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WTF?

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 18:38 — Foxytrot

WTF...?

http://www.nerdgirlpinups.com/index/

I am not sure what it is....I am not sure how I feel about it....I am not sure why it is....I am just....WTF?

So....guys....tell me your take

So....gals....tell me your take

Are wives afraid that this is what us gals show up at the LAN like?

Is this what guys would like us to show up at LAN like?

LMAO!!!!

OH! Update: My helix ear piercing turned all red at work yesterday and ballooned up. I was nervous and it was throbbing and stinging and that made me more nervous but I couldn't see any sign of pus so my gf at work said she'd used Spectro Jel on her nipple piercings and I promptly got a bottle of it. Anything good for nipples has GOT to be good for ears, don't ask me how or why I arrived at the determination but I did. I washed the ear up real good (but gentle) last night with the Spectro Jel, took regular aspirins to settle the inflammation and prayed to Jesus to touch and heal my ear while I slept so I wouldn't have to get antibiotics or...cut off the ear (the wounded mind always thinks worst case scenario) annnnnd........all is good. Jesus answers prayer, children. This morning ear and piercing are beautiful. NICE! At lunch however I found myself glancing at my gf to try and determine if I could tell if she had nipple piercings "in" or "out". I learned nothing and figured I was being creepy...so before she noticed and stomped on my face for it...I quit doing it. So...Spectro Jel....it rules....I done told you it so you remember it when you next get pierced.

FanExpo

Mon, 08/30/2010 - 19:54 — Foxytrot

Fast away the old year passes....fa-la-lah-lah...oh whatever.

Anyhoooo. For those of you not interested in my Deadrising escapades.....I have had an exciting week. I got all my hair cut off on Tuesday night. My hair was past my shoulders and now its an uber short pixie. I didn't tell anyone but the hubby of my plans so there were a lot of shocked faces at work. Just glad they didn't tackle me down to the ground, frisk me for I.D. and cuff me up as an imposter or something...oh wait....that could have been fun.

Friday I went to the tat salon and got him to re-open one of my old ear piercings, give me a new piercing because the cutsie-ear-gunner who did it the first time did it horribly WRONG and finally got my helix or upper cartiledge ear piercing. All done with needles. The piercer was impressed and called me a 'trooper". I just didn't want to have to work up the nerve to come back another time. Ha-ha. The two lobe piercings are doing very well, almost healed but....the upper ear....through the cartiledge is giving me some grief. I am told they take longer to heal.

Saturday I went to FanExpo....

The Good:

The line was MUCH faster than last year. We were in within 10 minutes. Excellent. Great improvement over last year's two hours!!!! My brother always buys the V.I.P pass and said this year's swag sucked and he was miffed he had to line up with the lowly others at the top of the stairs whereas last year they had their own entrance and waltzed in (alright, he doesn't waltz but you know what I mean)

I got to see the Kinect. Oh it is cute. It was much smaller than I thought it was. They had two TVs set up. One with a racing game for 2 people, one an obstacle course of sorts for 2 people. My reaction? On one side a bit excited....this technology....as well as the upcoming Move are rank with possibilities. It makes my blood go WHOSH every time I think of the future. On the other side, a tad disappointed because the two demos were very childlike. Kinda like the Xbox Ava. BUT, it is E for everyone and...this is only the beginning. I was gonna hang out and give it a try but that was when I started explaining the Kinect to the hubby and he leaned in to hear me over all the noise and whacked my recently (see above) helix piercing with the poster (see below) and I deserted the area in a panic that my eyes might water or I might squeak because it HURT LIKE HELL. Um...so...

Comics were great. I have a love/hate relationship with comics because I read fast, and usually only once so comics are not a great venue for me. I love them but I read too fast. They are like a box of chocolates, I consume them too quickly. So, while I like them, I have given them up. They take great dedication, to pursue the stories one must be willing and (financially) able. That is why I prefer manga because they are a little longer. But this year I wasn't interested in any manga. Just as well as the crowds were a bit thick so it was hard to see the products on the table, again.

I saw a statue of Marcus Fenix. I wanted it/him. I think he winked at me. I leaned in and I swear he gave me a sexy grimace so I gave him a minxy smile back and reached out to nab him...my boyfriend....only to pause mid way....forty-five dollars? Forty-five dollars!?! For a six inch Marcus Fenix? I paused, I pondered....the smile on his face faded, turned to disappointment...he was poly resin, he was a man's toy. A very artistic and beautifully rendered man's toy and forty-five dollars. I backed away. I didn't get him....but his memory lives on. As I ducked back into the mainstream flow of the people traffic I think a single tear rolled down his scarred cheek. In actual reality...none of the above happened except for my shock at his price.

There were Big Bang Theory t-shirts all over the place, many featuring Sheldon. I had to resist getting one. I knew I would only regret it the morning after. Think Geek is still my favourite for goodies. I do love Sheldon but there is my marital status, my age and of course that fact that he is incapable of a domestic cojoining because...he really is oblivious. Penny...(knock, knock, knock)...Penny....(knock, knock, knock)......Penny...(knock, knock, knock).  Okay that is my Big Bang Theory knock-knock joke...and if your not a fan....well, nevermind.

There didn't seem to be as much anime this year. I am not currently collecting any so it didn't bother me that I couldn't get to these products either.

There were more people of my generation...and some were even costumed up (I am not sure of this development but...more power to them). Steampunk was the obivious trend. Some excellent costumes for that venue but then again - they have their own gathering on Centre Island. Ernest Borgnine looks great. So does Adam West. Bert Ward - looks like the rest of us, overweight, older, just a guy. William Shatner wasn't gonna be there until Sunday. Last year Leonard Nimoy was there for the whole thing...and....he said I was 'sweet'. *blush* I missed the Cat Woman. She was in the litterbox or something. And I had some guy try to sell me children books for my children. GTFO! Somebody is obviously as horrid at determining age as I am. I said my kids were grown and gone and he was embarassed. I moved on.

Aliens on a stick were being carried by everyone! Unity is a wonderful thing and a mass of old and young, tall and small, thin and wide with cardboard Aliens stuck down their backs, (mid wrapping its arms around their heads) was collectively tribal. Beauty.

The Bad:

FanExpo is not the greatest place for gamers. Less so for overly mature female ones. I was constantly snubbed at the few gameplay displays because - they make the assumption I could not be a gamer. Grandmother to a gamer, maybe. Mother of a gamer, maybe. But a gamer girl? No. It is harsh but that has been my reality. I am what most gamers want to be, old but still gaming and a rarer bird because I am a much older female gamer. You never have to give it up and for an old mare like me to still be in the corral, girls are represented across the generations. Yeah...well...there is my little rant about how I feel so alone in a crowded world.

