The Impact of Being a Gaming Parent

We’ve all heard it before, “Video games are bad for kids”. The press, some celebrities, religious leaders and of course politicians want to blame events and actions of our children on video games. This is our opportunity as gaming parents to prove them wrong.

Video games mean so much more for parents. Being a gaming parent means more quality time with our children and more sharing. It gives us insight to what our children enjoy and gives us control over what our children do.

Although I was a gamer when I was a child and young adult, I lost touch with the gaming world until after my son was born. I am the mother of a 16 year old son. Being close to my son has meant stepping into his world and enjoying what he enjoys.

My son’s gaming began on a used Nintendo 64 at around the age of eight. His games of choice then were Banjo-Kazooie and Super Mario 64. It had been years since I picked up a console controller. I played badly at first but I would sneak into his room at night while he was asleep to practice and hone my skills. His gaming time was limited because he was young and reading and learning were more important at his age; each night we would play for an hour and on weekends a couple of hours per day. We would take turns on the controller. I would usually only play if he was having a hard time getting through something. We each would have our attempts at defeating the unbeatable bosses. I shared in the excitement when after 20 grueling tries he would finally beat a level or boss and I would bask in the hugs, kisses and pride when I beat a level or boss he could not defeat. And yes I even spent late nights while he slept looking for hints and walk-throughs.

After a few years on the Nintendo 64 and a few years older his attention was set on the Nintendo Gamecube. His first love on the Gamecube was Luigi's Mansion and then The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Shortly thereafter it was the Xbox and PS2. His favorite game on the Xbox was Halo: Combat Evolved. I watched him play campaign and shared in his triumphs and then the ominous question came “Mom, can I play online?” This was my time to shine as a parent. My answer; “Get the other controller.” We hooked up to Xbox Connect and with some of my son’s friends and were live within minutes. At first we created or joined rooms where only my son’s friends and a couple of their parents could play. Then together we ventured in to the world of multiplayer with unknown rivals. Sometimes we would get profane kids but they would be booted from the party immediately. I was REALLY bad at first. I had never actually played campaign with my son; just watched. My son and his friends constantly called me a “noob”. I practiced for hours at night just to be able to look up and walk at the same time. My skills and enjoyment of the game began to increase. My son would have his friends over and we would all play Halo until the wee hours of the night; laughing, giving each other high fives, eating junk food and ribbing each other if we died too quickly. On one of those nights my defining moment came that proved me a gaming parent. A kid we had been playing with was talking “smack”. Nothing profane just the normal stuff like “you suck” and “I can beat without trying” and “my dad could beat you”. My son, bless his heart, says “Dude my mom can beat your dad.” What? No pressure here! The kid gets his dad on and he and I exchange hellos and then game on. My heart was pounding, my palms sweaty and the boys were cheering for me. In the end I beat his dad. He and I had a great opportunity as parents to teach all the kids a lesson; sportsmanship. We exchanged the good games and talked about the game a bit and his son played with us a bit more. The light hearted smack talk continued and in the end my son’s favorite line to the kid was “dude my mom beat your dad in Halo”. They laughed. We still laugh about it.

With the release of Halo2 the gaming together continued for years with my son and his friends. We ventured into Match Making together and found a good group of friends to game with. I would hear some of his online friend’s stories about school, getting their drivers license, how they did on tests and some of his friends that were in college and how they were doing; a great group of friends and people in general.

I then found a website for older gamers that not only let me enjoy my gaming with my son but other gamers that had similar life experiences; 2old2play.com. The site offered me a choice from over 9000 gamers to play with that share a lot of what I share. Many are married, some are single. They have homes, cars, jobs and stress. Sometimes we talk about our kids, some ask for advice and insight or help; but we all share our lives and love of video games. Many of us have met face-to-face. We get together and play. We all relieve our stresses together. Many of us have children that we game with; the majority in fact. It is a safe haven for gaming adults. I have made real-life friends that share what I love.

Present day; my son has moved onto PC gaming while I remain a console gamer. He still picks up the Xbox 360 controller every once in a while and still games with me when new maps come out for Halo2 and still enjoys playing some of the other games with his friends every once in a while. I am still a die hard Halo fan and play every night with my friends and am involved with 2old2play.com doing whatever I can to help. Even though I don’t play PC games I understand what my son does and still share in the joy when he reaches a goal. A couple of months ago I found myself dropping everything to watch my son play Shadow of the Colossus on his PS2. It was a beautiful game to watch, the creativity and game play; I sat in awe. My son even appreciated the artistry involved in creating this game. I watched almost every minute that he played and we talked about the features in the game. Gaming has brought a new level of closeness between him and me.

Now that you’ve read my tale of our gaming experience you may ask, “What is the impact of being a gaming parent?” Look closely at the text that I’ve bolded; these experiences are the impact. We as adults are the purchasers of these games for our kids and ourselves. We are the leading buyers in the industry. At some point as parents we can choose to let video gaming be another wall between our kids and ourselves or we can pick up a controller or put our hands on a keyboard and become part of our children’s lives. In the time of technology our kids will game in some way. Parents have the opportunity to venture into the world of technology with their kids or stand on the side lines.

I challenge any politician to read this story and tell me that video games are bad for MY son. In fact the opposite is true. What you find in this short story of our lives is an experience of togetherness, love, understanding, friendship and sharing. One simple thing, gaming, it is what makes us closer. For some families it’s sports or music; for my little family it’s video games. In fact this is only a small sample of why video games are good for our family and others like us. Go ahead, tell me that all of these great things are bad for my son. Then I will ask you what you do with your children that leads to a better understanding of them, sharing with them, talking with them, that allows them to open up to you, that impacts their lives. I control what my son sees, plays and hears. I have taught my son lessons through video games and made myself available to him to open up and communicate. I control what video games my son buys. I share in my son’s life and love of video games.

I am an impact on my son’s life because I am a gaming parent.