Snuphy
Name: Snuphy
Joined On: Oct 02, 2008
Maintag: Snuphylupagus
Age: 42
Occupation: Sot
Location: Central PA
Currently: Offline
Last seen: 3/15/10
710 Member Points
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Snuphylupagus
Snuphylupagus
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03/04/10
I Puked, Discovered Skunks
The gastrointestinal bug finally completed its journey thru my family and bit me hard. Spent all yesterday in bed. Been much happier on the couch today feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. After a couple hours of Tom and Jerry, my oldest pukester requested programming that was “animal” related. The only thing I could find was a PBS Nature show titled Is That Skunk? It was both entertaining and informative. And I know have a better understanding of a skunks stanky stankifying equipment. They have two nipples they stick out of their puckers. Once stuck out, they can aim the things, like the little air vents over an airplane seat. They can also control the flow of the bright yellow emission which means if they have a definitive target, the send a hard stream to the face, or in a “HOLY SHIT, GET ME OUT OF HERE” scenario, they can pinch out a fine spray and fill the air with mist. I’m quite certain spurting nipples protruding from an animals asshole was not video footage I needed to see close up in HD. But if you feel the need, feel free:
www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/episodes/is-that-skunk/video-full-episode/4581/
Posted by Snuphy @ 5:39 pm EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments
03/01/10
I Ate Pie
I updated my age yesterday. Had a huge celebratory weekend planned starting with a lan party, ending with crab cakes, with plenty of "adult" time in between. The lan went off pretty well, but was slightly marred by our 3 year old who decided to repeatedly regurgitate blue berries, grilled bell peppers, and a hot dog just after she was deposited in her bed. Her resulting fever prompted the cancellation of babysitting services Saturday, which also meant missing the Troeg's Brewery tour. Her questionable health and ornery disposition Sunday led to another babysitting cancellation, so the elaborate rope system my wife had hanging from the dining room chandelier and the attached baggie labeled Lynn's Lair of Leather were sadly hidden away unused. The crab cakes were delicious, that was until our 5 and 9 year olds were tucked into their beds, and promptly began vomiting. My 9 YO says crab cakes are pretty nasty on the rebound, but apple pie is still pretty sweet. The weekend turned out a mixture of fun and fuckupedness. No worries tho. The fuckupedness was all part of being a parent. I still had bunches of fun. It sounds like all the missed festivities will be rescheduled bit by bit. So instead of having everything crammed into a weekend, it will end up being spread out over a series of weeks. I like that idea.
Olympics are over. I really enjoy the variety of rarely televised sports. But after a full two weeks, I'm happy to see them go. It's past time I get reacquainted with my 360. It's time to blow some shit up.
Posted by Snuphy @ 7:55 pm EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments
02/17/10
Olympic Agony
An excerpt from last night's Olympics:
9 Year Old Snuphette: "I sure hope they don't show any more of that darn loogie instead of skating"
Me: "You mean luge"
9 YO: "Yeah, luge. That is so boring. They just lay there and do nothing."
Me: "Yup. Moving at 90 mph on their butts does look pretty dull. Near death experiences are like that."
Mrs. Snuphy: "Not another commercial!! Holy cow! This is ridiculous"
Johnny Weir comes out on the ice. I gag on a mouthful of beer, put down my book and say, "Wow. The pink laces on his corset match his tassel."
9 YO: "Is this the Canadian skater?"
Mrs: "No. He was two skaters ago I think. He did pretty well. I liked him. This guy is American"
9 YO: "Oh. What is that pink, floppy thing on his shoulder?"
Me, to myself: Please don't let her say penis.
Mrs: "Oh my gosh!! That is a pink tassel."
9 YO: "What is a tassel?"
Mrs: "It's like a pony tail made out of strings. Women put them on their boobs then swing them around in circles."
Me: Gag on mouthful of beer, then "OR they are used as a decoration on the HAT you will wear WHEN YOU GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL, or maybe even COLLEGE!!"
9 YO: "Really Mommy? How do you swing them around in circles?"
Mrs: "Dunno. I never figured out how to do it." Uh huh. Then she tried a diversion. "I love how long and lean he is. It makes his arm movements very graceful. He's a beautiful skater."
9 YO: "He hasn't fallen yet. I bet he gets a pretty good score."
Mrs: "Oh my GOSH!! He is wearing a corset! With pink laces no less!"
9 YO: "Mommy, what's a corset?"
Mrs: "It's a thing that women wear sometimes to squeeze their middles to push their boobs up. Makes them look bigger and bustier."
9 YO: "Oh. And that helps make the tassels go around in circles?"
Me: Gag on mouthful of beer . . . . .
Mrs: "Dunno. Oh my, that was an excellent triple axel . . . . . . ."
I am extremely happy my 3 YO and 5 YO were in bed sleeping when this transpired. At some point the 5 YO would have put the above conversation into real world context. I would have come home from work one evening to find her swinging simulated tassels from her chest, her little sister somewhere nearby mimicking the activity. It's this sort of thing that makes my beard turn (more) gray.
I don't know how much more Olympics I can take.
Posted by Snuphy @ 5:19 pm EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments
02/16/10
Illness Has Struck
A terrible illness has afflicted my family. It’s hit my wife and all three of my daughters. It’s been keeping us up late at night. And even worse, it’s been preventing me from gaming. This terrible sickness has a name. It’s called figure skating.
I survived the pairs programs. Men’s short program tonight. Men’s long program tomorrow night. Women’s yet to come. Ice dancing. Who knows what else.
I can’t complain. I have the freedom to monopolize the big screen tv for gaming on a regular basis. I normally relent willingly and happily. But holy crap do I have a strong urge to turn on my xbox and kill things. I’m not thinking guns and explosives a la MW2 or BFBC2 will do it either. I’m thinking of hiding in a corner and swinging a frying pan, over and over again. Bong! Bong! Bong! That might make me feel more at ease.
Meanwhile, please pray for me. Or send alcohol, or stiffy pills. Maybe, just maybe, if I could get hard during the men’s long program I’d have a chance to lure the Missus away from the tele and gain a bit of my composure back. Maybe.
Posted by Snuphy @ 8:51 pm EDT | Permalink | 5 Comments
02/12/10
Beer Club Round 4
We were supposed to have beer in time for the superbowl. But out of 24 choices, our beer store could only get 13. That's a sign that club members are trying to pick new and interesting beers, not just the same old stuff we usually see. It's also a sign of how screwed up PA is with beer, wine and booze. I picked two beers from Deschutes, the 6th largest craft brewery in the US. IIf I lived closer to Philly or Pittsburg, no problem. Here in central PA, problem. No Deschutes for me.

Posted by Snuphy @ 5:45 pm EDT | Permalink | 1 Comments
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