Ubisoft had a lousy booth. What? I mean....when we were there they had a TV (40" maybe) running a trailer for Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, the same one gamers have already seen everywhere. There is a dude on a low stool and when it goes into demo mode he is telling everyone how much more fluid it is, how much faster it is....but he never hands off the contoller (a Playstation controller btw) to anyone to actually try...whimper. Okay, maybe they are just being germ sensitive. Timmy doesn't wash his hands after he tucks his damp wanker into his pants as he comes out of the bathroom and snatches a chance at the demo. Do I care? No, no I don't. Bad Timmy for not having proper hygiene...just give me the flippin' controller and let me take the risks when I eat later. But no....we never get to sample....just watch....just listen.  Next to that is a smaller TV running....oooo....the Assassin's Creed Brotherhood trailer...wait, uh, didn't I just see that right next door? Next to that is two young girls, 8-ish playing some sort of Wii game involving dancing...only one has the chuks but both are dancing and both seem to think they are the single dancer on the screen and they are both singing along to the song. OUTLOUD! Cute for them. They are having a good time. I bail. I am not sugary enough I guess. There is an uncermonious table at the end with some posters of....Assassin's Creed Brotherhood. Does the hubby want one, the young lad asks the hubby-the-non-gamer. Hubby looks at me, I say "No" and hubby nods (huh?) and young lad rolls it up, snaps an elastic around it and...I force the hubby to carry it. (Which was a fateful error on my part: see the above) Why-oh-why is this Ubisoft? Why-oh-why is there no other trailers, no cardboard cut-outs or better yet, cos-players. How about a Big Daddy to freak the crowd. Sigh. Disappointing.

X-box booth was simply the 2 TVs with the Kinect. What? Nothing about upcoming games or exclusives. Sad, sad business my friends. I could have done better - I am not even sure that is a good thing.

So, its over. Nothing to be had but the glimmer of hope for next year. Insert immature response here: Whee-heee! Be there or be square

 

What is up with the hating on Canadians on 2old2play?

FanExpo

Mon, 08/30/2010 - 19:54 — Foxytrot

Fast away the old year passes....fa-la-lah-lah...oh whatever.

Anyhoooo. For those of you not interested in my Deadrising escapades.....I have had an exciting week. I got all my hair cut off on Tuesday night. My hair was past my shoulders and now its an uber short pixie. I didn't tell anyone but the hubby of my plans so there were a lot of shocked faces at work. Just glad they didn't tackle me down to the ground, frisk me for I.D. and cuff me up as an imposter or something...oh wait....that could have been fun.

Friday I went to the tat salon and got him to re-open one of my old ear piercings, give me a new piercing because the cutsie-ear-gunner who did it the first time did it horribly WRONG and finally got my helix or upper cartiledge ear piercing. All done with needles. The piercer was impressed and called me a 'trooper". I just didn't want to have to work up the nerve to come back another time. Ha-ha. The two lobe piercings are doing very well, almost healed but....the upper ear....through the cartiledge is giving me some grief. I am told they take longer to heal.

Saturday I went to FanExpo....

The Good:

The line was MUCH faster than last year. We were in within 10 minutes. Excellent. Great improvement over last year's two hours!!!! My brother always buys the V.I.P pass and said this year's swag sucked and he was miffed he had to line up with the lowly others at the top of the stairs whereas last year they had their own entrance and waltzed in (alright, he doesn't waltz but you know what I mean)

I got to see the Kinect. Oh it is cute. It was much smaller than I thought it was. They had two TVs set up. One with a racing game for 2 people, one an obstacle course of sorts for 2 people. My reaction? On one side a bit excited....this technology....as well as the upcoming Move are rank with possibilities. It makes my blood go WHOSH every time I think of the future. On the other side, a tad disappointed because the two demos were very childlike. Kinda like the Xbox Ava. BUT, it is E for everyone and...this is only the beginning. I was gonna hang out and give it a try but that was when I started explaining the Kinect to the hubby and he leaned in to hear me over all the noise and whacked my recently (see above) helix piercing with the poster (see below) and I deserted the area in a panic that my eyes might water or I might squeak because it HURT LIKE HELL. Um...so...

Comics were great. I have a love/hate relationship with comics because I read fast, and usually only once so comics are not a great venue for me. I love them but I read too fast. They are like a box of chocolates, I consume them too quickly. So, while I like them, I have given them up. They take great dedication, to pursue the stories one must be willing and (financially) able. That is why I prefer manga because they are a little longer. But this year I wasn't interested in any manga. Just as well as the crowds were a bit thick so it was hard to see the products on the table, again.

I saw a statue of Marcus Fenix. I wanted it/him. I think he winked at me. I leaned in and I swear he gave me a sexy grimace so I gave him a minxy smile back and reached out to nab him...my boyfriend....only to pause mid way....forty-five dollars? Forty-five dollars!?! For a six inch Marcus Fenix? I paused, I pondered....the smile on his face faded, turned to disappointment...he was poly resin, he was a man's toy. A very artistic and beautifully rendered man's toy and forty-five dollars. I backed away. I didn't get him....but his memory lives on. As I ducked back into the mainstream flow of the people traffic I think a single tear rolled down his scarred cheek. In actual reality...none of the above happened except for my shock at his price.

There were Big Bang Theory t-shirts all over the place, many featuring Sheldon. I had to resist getting one. I knew I would only regret it the morning after. Think Geek is still my favourite for goodies. I do love Sheldon but there is my marital status, my age and of course that fact that he is incapable of a domestic cojoining because...he really is oblivious. Penny...(knock, knock, knock)...Penny....(knock, knock, knock)......Penny...(knock, knock, knock).  Okay that is my Big Bang Theory knock-knock joke...and if your not a fan....well, nevermind.

There didn't seem to be as much anime this year. I am not currently collecting any so it didn't bother me that I couldn't get to these products either.

There were more people of my generation...and some were even costumed up (I am not sure of this development but...more power to them). Steampunk was the obivious trend. Some excellent costumes for that venue but then again - they have their own gathering on Centre Island. Ernest Borgnine looks great. So does Adam West. Bert Ward - looks like the rest of us, overweight, older, just a guy. William Shatner wasn't gonna be there until Sunday. Last year Leonard Nimoy was there for the whole thing...and....he said I was 'sweet'. *blush* I missed the Cat Woman. She was in the litterbox or something. And I had some guy try to sell me children books for my children. GTFO! Somebody is obviously as horrid at determining age as I am. I said my kids were grown and gone and he was embarassed. I moved on.

Aliens on a stick were being carried by everyone! Unity is a wonderful thing and a mass of old and young, tall and small, thin and wide with cardboard Aliens stuck down their backs, (mid wrapping its arms around their heads) was collectively tribal. Beauty.

The Bad:

FanExpo is not the greatest place for gamers. Less so for overly mature female ones. I was constantly snubbed at the few gameplay displays because - they make the assumption I could not be a gamer. Grandmother to a gamer, maybe. Mother of a gamer, maybe. But a gamer girl? No. It is harsh but that has been my reality. I am what most gamers want to be, old but still gaming and a rarer bird because I am a much older female gamer. You never have to give it up and for an old mare like me to still be in the corral, girls are represented across the generations. Yeah...well...there is my little rant about how I feel so alone in a crowded world.

