Let Sanity Reign!

When I was wandering in the desert
I was searching for the truth
I heard a choir of angels calling out my name
I had the feeling that my life would never be the same again
I turned my face towards the barren sun

So I picked my son up this weekend for the first time since I was re-injured by my ex in that debacle last month.  That made 26 days since I had seen him, for those of you keeping score at home.  And yes, that sucks.  A lot.  As luck would have it my back had been flaring up the last half of last week (probably from the weather) though it had been slowly improving overall to that point.  To the point, the 7 hour round trip was pretty rough, particularly since I had decided to pass on the Norco throughout the day to make the trip a bit safer when I left work last Friday.  Also, I had emailed my ex earlier in the week to let her know I would be picking our son up that weekend and specified to her that she could pick him up that Sunday (at 4!!) at a restaurant less than 2 blocks up the street from me, being that she wasn't allowed to go to my residence anymore.

I received no response so Thursday I called my son from work (still no phone here) and asked if he knew if his mom had received the email.  He said she read it and she told him that I wasn't allowed to pick him up at her house.  I assured him that I was, barring some kind of legal document I was unaware of.  Quick side note here: when I pick him up, I'm not one of these people that insist on coming in...I'm content to give a couple taps on the horn to let him know I'm there and then cut out.  On occassion I've asked to use the bathroom, but never have I disrespected her by forcing my way into her home.  So his response was that she told him the OP I had stated we couldn't be within X feet of each other.  Again, I assured him that wasn't the case but I suggested he keep an eye out for me beginning at a certain time so we could avoid any potential problems.  He interjected that because she told him that, he had already come up with a plan.  Some of his friends are old enough to drive, so he would go to the mall with them and I could just meet him there.  Smart kid, and you can't blame him for not wanting any more problems.  So I told him that sounded great and we planned accordingly.

So I pick him up at the mall, and as we're walking out to the car he tells me his mom is going ahead with that plan to go to our old meeting place in order to (in her mind) get me in trouble and allow her to call the police on me.  Unbelievable, will it ever end?  So I told him that the papers said nothing about that location, just the day and time.  I had told him this before.  He said he tried telling her this but she wouldn't listen.  I suppose thats a good thing that my son believes me (and trusts me) to the point where he'll argue a point on my behalf just because I told him it was true.  On the other hand, I hate him getting involved in this.  Then he tells me the reason she says she's doing this is because the OP says she can't even go into Woodridge, let alone to my residence.

<sigh>

Now I'm not particularly proud of this next part but I felt it was necessary.  We had just picked up some burgers at McD's so I pulled over in the parking lot and pulled out both the mediation paperwork and the OP.  There were no lurid details exposed to him, but I wanted him to see exactly what it was the agreements and orders stipulated, and to know that I was abiding by them 100%, and just so he had a better idea of what was right and what wasn't in this case.  Basically I showed him that the papers said Sundays at 4pm during the school year and that the OP had no mention of distances or even towns.  So now I had the spectre of more potential bullshit at the tail end of a weekend I had been looking forward to for awhile.  My fear was that she was going to try and actually pull this off, wind up pissing off the cops because of it, and go back to the slammer.  That would leave Billy up here with school the next day, and thats no good for him.

Happily though, she called him on his cell today about noon and asked him to ask me if it was ok if she picked him up on this little cul de sac on the next street instead of at the restaurant.  I'm guessing because it had an easier exit point with traffic there, I dunno.  But anyway I saw no huge reason why she shouldn't be able to do that instead (aside from me preferring to do this around a lot of people for safety) so I told him sure.  So I walked him over there a bit ago, we left here at 3:50 and enjoyed the autumn weather in our brief walk down the street.  She showed up, he got in, and that was that.  No angst, no drama, no cops.  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!

And I know of the pain that you feel the same as me
And I dream of the rain as it falls upon the leaves
And the cracks in our lives like the cracks upon the ground
They are sealed and are now washed away

Speaking of my back, my doctor finally called me for the first time since I had the MRI and confirmed I had a disc herniation at L5/S1.  He wants to do a series of 3 epidurals.  I passed for the time being.  I mentioned that albeit the process was slow, recovery was underway.  I asked if he thought it possible to achieve our goal of recovery by continuing the conservative treatment of rest and meds, and he said yes.  He also told me the epidurals probably had no more than a 20% chance of helping, but he felt that was chance enough to make it worth it.  I told him I would re-evaluate how I felt in 2 weeks and get back to him.

Overall its gotten slowly better, but as mentioned the last half of last week was rough.  The week started off limp-free but as the week wore on I began to tighten up and limp/hobble a bit.  Most likely its just the change in weather.  I'm still remaining positive though.

You tell me we can start the rain
You tell me that we all can change
You tell me we can find something to wash the tears away...

And speaking of phones, my boss told me last Monday he finally ordered my work cell.  So here's hoping that pans out, because thats what I've been holding out for all along.  Kinda cheap on my part, I know, but oh well.  And honestly its not cheapness so much as brokeness, but rumor has it I may be getting 2 raises in the next 5-6 months (hoping one is a promotion raise) and then my normal yearly raise in March.  Man, that would help SO much...

