine for resources, you must use your drill. Thankfully you can launch probes that can mine for you. Probe comes back and it’s filled with cargo of Helium. Great, if I only had balloons, I’d be able to throw myself a birthday party. You can’t use Helium to repair your drill so you move on to the next nearest planet. It’s Day 18 and you’re running really low on certain resources. You hope to yourself that the planet you jumped to has them… you launch a probe and nada, so you jump to another planet.


On the way there, you get a notice that it’s Day 27 and a small leak in liquid nitrogen has happened and that it’s too late to do anything about it so you say, “F-ck it, I’ll deal with it when it becomes a problem.” Your ship takes damage. You check your cargo and you have no resources to make the repair so you do what any astronaut would do.: you travel to the next planet hoping that it will have what you need. You get a warning that says that you don’t have enough resources to get there but would you like to risk it? You’ve got no choice at this point. Stay where you are and die or try getting to a new planet and maybe finding what you need. You risk it… That was the end of your journey and that was also the end of your lunch break. Now get back to work, slacker!

Exciting? Not really. This game teaches you about managing your resources while giving you the ability to pick your own adventure. Although that premise had promise, the fact that this is a mobile game is what kills it. Mobile games are meant to be consumed on the fly. Got five minutes in between meetings? Kill some zombies. Fling some birds at pigs. Crush some candy and annoy your friends by asking them to play. The fact that it takes 5 minutes to do anything in Out  There is a big hindrance to anyone enjoying this game. If this game were an Indy or Arcade game on the console, I would be giving it a different review but it is not. It is a mobile game where you play on the go. When you’re sitting down to read and do a tutorial, you’re not going anywhere.

At $3.99 get a coffee, and skip “Out There.”


2o2p Game Review | South Park: The Stick of Truth

Sat, 04/26/2014 - 23:00 — ErinAS

There have been at least 5 South Park games released on various platforms since the late 90s, mostly to mixed reviews. Can the new RPG South Park Stick of Truth finally break their mediocre games curse?

See video


Setting the Scene


I picked up my copy as a physical disc for Xbox 360 (its also available for PS3 and PC). I wish it had been available for next gen systems, just to give my PS4 something to do, but it doesn’t really have any new features that could be improved with new hardware: it’s not like the South Park art style needs updated graphics hardware. I was really annoyed that there wasn’t even a book with the disc. At least give me a map of what button does what so I don’t have to keep googling it as I am learning the game!  Damn kids and your downloads, get off my lawn!


The most recent season (Season 17) of South Park sets up the game. It has a three episode penultimate story arc that parodies Game of Thrones and the video game console wars in an epic Black Friday showdown. You don’t necessarily have to watch these episodes to play the game (I didn’t realize that was a thing and watched them after I played) but they do set it up really well and add to the jokes.


Entering the South Park Universe

The game basically amounts to playing through a 12ish hour episode of the show. There are many references to old episodes and lots of pop culture skewering just like the series. I am a South Park fan, though haven’t kept up with watching regularly since the seasons were in single digits. This wasn’t a problem for getting the jokes, and they brought back a lot of really old references, so I felt like I got most of the inside stuff.

In Stick of Truth you play as The New Kid and join forces with the usual cast of characters from the show. Each kid has chosen a character identity from wizard (Cartman), elf (Kyle), paladin (Butters), to all the other cliches from RPGs.  As with most things South Parks its hard to distinguish where the line between parody and homage truly is.

As New Kid, you get to build your own South Park style image. There were enough options for skin color, hair, etc., that I probably could have made a South Park version of myself. While you can create a character that looks like a girl and give her a feminine name, the story line forces you into a male once you exit the character creator. For my character, I made the South Park equivalent of Trent Reznor. Pro-tip: I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about what to name your character.  


You also choose your class up front and have the options for Fighter, Mage, Thief, or Jew. This determines what special weapons and abilities are available to your character. I played through as a Jew which granted special abilities like circum-Scythe, Jew-Jitsu, and the Plagues of Egypt.


Sights & Sounds & Systems

Probably one of my favorite aspects of the game was the audio. Both the music and sound effects were superb.  They totally ripped off the Skyrim quest notification noises. For the score there were plenty of old favorites to be heard throughout the game like Chocolate Salty Balls, Montage, Kyle’s Mom, and Taco Flavored Kisses (which is now permanently embedded in my brain).  They also seem to have all the original voices (which I guess isn’t too hard since most of them are Stone and Parker). Chef even makes an appearance, so they must have been able to cobble together his dialog from old episodes.