Ubisoft had a lousy booth. What? I mean....when we were there they had a TV (40" maybe) running a trailer for Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, the same one gamers have already seen everywhere. There is a dude on a low stool and when it goes into demo mode he is telling everyone how much more fluid it is, how much faster it is....but he never hands off the contoller (a Playstation controller btw) to anyone to actually try...whimper. Okay, maybe they are just being germ sensitive. Timmy doesn't wash his hands after he tucks his damp wanker into his pants as he comes out of the bathroom and snatches a chance at the demo. Do I care? No, no I don't. Bad Timmy for not having proper hygiene...just give me the flippin' controller and let me take the risks when I eat later. But no....we never get to sample....just watch....just listen.  Next to that is a smaller TV running....oooo....the Assassin's Creed Brotherhood trailer...wait, uh, didn't I just see that right next door? Next to that is two young girls, 8-ish playing some sort of Wii game involving dancing...only one has the chuks but both are dancing and both seem to think they are the single dancer on the screen and they are both singing along to the song. OUTLOUD! Cute for them. They are having a good time. I bail. I am not sugary enough I guess. There is an uncermonious table at the end with some posters of....Assassin's Creed Brotherhood. Does the hubby want one, the young lad asks the hubby-the-non-gamer. Hubby looks at me, I say "No" and hubby nods (huh?) and young lad rolls it up, snaps an elastic around it and...I force the hubby to carry it. (Which was a fateful error on my part: see the above) Why-oh-why is this Ubisoft? Why-oh-why is there no other trailers, no cardboard cut-outs or better yet, cos-players. How about a Big Daddy to freak the crowd. Sigh. Disappointing.

X-box booth was simply the 2 TVs with the Kinect. What? Nothing about upcoming games or exclusives. Sad, sad business my friends. I could have done better - I am not even sure that is a good thing.

So, its over. Nothing to be had but the glimmer of hope for next year. Insert immature response here: Whee-heee! Be there or be square

 

What is up with the hating on Canadians on 2old2play?

I did it. I beat Deadrising!!! FINALLY!!! Am I happy? Helllllll, yeah babeeeee....and then some.

So...I have slowly been making my way through the game. No, no...I don't mean slowly since 2005....I mean recently slowly. See, I quit this game. Years ago. I got so fed up...so frustrated I just quit it. It gathered dust on my game shelf but...it pissed me off. I have never had a game defeat me until...dun, dun, dunnnnnnn....this ONE. Playing this game - my ears would burn, my blood pressure would rise and while I am not a controller tosser....I think I was so hotly frustrated and angry sometimes you could have lit a candle by just holding the wick to my ass. And even though occasionally I would spy it out of the corner of my eye, I ignored it and let it gather more dust. Avoidence and denial are the two purest forms of cowardice. It still bugged me though...that game...that game that made me quit it. The hubby said "I'll take it to EB Games" as if getting the evil out of the house would free me from it. "No" I would say. No? It was the elephant in the room.

Then it bugged me when I came here and I confessed in 2old2play forum that I had been beaten by a game. Shame, shame. All these years and that damn game was still haunting me. That was when I reached for the box, slipped it off the shelf, blew off the dust, cracked open the case....and BY ALL THAT IS UNHOLY....dropped it into the box....again.

BUT!

THIS TIME I WON!!! Nanner, nanner, nah-nerrrrrrr. Spank my bottom, it'll only make me happier!!! I was suffering a bit...still. Needy victims ("Hold my hand" "Carry me" FRANK!!!") are the bane of the earth but...I saved a few. Sexy Isabella. I am a chick but I am thinking I'd do her. Save. Don't ever forget to save, save, save, save. Then, dash off on an errand only to discover that Boobied Agent went Zombie and ATE the victims I saved. Huh? Save. And Otis buggered off. Save. Dash for the helicopter and if that butt-hole pilot doesn't have an illegal flyer on board so he crashes and burns the bird. No fly out. Shit. Is that the end? Apparently not. Save. When does this end? Save. Then there is sexy Isabella....and her shopping list for the anti-zombie fix. Save. Um...okay....I am a girl and I did kinda enjoy the shopping for the ingredients part. Save. Then you have to get Queens...not the transexual, heavy makeup ones either...oh no....THAT would be tooooooo easy...no we have to gather bugs. Bugs! Fine. So, I whacked a few zombies with the car in the underground, give the fancy bugs to sexy Isabella, save and she mixes her brew and sticks Frankie boy with a needle and my-oh-my if we don't uncover reasons NOT to adopt....hmmm, should send that memo to Bradangelina. Save. Is that the end? Apparently not. Have to wander out through the tunnel and a gazillion zombies with a zombie repellent with 'hold-hands'-sexy-Isabella. Ooooo. Anyway, its easy but still an annoyed roadblock to the end. Get to the end of the tunnel, dammit....I have to carry sexy Isabella....fuck....all of sudden that voluptuous body looks like it weighs too many carbohydrates...but....I do it. I am snotty about it and verbally abuse the innocent TV with a snotfest tirade of foul language. SAVE. Have to steal a jeep....finally....get the girl and get outta town....sounds great. Is THAT the end? Apparently not. Oh no...of course not...and I think a manical laugh escapes me. There is a man and his tank not done with us yet. Sooooo, shoot the tank...ahhhhh, KILL the tank. YEAH. TAKE THAT F*CK'IN SHIT!!!! Is THAT the end? Apparently not. The man is not happy I broke his tank and decides he needs to beat my ass. After a few tries (I explain later) I sissy kick that sick-dick every chance I get and...is THAT the end? Apparently...yes....yes it is!!!! Holy shit!!!

So here are a few explanations. I played the game in short bursts. Waiting for the hubby to get ready to go somewhere....in the morning before work waiting for my hair to dry. Little hiccups here and there. I found if I played it too long my stress levels rose so I avoided that this second time around. The plan was not to let the game own me this time or drive me to another quitting. This time - I would win. I had fun doing Isabella's shopping list - I had to restart once but the second time I just fled from one to the other, snatching them and moving. I thought when I got back that I had already given Isabella 2 queens. Turns out I didn't. I had to nab all 10. I came close once then miserably got killed on my way back. No save...all 10 queens gone. So the next life I divided them into 2 lots of 5 each and it was easy. I ran the tunnel 5 times....because....I didn't realize there was a save on top of the final block. Yes...I felt very stupid. You can flame me...I deserve it for that oversight. I had to do the tank and Brock 3 times. The first time I was clueless. The second time I was trying to see if he had a way of moving and he kicked my ass something fierce, fed me to the zombies and finally snapped my neck. I was only a level 26 (half way to 27) and was depressed because I thought maybe I wouldn't have the skills required to beat him. But...he was weak and I was strong. The third time I just hung out. I didn't attack him. I stayed on the lower portion of the tank and when Mr. Macho just HAD to attack me, as he leapt down I kicked him. Took total, shameless advantage. Then I would leap up and wait...and when he leapt up...I kicked him. A chicken shit strategy and it worked.....quite quickly...before I knew it, it was over....really over.