You tell me we can start the rain
You tell me that we all can change
You tell me we can find something to wash the tears away...

And finally, I would like to take a moment and whine a little more about Guitar Hero 3.  I know I've probably cried more than most would care on the boards, but here goes:

I give the game a 5/10.  Neversoft sucks.  I know a lot of you are REALLY good at this game and dive right into the harder modes, but I think the first 2 difficulty levels are where they really screwed the pooch.  The way they place the notes is ridiculous, and the setlists are overall putrid.  Yes, putrid.  For every Maiden, Metallica, Sabbath song on there, you can count probably 3 songs you've never heard by bands you've never heard of.  Thats what the extras section is for, folks.  I LOVED GH2 even though I'm not that good at it, and had A BLAST playing co-op with my son...even though I was using a controller most of the time.  The songs were good, they were fun, and time flew by.  In GH3, notsomuch...its literally a chore to play through many of those setlists, and the difficulty is so skewed it just adds to the frustration.

Ok thats it for now, thanks for reading.  And treat yourself to a cookie if you know the song those lyrics belong to. 

A question for the ages

"What am I doing wrong?"

Here's a little story from my court trip yesterday.  I went up first (since I checked in first) and had to wait for a bit for the judge to sign off on the order.  So I'm sitting there listening to some true horror stories (no joking) from some poor women who are being terrorized by guys.  On a side note, there's the whole "here's this 6'4, 340 pound guy getting a restraining order against a tiny woman" and being the only guy there seeking protection thing that doesn't help the ego much.

Ok, so anyway the one woman is getting an order because this guy is hanging out back her house, off her property but close enough that he can draw attention to himself so she knows he's there.  Sick.  Then the cake-taker was this pretty little blonde girl who was on crutches.  She goes before the judge and tells him about an ex thats stalking her.  She said she was getting voice mails and text messages from him telling her he knows exactly where she is and describing what she's wearing to prove it.  Thats just fucked up.  So the judge of course grants her an order and she has a seat while he hears some more cases.

So a few minutes later this mess of a fellow walks in.  He was probably 5'8 tops and had to weigh as much as I did.  He had the gangbanger wardrobe going, complete with the shaved head and pants halfway down around his ass (he was holding his belt in his hands which might explain that).  He goes and talks to one of the attorneys and then he goes in front of the judge...and the little blonde on crutches goes back up.  THAT WAS HER FRIGGING EX!

Now after they were done I looked back and took another look at her.  She was very pretty, but she was also doing her best not to completely break down at that point.  Apparently just being anywhere near this guy, even in a place as safe as we were in, was too much for her.  It broke my heart a little, to be honest...nobody should ever go through anything like that.  She was looking at him and then she looked over at me and I could see her eyes were swelling up and she looked to be breathing kind of quickly.  Very sad.

But now to my question: what the hell am I doing wrong?  I briefly flirted with the idea of asking for her number (not the best place, I know, and not really...but there's a point in there) since she obviously didn't care about looks.  She couldn't have.  And as those of you who have met me can vouch, my chick-magnet days are well behind me, but if given the choice between me and this guy (with death NOT being an option) I can't see how I would come out on the short end of the stick.  Plus there's the whole "I'm not a psycho stalker" thing I have working for me.

So what gives?  I've seen guys my size and not very attractive with some really fine women.  Of course in many cases the guys are driving really expensive vehicles so I'd have to guess there's a touch of shallowness in there.  But still, what the fuck?  How is it that I've got nothing going and haven't had anything going for awhile?

Life is funny sometimes.  Well ok, its funny a lot.  And it certainly doesn't make sense very often.

Small victories

I suppose I should start off with an update on the back.  Its still messed up of course, but I'm getting around a bit better as long as I keep medded up.  The Lyrica is helping some, its not as potent as the oxycontin but I can concentrate a lot better and I'm more myself lately, which is good.  I had an MRI on the 19th and dropped the images off at my doc's this past Monday evening.  He was supposed to call me but didn't, and of course he's on vacation now.  His assistant told me he took a quick look at them and said he was thinking about a series of epidurals.  I don't think I want to do that.  Not a big fan of things stuck into my spine.

The order of protection against my exwife expired yesterday, so I went to court bright and early and had it renewed.  The judge gave me the option of renewing it for as long as I wanted up to 2 years, so I went for the max.  He granted it, so its good until October 23, 2009 at 5pm.  Then I stopped off at the Clerk's office to get copies of my divorce and mediation paperwork so I could give them to that lawyer thats going to help me out with getting makeup visitation.  Ran into a little snag, though.