See video

The art style is the same as the show as well. Mostly cartoony but every once in a while full resolution art is hanging in the environments. My favorite was the ad for David Hasselhoff’s nose in Tom’s Rhinoplasty.

The menu system for the game is basically a Facebook parody. You get achievements for gaining friends as you traverse South Park and they post to their walls and you can see it in your feed. Kinda neat but you could only passively interact and not post anything (wait come to think of it I wish a lot more people in my own Facebook feed had that problem!)



While the game was mostly a lot of fun, there were a few things that annoyed me.  

The map was a nice way to see the layout of South Park but I didn’t feel like the markers for missions and other points of interest really stood out. This sometimes made it difficult to figure out where you were supposed to be going next. 

To explore South Park, you enter all the various homes and businesses in the town. Most of the homes have a bathroom and it took about 3 hours before I remembered where the heck the door out of the bathrooms were. It just didn’t seem like the right angle/place you came in. There were also a few bugs, late in the game, where some of the battles no longer had music playing in the background.

Another annoying aspect was the game kept changing my damn clothes (not sure if that’s a bug or a reference to an episode I didn’t see). Your clothes amount to armor so you choose them for abilities. There were at least 3 or 4 missions that changed my clothes on me and then I had to go through a bunch of menus for 5 minutes to redress myself. One time I even lost my black eye, which I had given the character when I created him. WTF?!



The gameplay style is fairly traditional RPG. Its definitely skews to the on rails/short length side. There are a few optional side quest missions like collecting all the Chinpokomon toys (my fav was Velocirapstar) or capturing Man Bear Pig for Al Gore.

As with the story, the game play often makes fun of popular game franchises. You can tell the guys at Obsidian and South Park know their video games. I had to look up what Riposte was as its part of their battle system. Woohoo insult sword fighting a la Monkey Island. There’s also a “Hot Coffee” mission as an homage to the infamous Grand Theft Auto Easter Egg. To  befriend the goths you need to learn to “dance” and similar to DDR there’s a beat match mechanic (with Guitar Hero sound effects if you miss notes) as you drink coffee and smoke cigarettes in time to their music. My favorite slam was their piss take on Bioshock’s audio logs.

See video

The battles are setup so you can use magic, weapons or special abilities. The magic system is based on learning different farting techniques like Dragon Shout or Cup a Spell. These are kinda of a PITA to first learn but once you have it down its not so bad (again an instruction book with my disc would have been nice!). Farts are basically modelled after the Dragon Shouts in Skyrim.

Most of your enemies each only have 3 or 4 attacks, which are funny the first few times but get old after coming up 5 or 6 times in the same turn based battle. I’m pretty sure “Re-prioritizing Task List” from the gnomes arsenal is my own personal best weapon in my real life day job though!

In true South Park fashion this game is not for the politically correct or easily grossed out. In fact, there’s a hidden achievement called Too Far that I don’t think goes nearly as far as the alien abduction, Mr. Slave, or bedroom missions. Much like South Park, this game is only to be enjoyed when the kids are in bed.




So Should You Go On Down to South Park?

This is by far the best South Park video game I’ve played. It’s basically  an interactive episode so I really enjoyed the story and jokes. The battles got a tedious after a while but I guess happens with a lot of RPGs.

If you like South Park just run out and get this now. If you hate South Park, you will hate this game. If you are somewhere in between you’ll probably enjoy it as long as you can stomach the over the top stuff. It's solid but with some bugs, so I’ll give it our second slot with Price Drop.

2o2p Game Review | Shadowrun: Dragonfall

Wed, 03/26/2014 - 13:20 — ElektraFi

The Shadowrun expansion, Dragonfall, released on Steam in February. It is set in the free state of Berlin – headed by Monica Shafer. Naturally, your first mission goes horribly wrong.


If you haven't played Shadowrun previously, you first must create a character and customize to your liking. You may choose between races of either Human, Elf, Dwarf, Ork, or Troll. I personally prefer Elf – as I like to play as tall characters. (I made sure I was as tall as I could be in Final Fantasy XIV.) Afterward, you are tasked with choosing a job, class, or in Dragonfall terms, your “Archetype.” This could be either a Street Samurai, a Mage, a Decker, Shaman, Rigger, or Physical Adept.