I beat it. It was 6:30 this morning, my hubby doesn't get up the same time as me so I had to mute my victory dance, my victory screaming and hollaring. Sound was not required to know that I was AWESOMELY happy. Then Frank screams and I thought wtf? Some ending. I felt sorry for Isabella. After all that crap, I was okay with this ending. So he doesn't get the girl....he gets to eat the girl....doesn't he? I sat right to the end of the credits - right to thr very frigging end - where it was abruptly announced that Frank actually made it out of Willamette. Oh really? With evidence. Oh really? But the government covered everything up. Oh really?  And there is no proof you shouldn't adopt (cancel memo to Bradangelina) Oh really? And...no mention of Isabella (likely Frank was still picking bits of her from between his teeth - what? That drug wasn't meant to last forever) And you know what - I don't care - all I care is that I WON!!!

Yeah. Sweet is victory. SWEEEET!!!

Deadrising 2?....*gulp*....I think not....but....I am a gamer....so I just can't say "Never".

I did it. I beat Deadrising!!! FINALLY!!! Am I happy? Helllllll, yeah babeeeee....and then some.

So...I have slowly been making my way through the game. No, no...I don't mean slowly since 2005....I mean recently slowly. See, I quit this game. Years ago. I got so fed up...so frustrated I just quit it. It gathered dust on my game shelf but...it pissed me off. I have never had a game defeat me until...dun, dun, dunnnnnnn....this ONE. Playing this game - my ears would burn, my blood pressure would rise and while I am not a controller tosser....I think I was so hotly frustrated and angry sometimes you could have lit a candle by just holding the wick to my ass. And even though occasionally I would spy it out of the corner of my eye, I ignored it and let it gather more dust. Avoidence and denial are the two purest forms of cowardice. It still bugged me though...that game...that game that made me quit it. The hubby said "I'll take it to EB Games" as if getting the evil out of the house would free me from it. "No" I would say. No? It was the elephant in the room.

Then it bugged me when I came here and I confessed in 2old2play forum that I had been beaten by a game. Shame, shame. All these years and that damn game was still haunting me. That was when I reached for the box, slipped it off the shelf, blew off the dust, cracked open the case....and BY ALL THAT IS UNHOLY....dropped it into the box....again.

BUT!

THIS TIME I WON!!! Nanner, nanner, nah-nerrrrrrr. Spank my bottom, it'll only make me happier!!! I was suffering a bit...still. Needy victims ("Hold my hand" "Carry me" FRANK!!!") are the bane of the earth but...I saved a few. Sexy Isabella. I am a chick but I am thinking I'd do her. Save. Don't ever forget to save, save, save, save. Then, dash off on an errand only to discover that Boobied Agent went Zombie and ATE the victims I saved. Huh? Save. And Otis buggered off. Save. Dash for the helicopter and if that butt-hole pilot doesn't have an illegal flyer on board so he crashes and burns the bird. No fly out. Shit. Is that the end? Apparently not. Save. When does this end? Save. Then there is sexy Isabella....and her shopping list for the anti-zombie fix. Save. Um...okay....I am a girl and I did kinda enjoy the shopping for the ingredients part. Save. Then you have to get Queens...not the transexual, heavy makeup ones either...oh no....THAT would be tooooooo easy...no we have to gather bugs. Bugs! Fine. So, I whacked a few zombies with the car in the underground, give the fancy bugs to sexy Isabella, save and she mixes her brew and sticks Frankie boy with a needle and my-oh-my if we don't uncover reasons NOT to adopt....hmmm, should send that memo to Bradangelina. Save. Is that the end? Apparently not. Have to wander out through the tunnel and a gazillion zombies with a zombie repellent with 'hold-hands'-sexy-Isabella. Ooooo. Anyway, its easy but still an annoyed roadblock to the end. Get to the end of the tunnel, dammit....I have to carry sexy Isabella....fuck....all of sudden that voluptuous body looks like it weighs too many carbohydrates...but....I do it. I am snotty about it and verbally abuse the innocent TV with a snotfest tirade of foul language. SAVE. Have to steal a jeep....finally....get the girl and get outta town....sounds great. Is THAT the end? Apparently not. Oh no...of course not...and I think a manical laugh escapes me. There is a man and his tank not done with us yet. Sooooo, shoot the tank...ahhhhh, KILL the tank. YEAH. TAKE THAT F*CK'IN SHIT!!!! Is THAT the end? Apparently not. The man is not happy I broke his tank and decides he needs to beat my ass. After a few tries (I explain later) I sissy kick that sick-dick every chance I get and...is THAT the end? Apparently...yes....yes it is!!!! Holy shit!!!

So here are a few explanations. I played the game in short bursts. Waiting for the hubby to get ready to go somewhere....in the morning before work waiting for my hair to dry. Little hiccups here and there. I found if I played it too long my stress levels rose so I avoided that this second time around. The plan was not to let the game own me this time or drive me to another quitting. This time - I would win. I had fun doing Isabella's shopping list - I had to restart once but the second time I just fled from one to the other, snatching them and moving. I thought when I got back that I had already given Isabella 2 queens. Turns out I didn't. I had to nab all 10. I came close once then miserably got killed on my way back. No save...all 10 queens gone. So the next life I divided them into 2 lots of 5 each and it was easy. I ran the tunnel 5 times....because....I didn't realize there was a save on top of the final block. Yes...I felt very stupid. You can flame me...I deserve it for that oversight. I had to do the tank and Brock 3 times. The first time I was clueless. The second time I was trying to see if he had a way of moving and he kicked my ass something fierce, fed me to the zombies and finally snapped my neck. I was only a level 26 (half way to 27) and was depressed because I thought maybe I wouldn't have the skills required to beat him. But...he was weak and I was strong. The third time I just hung out. I didn't attack him. I stayed on the lower portion of the tank and when Mr. Macho just HAD to attack me, as he leapt down I kicked him. Took total, shameless advantage. Then I would leap up and wait...and when he leapt up...I kicked him. A chicken shit strategy and it worked.....quite quickly...before I knew it, it was over....really over.

I beat it. It was 6:30 this morning, my hubby doesn't get up the same time as me so I had to mute my victory dance, my victory screaming and hollaring. Sound was not required to know that I was AWESOMELY happy. Then Frank screams and I thought wtf? Some ending. I felt sorry for Isabella. After all that crap, I was okay with this ending. So he doesn't get the girl....he gets to eat the girl....doesn't he? I sat right to the end of the credits - right to thr very frigging end - where it was abruptly announced that Frank actually made it out of Willamette. Oh really? With evidence. Oh really? But the government covered everything up. Oh really?  And there is no proof you shouldn't adopt (cancel memo to Bradangelina) Oh really? And...no mention of Isabella (likely Frank was still picking bits of her from between his teeth - what? That drug wasn't meant to last forever) And you know what - I don't care - all I care is that I WON!!!

Yeah. Sweet is victory. SWEEEET!!!

Deadrising 2?....*gulp*....I think not....but....I am a gamer....so I just can't say "Never".

FanExpo *giggle*

Fri, 08/13/2010 - 19:47 — Foxytrot

I am excited. Next weekend is FanExpo in Toronto. Not this weekend....next!!!

What fun. I love the trip down and taking it in. Love the art and amateur comics. Beautiful stuff. Enjoy the manga, anime, comics, Sci-Fi and Horror, gaming and just all the fun stuff. Even the cos-play is great. Some of those kids put a tremendous amount of care and detail into their costumes. Fabulous job. Seeing some of the various stars in person is....kinda neat. (Got my pic with Leonard Nimoy, tee-hee) It is also pretty trippy to see Darth Vader, Obi Wan and Storm Troopers wandering around.

