The sweet smell of plasma

I've been playing Xbox for a couple years, but never online.  I just quit smoking so I needed something to keep me busy for a while.  I had an Xbox Live trial so decided to try it out.  As of this post, I don't have a headset or clan, but for posterity I'm going to document why I will soon..

This is an account of a recent Halo2 2v2 match:

To start, I quickly find a second SMG and run towards a spot where… I died.  Ok, lucky shot, now back to finding a spot where I can look arou… damn it, dead again.  Wow, I really need wake up here.  Ok, I back into a corner so at least… hey look at the pretty glowing ball… shit! dead.  The preceding took place within just a few seconds.  I had barely fired a shot before dying 5 times.  The random partner assigned to me was suffering a similar fate and so decided to bail.  pansy.  I, on the other hand, was determined to not experience a skunking. 

The next few minutes went pretty much the same, but I was surviving longer and longer.  I was obviously outclassed and outnumbered but was learning.  Also, I had been noticing that the enemy would often go into a sputtering kind of seizure after killing me.  Odd.  I paid more attention to it and figured out he was doing a crouch, stand, crouch, stand, and repeat maneuver… on my… head… son of a bitch! He’s killing me like I’m a plaything and then teabagging my dead body!

The kill score is around 15-0 at this point.  Finally, a good grenade throw gave me a kill (it killed me too, but that’s not the point).  Now I knew they were mortal and there would be no skunk.  My new goal: vengeance. 

A few minutes later, I see one of the assholes running across an open area.  I toss a grenade at him.  He runs right through the blast like the fucking Terminator, but I know he’s damaged.  In a game of chicken we now run at each other, SMGs blazing.  He whips out a sword and I’m milliseconds from receiving another deathblow when at last, he falls at my feat.  Victory.  I teabagged this fucker right in the middle of the open area and it felt good.  So good.  Now, a red blip is quickly approaching behind me.  I’m still damaged and out in the open so any shot would silence me, but this cocky bastard wants to get personal.  He had come to collect revenge for his fallen partner… but all he found was the butt of my gun.  Double-kill, BEOCH!

My joy faded quickly as I looked at the score.  Apparently, I suck.  That is a sobering realization. My enemies put on their A-game after that and so the final score was 28-3.  This is a lot of fun, but I need to find some like minded and like skilled folks to hangout with.