Christmas woes and joys

It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I'm already worrying about Christmas. My 4-year-old daughter has a list a mile long and expects Santa to bring her everything she wants. She doesn't understand that "Santa" just can't give her everything she wants. My Step-daughter wants a 360 and Guitar Hero roman numeral something and an electric guitar. My boy wants several games, a new airsoft gun, and something else I can't recall at the moment.

Why is it that I'm always strapped for cash just as the xmas season approaches? <sigh> No bonus this year definitely isn't any help.

On the bright side, I'm looking forward to all the Christmas music, (country chrstmas music, of course), and watching "A Christmas Story" and "A Christmas Carol" with my daughter. Oh, and I can't forget "Franklin's Christmas." Also, every Christmas Eve the two of us go outside and watch for Santa. She'll call out into the night "Santa", her eyes just a sparkling, and my heart nearly explodes with joy. Oh the innocence of a child. Who couldn't love it? Too bad they grow up, huh?

Anyone else have any worrys or joys concerning the upcoming holidays?

Plant shutdown

I just found out yesterday that my company is shutting down for two weeks after our Christmas party on Dec. 18. Luckily, since I'm the warehouse supervisor, I'll be needed for inventory and will only lose one to days of work, but it still concerns me. We've only been working four days a week (32 hours) for months now, and now this. I don't think the company is hurting too bad, at least not to the point of closing its doors for good, but I am worried about my fellow employees. When things like this happen, people begin questioning the employer. They think (a) the employer is hurting and close losing its ass, so I better find another job, or (b) the employer doesn't give a shit about me, I better find another job.

We're already running on a skeleton crew. We've had people leave, and since sales are down, they haven't tried replacing anyone. Four more are planning on leaving within the next month or two, and there's no plans to replace them, either, at least not until business picks up. I'm afraid if we lose too many people they'll shut our location down and just move everything to their corporate location. It's scary times. Jobs that I'm qualified for were scarce two years ago before the economy completely went to hell. And people like me don't get severance packages, so if I lose my job I'm screwed until I find something else.

Hopefully everything will start turning around next year. I don't know, though. Car dealers are one of our biggest customers, and with the big 3 looking like they  might go under I'm afraid it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Active imagination

An active imagination is a good thing to have, especially for a writer, or any creative endeavor for that matter. But it's not always a good thing when you're a parent. My 4-year-old daughter has been sick the past few days and running a fever. That in itself isn't anything unusual, but last night she was complaining that her side and her head hurt. Thisweekend at my mom's house she fell and bumped her head and hurt her side, but that was four days ago.

Several scenarios began playing through my mind today while I was at work worrying about her. Maybe her head was swelling inside and causing damage to her brain. Maybe her appendix was about to burst. She had a doctor's appointment at 1:30, and she was at home with my wife, so I knew if there was anything wrong my wife would let me know, but still my imagination insisted on tormenting me. I could see myself coming home for lunch and asking my wife how Trinity was doing. She said fine, she was asleep on the couch. When went in to check on her (still my imagination) I find that she has choked on her own vomit because her appendix had burst. There are other scenarios, but I'd rather not get into them. You get the idea, though.

God! You can't imagine the relief I felt when I did go home for lunch to see her smiling face. I must have hugged her ten times before i went back to work.

A part of me hates myself for thinking such things, but I really didn't have any control over it. I tried to lose myself in my work, but I just couldn't stop worrying. I know worry is normal, but what about the vivid images that refused to go away? Then I was being haunted by Stephen King's Pet Semetary. I haven't read that book since I was like fourteen or fifteen, but that book scared the shit out of me. Now that I'm a parent, that fear has become more real. I can't imagine loosing my daughter; well, maybe that's the problem, I can imagine it just a little too well. Let me rephrase: I can't imagine having to go through it and somehow surviving and retaining my sanity. I just pray I never have to find out.

Oh, BTW, doctor said she is fine. It's just a virus that's going around. Nothing wrong with her head, no appendicitus. Thank God.

No nice way to say it.

Doing some writing this morning and getting very frustrated. Between three thesauri and two dictionaries I can find very few nice terms to describe a chubby woman, especially a beautiful chubby woman. 95% of the terms are mean and depict a nasy, disgusting, or ugly person. Are we, as a society, really so narrow minded that heavy people, women in particular,  just cannot be seen as attractive? Do you have to be thin to be beautiful? I don't think so, but am I the only one? I see a lot of heavy women that are more attractive than a lot of thin women. I just don't think size is relative to beauty.

I blame Hollywood and the fashion industry.

J-cat's challenge

You were the first to pop into mind, Lux. I knew you wouldn't take it personally.

I've been playing Call of Cthulhu: Dark corners of the Earth lately, which is what inspired this.

"Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn," Lux chanted as Halloween's full moon reached its apex.

His neck split open on either side in the formation of gills. His skin grew cold and slimy, and his fingers and toes elongated into tentacles. He was a god among simple men, and his will would finally be done. The oceans were now his to protect, and his to command. At long last, the Ancient Ones would return.