Last year Dragon Age Origins gave out fabulous blow up swords...mine is still around here....somewhere. (Oh now you know you woulda got one too!)

Last year the line-up was horrible. Past years it was long but progressed fairly quickly. Last year? Nooooo. It was h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e. Hours! Why so? I suspect is it the fault of G4-TV. They have various game review programs, blah, blah, blah and have made appearances with their own booth. But....were pretty much ignored and the booth often had nothing other than their stars standing around so - they have been advertising....what better way to boost your presence then by getting fans of your own out to the show!!! Those (smart) fiends! So every Timmy whines to Mumsy or Dadsy to go and EGAD!!!! They are in the lineup. WTF? They don't belong. They don't. FanExpo is for....fans. Quirky, weirdo, geeky, nerdy, socially inept and frankly quite strange persons. (Okay - a few are normal). But all of sudden there are kidlets with snowboarding hairstyles, texting madly on their cell phones with attitudes of entitlement while - get this - Mumsy holds their place in line. Hellooo...brat....real fans stand in line!!! Then the kidlets whine about the line-up (why is it so long, this is going to take forever, this is so boring, when is the line going to move, I am tired and I am going to sit over there, can I have some money to get a drink, here hold my stuff...endless whimping) and give my hubby and I weird looks - possibly wondering where Grandma (I think that is how they view me) and Grandpa (I think this how they view the hubby) are keeping the Grandkids they MUST have brought.

Uh, no-no. I may not look it....but I do belong here. Honest.

Hopefully this year will be better. The organizers may anticipate that the line-ups will be LOOOOONNNNGGG and adjust to deal with it quicker and more efficiently than last year. Um...yeah. I am purchasing my tickets in advance online. Sometimes - that helps.

Also....Xbox has been an extremely disappointing presence. I don't know who puts together the display at FanExpo but they really need a marketing rehaul and revamp. C'mon, Xbox is cool but for the past 2 years...*yawn*....they've been drab. Playstation kicks their ass. It is shameful. I could do better...really. Maybe it takes fans to speak to fans.

The other minor annoyance is that kidlets won't surrender the demos to....me. They never suspect I am a gamer girl. Little pricks.

Ugh!!! You know what?....I shoulda had a 2old2play T-shirt to proudly wear at FanExpo!!! Doh! Always too late, I come up with these brainers.

 

FanExpo *giggle*

Fri, 08/13/2010 - 19:47 — Foxytrot

I am excited. Next weekend is FanExpo in Toronto. Not this weekend....next!!!

What fun. I love the trip down and taking it in. Love the art and amateur comics. Beautiful stuff. Enjoy the manga, anime, comics, Sci-Fi and Horror, gaming and just all the fun stuff. Even the cos-play is great. Some of those kids put a tremendous amount of care and detail into their costumes. Fabulous job. Seeing some of the various stars in person is....kinda neat. (Got my pic with Leonard Nimoy, tee-hee) It is also pretty trippy to see Darth Vader, Obi Wan and Storm Troopers wandering around.

Last year Dragon Age Origins gave out fabulous blow up swords...mine is still around here....somewhere. (Oh now you know you woulda got one too!)

Last year the line-up was horrible. Past years it was long but progressed fairly quickly. Last year? Nooooo. It was h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e. Hours! Why so? I suspect is it the fault of G4-TV. They have various game review programs, blah, blah, blah and have made appearances with their own booth. But....were pretty much ignored and the booth often had nothing other than their stars standing around so - they have been advertising....what better way to boost your presence then by getting fans of your own out to the show!!! Those (smart) fiends! So every Timmy whines to Mumsy or Dadsy to go and EGAD!!!! They are in the lineup. WTF? They don't belong. They don't. FanExpo is for....fans. Quirky, weirdo, geeky, nerdy, socially inept and frankly quite strange persons. (Okay - a few are normal). But all of sudden there are kidlets with snowboarding hairstyles, texting madly on their cell phones with attitudes of entitlement while - get this - Mumsy holds their place in line. Hellooo...brat....real fans stand in line!!! Then the kidlets whine about the line-up (why is it so long, this is going to take forever, this is so boring, when is the line going to move, I am tired and I am going to sit over there, can I have some money to get a drink, here hold my stuff...endless whimping) and give my hubby and I weird looks - possibly wondering where Grandma (I think that is how they view me) and Grandpa (I think this how they view the hubby) are keeping the Grandkids they MUST have brought.

Uh, no-no. I may not look it....but I do belong here. Honest.

Hopefully this year will be better. The organizers may anticipate that the line-ups will be LOOOOONNNNGGG and adjust to deal with it quicker and more efficiently than last year. Um...yeah. I am purchasing my tickets in advance online. Sometimes - that helps.

Also....Xbox has been an extremely disappointing presence. I don't know who puts together the display at FanExpo but they really need a marketing rehaul and revamp. C'mon, Xbox is cool but for the past 2 years...*yawn*....they've been drab. Playstation kicks their ass. It is shameful. I could do better...really. Maybe it takes fans to speak to fans.

The other minor annoyance is that kidlets won't surrender the demos to....me. They never suspect I am a gamer girl. Little pricks.

Ugh!!! You know what?....I shoulda had a 2old2play T-shirt to proudly wear at FanExpo!!! Doh! Always too late, I come up with these brainers.

 

I have pulled and dusted off my Deadrising game. Yeah....I heard some of you squeak a gasp of horror as in "What would you want to do THAT for?"

When was this game first out? 2005? Anyhoo....I don't remember and too lazy to Google-it...what I do remember is that I surrendered on it. It frustrated the hell out of me and to me - games are suppose to be fun not set me on the path of a heart attack or cause me so much anxiety and pent up anger that I didn't need caffeine to vibrate. I don't know what made me return to the scene of my desertion and defeat...I think its because I don't like any game beating me. Oh sure, I can quit a game because its boring or stooopid but this game...I confess, it beat me. At first I was brave, I would restart because you get to keep your lvl and stats from the old game going into the new game. Sweet. But after that - the limited saves, awkward controls, failures - drove me nuts. I have never had a game that infuriates me or threatens my sanity as thoroughly as Deadrising.

So...what have I learned between then and now? Well....you can't save everyone all of the time. Some of the time....maybe...but all of the time? Good God, NO! I like to be the good guy, the honourable guy, the hero guy (okay, I am a girl but you get my headset, right?) I had to save everyone. Escort them, hold their hand, give them a piggyback for FRIG SAKE!!!! What a putz. Time and again....victims made me want to kill them. Oh...they daddled along, whimped out, wanted to hold hands just to move, hurt their ankles, browse like tourists....what in the name of all that is holy do they think "GO!!!" means???....oh, it was horrible. C'mon. If you played this game - you KNOW what I am talking about. Escort the vic - lose the case - lose the case - oh dammit! You can't lose the cases.