I forced my ex into mediation back in June of 2000.  If you think I've had problems lately, you should have seen how bad it was before we went to mediation.  So we both spent several thousands of dollars on the mediator.  The paperwork for it was one of the things I requested, as I mentioned.  So I pay for the copies and I'm leaving the Clerk offices (DuPage county Clerk's office is phenomenal to behold, its really something and very efficient) and as I'm walking out I begin leafing through the paperwork looking for the mediation agreement, since thats the current paperwork thats binding in this case.  Problem was, I didn't see it in there.  So I go back to the girl and politely point out that I didn't have all the paperwork I needed.  So she goes back into the computer and lo and behold...nothing.  The lawyer we went to for mediation never entered the paperwork into the court.  Um...hello?  You cashed our checks though, didn't you?  So thats a big problem.  But as it turned out I went through some old emails in my personal account and discovered this lawyer had emailed me the agreement in Word format, so I had it.

So I call this lawyer up and tell him everything that went on.  He was amazed that my ex didn't show for the hearing that morning, since now she has an OP against her for 2 years and she didn't bother to contest it.  Secondly, he wasn't thrilled about this other lawyer's negligence.  I told him I did have a copy though, but as he pointed out...its worthless since its never been entered into the court.  I don't even know if it can be entered any more, since its been almost 7 1/2 years since it was drawn up.  But anyway Im going to see him Tuesday morning before work and we're going to see what we can do about some things, so thats good.

But now my search begins for this lawyer who did the mediation.  Her name and office number was on the paperwork, but the phone number is no good and the email address I had for her back in 2000 is no good either.  I checked online and found a record of her still being in Oak Brook so I need to find her.  I want my money back, and I'm not even kidding there.  I'm considering looking into whether or not I can sue her.

If any lawyers here might know of a directory that I can use to find her, please PM me.  Otherwise I'm going to be checking the internet all weekend for a clue.

So anyway, as the subject of this blog says...small victories.  Things are beginning to improve overall and I'm hopeful that many things will get resolved in the next week or so.

And by the way

New blog theme. Since I'm an Iron Maiden fan, why not eh?

The background is the sleeve art from the single "Wasted Years" off the album Somewhere in Time from back in 1986. Its a great song, one of their best, from when they first began experimenting with synth effects. Its got some really great lyrics that bring you down to earth and make you think. I highly recommend hitting up the Limewire for a copy of the song if you've never heard it before, or just follow the linkee below and check out the video. I hope you get the same enjoyment from it I do! Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwB9zg7Tbx8

<btw, if you look really closely you can see the TARDIS off in the background ;) >

And the beat goes on...

So I get the order of protection granted against my exwife.  Here I am, 6'4 340 pounds getting a restraining order against a woman a foot shorter and 120 pounds lighter than me.  Such is life, I guess thats what happens when one party is passive and the other is aggressive and violent.

They tell me the order is good for 3 weeks then I have to go back to court to renew it, and I can renew it for up to 2 years.  I was thinking...well, perhaps an overnight in the county lockup gave her a new perspective on things.  I mean, if it were me I'd be pissed, sure...but I would also re-examine things and get my act together.  So I began to think perhaps this would be a lesson learned for her and I would just no-show the court date, let it lapse and move on.

So a few nights ago I get an email from my son telling me...hey, I'm listening to my mom on the phone right now and she's got some tricks up her sleeve to get back at you, just wanted to give you a headsup so you could figure out what to do.  Without going into boring details about what she was planning to do, it suddenly occured to me that she hadn't learned a fucking thing out of this.  So I'll be headed to court later this month to extend the EOP.  Basically what it says is that she cannot come near my place of residence or work and is limited to phone and email contact with me only, and so long as its civil.  If she gets aggressive again all I do is call the cops and she goes back to County.

Now in the meantime my back is still jacked.  I went to my doc tonight (had an impromptu appointment scheduled after the assault) and he wants an MRI done now since my left leg is numb and experiencing other signs of nerve irritation, and the right leg - which was the problem to begin with - has gotten worse.  A lot worse.  As I'm typing this it feels like my cat is nuzzling my leg, except she's not.  Thats the nerves in the spine being pinched.

I also have an appointment with a lawyer Wednesday night to help me out with some matters here regarding visitation.  He was referred to me by the Family Advocate people at the courthouse, and happily for me he does charity work for income-challenged people such as me.  So I go see him Wednesday and hopefully we can get some things worked out regarding the makeup weekends my ex has been refusing me and something about the fact that now that she assaulted me and injured me leaving me unable to make the trip to get our son.

I'm also on a new med now.  I'm still taking the Norco to get through the days, and instead of the oxycontin in the mornings and at night I'm taking Lyrica.  Problem is the Lyrica isn't working very well.  Either that or right now things are so bad with the back that nothing will help much...hard to tell either way.  I had to get off the oxycontin though, cause it was fucking me up in a big way.  Retrogirl was good enough to find some info on it that I had missed that said a side effect was extreme mood disorder, which I can tell you now is very true and not very fun to go through.  Plus I felt like I was fighting my way through a fog every time I tried to concentrate.  Anyway, I'm just trying to cope in general with the pain of the back and all the other bullshit.  Not really any different than any of you of course, we all have our problems we have to fight our way through.  I just tend to be more whiney than most.