Once this is taken care of, customizing the look of your character begins. Unlike other games with this feature, the customization is fairly limited. You are not given much variety here. If you're not wanting to spend too much time here, the game can automatically select a look for you, as well. From here on out, you can customize your stats (physical resistance, quickness, ranged combat, accuracy, etc).

Shadowrun: Dragonfall - Official Trailer (1080p) from Harebrained Schemes on Vimeo.

Life Was Good Until...

The game opens up with your team leader, Monkia, gathering outside of Harfield Mansion. Your mission is to raid a data vault, but naturally, things go wrong when you come upon a military base underground. I hope you don't become too attached to Monika, because she'll be killed as she tries to gain access to the base – but not before she leaves you with a faint message.


My Turn, Your Turn, My Turn, Your...

I was never a huge fan of turn-based combat. Some games handle it better than others. I can manage it at times, but here, I am unable to to maintain my patience. I found myself more concerned (and spending more time) getting my team positioned in the right places, at which point, an obstruction blocks my weapon's fire, forcing me to reposition the team once more. When I finally got the system down, I found it lacking any sort of joy


The combat system is simple, at best.

What's it All About?

The world of Shadownrun is fairly immersive. I found myself more wanting to explore and see what I could find, rather than follow the objectives I had been presented with. I shared the same sentiment when playing the classic Dreamcast title, Shenmue.


Editor's Note: Many thanks to Kevin C. for writing up this review for 2old2play.

2o2p Game Review | Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes

Tue, 03/25/2014 - 06:55 — SarcasmoJones

In Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes Solid Snake makes his jump to next-gen in a stand-alone prequel to the upcoming Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. Does Hideo Kojima’s latest project have the chops to stand with its predecessors in this beloved and venerable series? It took less time than you think to find out.

Changing the Game

MGS vets will notice that a few things have changed since the series jumped to the new consoles. First, Kiefer Sutherland is the new voice of Snake, and he does an admirable job, but it’s still going to piss off the fanboys. Cardboard boxes are also apparently a thing of the past and players actually must be stealthy in a Sam Fisher kind of way: utilizing low-light areas, tall grass, and obstacles. Codec conversations were also omitted this time around in favor of regular radio and cassette player.

See video


Just the Tip

MGS V: Ground Zeroes’ main mission is set entirely in an installation on the tip of Cuba. XOF bad guys, led by a dude named Skull Face, for obvious physical reasons, captured two of Snake’s allies in order to initiate a Trojan Horse attack on Snake’s FOX group. Snake’s mission is to rescue the allies, a boy named Chico and the explosive Paz, and deliver them to safety in time to eat lunch during a UN nuclear inspection of Snake’s mother base. Several side missions, all set in the same installation as the main mission, vary in mission objectives. One mission is a double assassination, one is a rescue mission, and there’s an intel grab. Nothing terribly groundbreaking here.

See video


The Groundbreaking Part

Although the missions have sort of an old hat feel to them, this game is doing some brand new stuff that I have never seen in a video game, and I don’t mean that in a good way. I don’t know how to break this gently to the fanboys, so I’m just going to say it: the game is criminally short. The game is so short, in fact, that it isn’t much more than a demo. I personally have no problem with game demos, until somebody tries to charge me thirty fucking bucks for it...then it’s a problem. Konami is charging thirty dollars for a game where the main mission took me just 61 minutes to complete. Yeah, there’s a handful of side missions, but the play time on those is only 10-15 minutes each. That puts total game time somewhere between 2-3 hours to finish everything.

See video


Something else I have never personally seen in a game is the dev placing himself prominently as a character in one of the side missions. Check this out, Hideo Kojima not only puts himself in the game, but once the mission is over he hangs out with Snake in the chopper on the menu screen and fucks around with the mission list. I’ve seen devs put themselves on posters in Duke Nukem 3D, while Doom 3: BFG had messages from the development team in email form on the marine’s PDA, and even Rare used likenesses of their guys as faces on the bad guys in Goldeneye, but they never put them in a fucking helicopter next to the main character! What kind of egomaniacal dick puts himself in his own game? The good news is that you can kill him.

See video


Sarcasmo Says

The game looks great, the voice acting is top-notch, the graphics are fluid and very smooth, and the story is engaging. However, charging folks $30 for a demo is a classless fucking money-grab and sets a very dangerous and expensive precedent for future games if this kind of thing gains traction. 

Final Verdict

Fuck Hideo Kojima’s overpriced demo and wait for the full game.

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