I went back. Back to the game of my shame. I think I half growled, half groaned popping it into the console. BUT....I had a new mindset. I was going to pay attention to the watch and concentrate on the cases. Victims be damned. If you can't take care of your own ass - you just don't deserve to live - weakens the geneset of mankind. I can be a cold bitch in gameworld. Yeah. I went back and was - holy crap - having fun with the game I once hated. People died. Left behind, eaten alive. But dang, I did ALL the caseloads. W00T!!!

However...

A funny thing happened on the flyout from Wilamette, Colorado - the helicopter crashed. Which means, Frank is still in the Mall and...I am in an overtime mode. GRRR!!! Is this EVER over? Just when I was doing good...it leaps out of the water like a flying great white shark and sinks its ugly razor teeth right into my ass cheeks. Ye-ouch!!!

Deadrising 2 is on the horizon. Do I really want to go through all this again...?

There are so many sequel games coming out I am a bit disappointed. If we keep "re-visiting" where we've already been - where is the "Wow!!!" that I crave? I am uncertain what I want to play - what I don't want to play. Tough decisions. Its hard sometimes when its sequels. I don't mean to sound like I am bitchin', even though I am kinda bitchin' - its just for awhile we seemed to be on a gaming roll with graphics and just having developers embrace the next gen and knock'n our gamer socks off. Now its like Hollywood for sequel money grabbing. A trilogy is one thing...but...are some going too far just for the sake of it? I was actually thrilled to be back on the streets of Liberty City in "Liberty City Episodes" and liked the little cameos so...I am guilty. But it gets confusing. I'll take my time and hopefully pick wisely. In the meantime...while waiting....its a great opportunity for me to re-visit the games I already own and like. Like "Indigo Prophecy" and "Bard's Tale", "Knights of the Old Republic" on my Xbox and maybe...."Stranglehold", "Fallout 3" and "Elder Scrolls" on my 360. We'll see.

If...I ever get Frank out of the Willamette Mall, of course....lol

That is basically what I've been up to. I know I have been a bit absent. Summer is short here in the Great White North...and chores and work are long. I think that kinda sums it up.

Oh...I checked out a public, no subscription game site on MaidMarion.com. Sherwood Dungeon. Was it good? Well...it sort of reminded me of WoW in a very mini-WoW kinda way. It didn't hold my attention for long but not because of anything horrible. Just got repeatitive. Its easy to lvl up as much as you want though, particularly handy is the dungeon. This game is not on the grand WoW scale. Its easy to avoid ganking - every doo-doo-head that pulled it on me I deliberately and quickly switched my clothing colour to the same as theirs...hahahaha...what buttholes, slashing away at me, confused why it did no harm. Dumdums. Ummmm...sorry if that was you. Ahem. Yeah. I loved that duels didn't gain you pp. Ooo, that sounds weird. PP like in experience, not peepee (like you were so scared you wet yourself) This wouldn't work in WoW BUT it was nice not to have to worry about having your ass beaten over and over and over and over and over again by a lvl 75 when you are a lvl 15 because....well, simply because they can and they get Exp for it so your easy pickin's. Accept it, live it, move on. Yeah - that really made my WoW experience a happy one. *sniffle* And I really loved it when they camped on my corpse in WoW. Just to be annoying I used to repeatively jump my mutant ostrich over their heads until it pissed the crap out of them...uh...ummm...sorry if that was you.

I also have to confess that I've been checking out Big Fish Games. Whaaat? Don't give me any grief cause it'll just be wasting your air. I liked the Myst series...I liked Siberia...and I liked The Longest Journey (and wish they'd finish it!). Big Fish Games has an assortment of hidden object and puzzle games that are not on such a grand scale as those games but they're fun and easy to play when you just wanna pass some mindless time. Like...watching TV and gaming...or....pretending your paying attention to a mundane conversation while gaming, talking on the phone while gaming. Oh, you know. The big disappointment for me - they only have iPhone games thus far. They don't mention if they are Android compatible - I suspect not - otherwise putting them under iPhone alone seems - I dunno - silly? I have a Dext. I am not sure if we like each other yet. What I haven't found - is a really decent game for it. I like at least one or two games on my cell phone to pass time in waiting rooms. It came with a demo for "You Want to Be a Millionaire". Its not much fun. Trivia. Easy trivia. Must be for Everyone. Anywayyyyy. I downloaded a car racing game. So cute, uses tilt to control it. What? I am a girl, I can call a game a cute.

A recent self-realization: Playing Sherwood Dungeon I was accosted by a character asking me to join his clan. He seemed pretty cool so I promptly went over to the clan's room to check out the clan before I joined up. I'd been nailed a few times in WoW with poor fits at the beginning and finally rewarded with a good guild. Back to Sherwood: I was a lowly lvl 17 still new to it all and Mr Clan-Solicitor promised that I would receive "training". Cool. I get to the room and there are about 10 people there. Awright. Telling farting jokes. WTF? Soooo, I kinda introduce myself and one of them immediately wants to beat my ass. I tell him I came on the promise of training so if the ass whupping is just for the sake of it...pass...if its gonna be instructional...I am "in". Well...it was for the sake of it. When I kept switchin' colours to match him so he could do "no harm" he starts whining. Whining? So...I opened my big mouth...okay, my big "text" mouth and asked him how old he was...he replies: 19. He says. The guy next to him pipes in he is 11. 11? He ain't suppose to be playing at all. Ha-ha. So, I said "Dude, you must have lied to get on here if your 11". That was about when Mr. 19 announced he was "The Leader" of the clan and I realized the 11 year old made better sense and The Leader demanded to know if I was going to join the clan or not. Hang on, hang on. No rush. I was in a snotty mood after his trying to beat on me and I said that so far I wasn't impressed and if I was going to join a clan I wanted to see something as an incentive to joining up. I am selfish. I wasn't expecting cash or first-borns...just something that made it worthy for me to join. So The Leader says "Who are you to come here to judge us?" Huh? I pointed out that I was invited to come on by to evaluate the clan. Liiiike, if I thought that I wanted to join the clan...which means...I have to judge if I want to, if I think they are a good fit for me and if I am a good fit for them kinda stuff? Doesn't it? Anyway, the 11 year old promptly says "She is smart, she should join us" Anyway....I think I am a grouch and am not cut out for clans. I want to save the world and they want....to talk about farting and how goofy they can dance and...ahhh crap....I am old. My moment of truth.

I have pulled and dusted off my Deadrising game. Yeah....I heard some of you squeak a gasp of horror as in "What would you want to do THAT for?"

When was this game first out? 2005? Anyhoo....I don't remember and too lazy to Google-it...what I do remember is that I surrendered on it. It frustrated the hell out of me and to me - games are suppose to be fun not set me on the path of a heart attack or cause me so much anxiety and pent up anger that I didn't need caffeine to vibrate. I don't know what made me return to the scene of my desertion and defeat...I think its because I don't like any game beating me. Oh sure, I can quit a game because its boring or stooopid but this game...I confess, it beat me. At first I was brave, I would restart because you get to keep your lvl and stats from the old game going into the new game. Sweet. But after that - the limited saves, awkward controls, failures - drove me nuts. I have never had a game that infuriates me or threatens my sanity as thoroughly as Deadrising.

So...what have I learned between then and now? Well....you can't save everyone all of the time. Some of the time....maybe...but all of the time? Good God, NO! I like to be the good guy, the honourable guy, the hero guy (okay, I am a girl but you get my headset, right?) I had to save everyone. Escort them, hold their hand, give them a piggyback for FRIG SAKE!!!! What a putz. Time and again....victims made me want to kill them. Oh...they daddled along, whimped out, wanted to hold hands just to move, hurt their ankles, browse like tourists....what in the name of all that is holy do they think "GO!!!" means???....oh, it was horrible. C'mon. If you played this game - you KNOW what I am talking about. Escort the vic - lose the case - lose the case - oh dammit! You can't lose the cases.

I went back. Back to the game of my shame. I think I half growled, half groaned popping it into the console. BUT....I had a new mindset. I was going to pay attention to the watch and concentrate on the cases. Victims be damned. If you can't take care of your own ass - you just don't deserve to live - weakens the geneset of mankind. I can be a cold bitch in gameworld. Yeah. I went back and was - holy crap - having fun with the game I once hated. People died. Left behind, eaten alive. But dang, I did ALL the caseloads. W00T!!!

However...

A funny thing happened on the flyout from Wilamette, Colorado - the helicopter crashed. Which means, Frank is still in the Mall and...I am in an overtime mode. GRRR!!! Is this EVER over? Just when I was doing good...it leaps out of the water like a flying great white shark and sinks its ugly razor teeth right into my ass cheeks. Ye-ouch!!!

Deadrising 2 is on the horizon. Do I really want to go through all this again...?

There are so many sequel games coming out I am a bit disappointed. If we keep "re-visiting" where we've already been - where is the "Wow!!!" that I crave? I am uncertain what I want to play - what I don't want to play. Tough decisions. Its hard sometimes when its sequels. I don't mean to sound like I am bitchin', even though I am kinda bitchin' - its just for awhile we seemed to be on a gaming roll with graphics and just having developers embrace the next gen and knock'n our gamer socks off. Now its like Hollywood for sequel money grabbing. A trilogy is one thing...but...are some going too far just for the sake of it? I was actually thrilled to be back on the streets of Liberty City in "Liberty City Episodes" and liked the little cameos so...I am guilty. But it gets confusing. I'll take my time and hopefully pick wisely. In the meantime...while waiting....its a great opportunity for me to re-visit the games I already own and like. Like "Indigo Prophecy" and "Bard's Tale", "Knights of the Old Republic" on my Xbox and maybe...."Stranglehold", "Fallout 3" and "Elder Scrolls" on my 360. We'll see.

If...I ever get Frank out of the Willamette Mall, of course....lol

That is basically what I've been up to. I know I have been a bit absent. Summer is short here in the Great White North...and chores and work are long. I think that kinda sums it up.

Oh...I checked out a public, no subscription game site on MaidMarion.com. Sherwood Dungeon. Was it good? Well...it sort of reminded me of WoW in a very mini-WoW kinda way. It didn't hold my attention for long but not because of anything horrible. Just got repeatitive. Its easy to lvl up as much as you want though, particularly handy is the dungeon. This game is not on the grand WoW scale. Its easy to avoid ganking - every doo-doo-head that pulled it on me I deliberately and quickly switched my clothing colour to the same as theirs...hahahaha...what buttholes, slashing away at me, confused why it did no harm. Dumdums. Ummmm...sorry if that was you. Ahem. Yeah. I loved that duels didn't gain you pp. Ooo, that sounds weird. PP like in experience, not peepee (like you were so scared you wet yourself) This wouldn't work in WoW BUT it was nice not to have to worry about having your ass beaten over and over and over and over and over again by a lvl 75 when you are a lvl 15 because....well, simply because they can and they get Exp for it so your easy pickin's. Accept it, live it, move on. Yeah - that really made my WoW experience a happy one. *sniffle* And I really loved it when they camped on my corpse in WoW. Just to be annoying I used to repeatively jump my mutant ostrich over their heads until it pissed the crap out of them...uh...ummm...sorry if that was you.

I also have to confess that I've been checking out Big Fish Games. Whaaat? Don't give me any grief cause it'll just be wasting your air. I liked the Myst series...I liked Siberia...and I liked The Longest Journey (and wish they'd finish it!). Big Fish Games has an assortment of hidden object and puzzle games that are not on such a grand scale as those games but they're fun and easy to play when you just wanna pass some mindless time. Like...watching TV and gaming...or....pretending your paying attention to a mundane conversation while gaming, talking on the phone while gaming. Oh, you know. The big disappointment for me - they only have iPhone games thus far. They don't mention if they are Android compatible - I suspect not - otherwise putting them under iPhone alone seems - I dunno - silly? I have a Dext. I am not sure if we like each other yet. What I haven't found - is a really decent game for it. I like at least one or two games on my cell phone to pass time in waiting rooms. It came with a demo for "You Want to Be a Millionaire". Its not much fun. Trivia. Easy trivia. Must be for Everyone. Anywayyyyy. I downloaded a car racing game. So cute, uses tilt to control it. What? I am a girl, I can call a game a cute.

A recent self-realization: Playing Sherwood Dungeon I was accosted by a character asking me to join his clan. He seemed pretty cool so I promptly went over to the clan's room to check out the clan before I joined up. I'd been nailed a few times in WoW with poor fits at the beginning and finally rewarded with a good guild. Back to Sherwood: I was a lowly lvl 17 still new to it all and Mr Clan-Solicitor promised that I would receive "training". Cool. I get to the room and there are about 10 people there. Awright. Telling farting jokes. WTF? Soooo, I kinda introduce myself and one of them immediately wants to beat my ass. I tell him I came on the promise of training so if the ass whupping is just for the sake of it...pass...if its gonna be instructional...I am "in". Well...it was for the sake of it. When I kept switchin' colours to match him so he could do "no harm" he starts whining. Whining? So...I opened my big mouth...okay, my big "text" mouth and asked him how old he was...he replies: 19. He says. The guy next to him pipes in he is 11. 11? He ain't suppose to be playing at all. Ha-ha. So, I said "Dude, you must have lied to get on here if your 11". That was about when Mr. 19 announced he was "The Leader" of the clan and I realized the 11 year old made better sense and The Leader demanded to know if I was going to join the clan or not. Hang on, hang on. No rush. I was in a snotty mood after his trying to beat on me and I said that so far I wasn't impressed and if I was going to join a clan I wanted to see something as an incentive to joining up. I am selfish. I wasn't expecting cash or first-borns...just something that made it worthy for me to join. So The Leader says "Who are you to come here to judge us?" Huh? I pointed out that I was invited to come on by to evaluate the clan. Liiiike, if I thought that I wanted to join the clan...which means...I have to judge if I want to, if I think they are a good fit for me and if I am a good fit for them kinda stuff? Doesn't it? Anyway, the 11 year old promptly says "She is smart, she should join us" Anyway....I think I am a grouch and am not cut out for clans. I want to save the world and they want....to talk about farting and how goofy they can dance and...ahhh crap....I am old. My moment of truth.

Oh my. I cracked the box on Thursday night...played on Normal mode....finished early Saturday evening. Say whaaaat? I played on Thursday evening, an hour on Friday morning, for a bit Friday night and then Saturday. Right before dinner, the hubby sits down next to me to wait for me to save and shut down...only....instead he got to watch the end. Yeah, THAT short. Sad.

My other problem with Alan Wake? Very predictable ending. Alice gets kidnapped and you see a scene in which she is being dragged down to the murky depths and I suspected the end. I say 'suspected' because....well, it just couldn't be that predictable...could it? Yes. Yes is could and it ultimately was and the further I got into the game the more I realized exactly where it was heading and the more disappointed I was in the ending. Understand this, it wasn't a horrible ending. Its just that I was disappointed that it was so obvious so early on - which kinda spoils it a bit.

See, my gut told me I was in trouble at the very beginning. There is a quote - from Stephen King. Huh? I am sorry. If I spent money developing a game with a main character that is a famous writer with writer's block - I'd come up with some profound quote of his....not Stephen King. Anyway. Seeing that quote gave me an "Uh-oh" moment and I should have known right then...uh-oh. I am not a great Stephen King fan. Personally not my cup of tea. I find his books too predictable. I will start and know exactly where its going, think "it could be different, with a twist" but no, it always ends just like I thought. So I don't read him anymore. Now his presence looms over me at the beginning of a game. Disappointment with a sigh and a head shake.A lot of people like that sort of story though...Mr. King is famous after all...however, I don't. I like challenges, not gifts I guess. But seeing that Stephen King quote and then having a premonition so early in the game of how it ends...I guess it all fits in some weird-not-paranormal way that it was predictable and no surprise when I finally got there.

I spoil movies too. Cause I have the same problem with them. My husband, luckily, thinks its remarkable but I don't really like it.

My major problem with Alan Wake wasn't that though. It is slow. I mean the physics. I would be moving too quickly, trying to kill too quickly and it was so sluggish in comparison to my thinking ahead. So slow for a 360 game. Its like it couldn't keep up with me so often I had to keep hanging back on the action. You can't get at it like you want to. Its like a body you want to sling over your shoulders and hump forward. The controls just aren't that tight. Not bad,  they're very simple but just not tight enough that you can go into a speedy killing spree. No. Nothing is fast. To its credit, it won't get all tongue tied over your speed and commit a glitch suicide or freeze up. Sweeeeet and thank you. Its frustrating though. You wanna sprint it and move and...no, no...can't do that. Just not engineered for it. Frustrating. Now, I did play it on Normal mode, I don't know if I played it on the higher settings if it speeds up any. Always a possible but....wtf?

And its dark. No, not scary gothic or satanic dark. I mean visually dark. I thought over and over again of the eyestrained blood red eyes I experienced with Doom 3 and Condemned: Criminal Origins. NO! Dammitt, Remedy! Maybe it is because I am an adult playing a Teen rated game that I am missing the experience. To me, darkness isn't scary or creepy, its maybe - cautious. Cautious isn't scary or thrilling for that matter. I expect things to "startle" me, more so in the dark. A  5 year old popping up suddenly and yelling "Boo" can startle me but thats it. Startling me, isn't scaring me. So, I fail immensely in games that use darkness because its soooooooo obvious that something is lurking right? Right. *yawn, zzzzz" A thriller aught to offer a little more. Its the aniticipation, the psychological torture and dread for me...darkness? Nah. Not so much. So its more annoyance when once again a game uses it.

Wait...maybe it is using it as a disguise. "Why Foxytrot, whatever do you mean?"

Remember Max Payne? I do. I love Max Payne. I go back and replay Max Payne on occasion. Nice, vintage game on my old xbox. Lots of fun. I loved the graphic novel effect. It was fun. Well, Alan Wake doesn't look much different. It has a retro xbox feel not a next gen graphic feel...not a 360 feel. I could almost imagine I was back on my xbox because that is what this game feels and plays like. It isn't cheesy exactly but something is missing. It is like between Max Payne, Max Payne 2 and Alan Wake - Remedy never got better. This reminds me more of adventure or hidden object games available online. The graphics don't suck - they just don't deliver for the price and the competition or for the capablity of the latest platforms. So take some so-so graphics and pit it all in a world you hardly have to colourize or fully light and yep....could be the darkness is a disguise.

Is there anything I liked? Yes. It isn't a bad game. It is very, very much a teen game so it has the right rating. Its humour is for the most part for the younger people, its storyline isn't quite anything new.  It actually has a comfortable feel because it is so familiar. Areas are extremely limited in how you can explore or interact with them so you stay on track with the story and don't sidetrack with quests. Sometimes, that is a bit disappointing but it is what it is. You can't really get lost. I think there are a lot of young people or young at heart who will simply love this game. Me? I guess I am tainted and looking for games to step up and impress me a little more.

Voice acting is good, soundtrack is very nice. It just always steps to the line but just never jumps over it. I don't know what that is, or why that is. Alan Wake was certainly in development for long enough to come out of the gate and bowl me over - so, I don't know if it has a problem. If I was 14, I think I'd love it. But I am not 14 so its not love, like, but not love.

Um, so that is all I have to say. I could say a lot more...but that is all.

The differences between Zombies and the Fallen: A retrospect from having experienced both:

1. I have always made the presumption that Zombies smell bad. The Fallen - not so much. Dead and rotting in comaprison to dark but surprisingly clean? C'mon. We know who stinks.
2. Zombies come in a variety pack of genders, backgrounds and racial groups (although Asians are grossly under-represented). Fallen are white males and primarily represent blue collar workers. Zombies dress in variety of colourful fashion. Fallen are all in the same hood, all shopping the same store. There are no fashion icons amongst the Fallen.
3. Zombies are relatively quiet, conversation is limited, dialogue limited to moans, groans or silence with the exception of Fallout 3 where a type of zombish humanoid are extremely articulate (must be the radiation effect). Fallen however, are chatty Cathys, dialogue is selfishly one way, naggingly repetitive and bordering on verbal abuse. They don't call you "stupid" but they dole out advice with such arrogant supremency that you know they're just thinking it. Loudly proclaiming "Shuddddup, I don't wanna hear about it" often precludes their demise - or - maybe that is just me.
4. Zombies are...messy. You have to hack them up, slash them to gooey pieces, smear them between vehicle and pavement, mush them with heavy objects, set them on fire (ok, that is more smelly than messy) and for all the blood splatter...one or all methods still don't guarantee they're dead...oops, re-dead. Fallen? Very clean. Shine the smallest flashlight and they 'snap, crackle, pop' in proud Kellog fashion. And at the 'pop' you shoot 'em dead and they....vanish. No gore, no guts, no goo. Simple clean slaughter. Oh that thrills the tidy housewife in me.
5. Zombies like finger food. They rip and shred you or simply knock you over to chomp happily on your brain. Fallen are sneaky bastards throwing sickles and knifes, usually when your back is turned and your cowardly running away...um...I mean looking for batteries.
6. Christmas lights will prevent a Fallen huggin' on yah. Might still throw deadly things at you but it won't be hump-loving on you. Whew. Zombies? There really isn't anyway to repel or gross out a rotting hideous ex-human corpse. Sorry.

 

 

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