Fuck you, Uncle Sam

Pink is pissed. In fact, Pink isn't pink. I'm more a shade of Fire Engine Red. You see, I received a letter from the Federal Government yesterday. The letter was to inform me that I will be receiving a letter from the Federal Government next week.

I'm all a twitter with anticipation. NOT!

Every household in the country received this letter telling them that next week they would receive their census form in the mail. Only the Federal Government would piss away money sending a letter to inform you that you will be getting a letter. There are an estimated 114,825,428 households in the U.S. I'm guessing the the feds can get a bulk mailing rate, and can buy the paper and envelopes in bulk, and the cheapest rate I found on the USPS site was 6.7 cents per piece (although I have no idea if this is the correct rate for government mailings), so in round numbers, the Feds just spent $10 million packing a landfill. Of course, that doesn't include any of the labor for designing this literary masterpiece, getting the 6 or 7 levels of approvals, printing costs at a u-n-i-o-n shop, and general government fucking around. I'm guessing the whole thing cost $30 million, and that is just to tell you that you will be getting a letter from the Federal Government.

Add in the costs of those stupid "I want to take a picture of the whole country" TV ads, the newspaper and magazine ads (including a $5.1 million advertising package during the 2010 Winter Olympics), web site development, 140.4 million for the January 2010 budget allocation alone.

"A major focus of the increased advertising and other promotional activities will be in minority communities and other areas that have historically lower-than-average initial response rates. Most of this funding ($258.7 million) will be used to support additional paid media, including local ad buys focused on hard-to-count populations. The remaining funds ($53.4 million) will be directed to partnership support, public relations, and the “Census in Schools” program."

Damn, already up to $312.1 million with part devoted to getting the schools to have our kids harass us.

And why? Because the feds are in a panic that if they don't educate us, only wealthy white folks will fill out the census. And that would make it harder to spend more Federal dollars on "community" programs targeted at underrepresented groups and it would make gerrymandering of legislative districts a bitch. And you know what? I'm cool with that.

Because you know who is the underrepresented minority in this country? The educated, involved, informed American voter.

Here's my example...Arab-Americans are pissed that, decades ago, they won a battle to be counted as "white" on the census forms. Yup, they wanted to be white and viewed it as a victory for inclusion. Now, while reading the latest Newsweek, I found an article by an activist group that is campaigning to get Arab-Americans to mark "Other" and write in "Arab" under race. They don't want to be white any more. Is it because they want to rally around their cultural uniqueness? Not even. The man specifically states that this is being done so that Arab-Americans can "get their share" of Federal dollars.

"Get their share". Get their fucking share. I'm a minority, give me money. We have become a country where we reward failure (especially if it involves a u-n-i-o-n like GM), and punish success (because those successful bastards might get rich). Do I have a bug up my ass? You're damn right I do. Try fighting through the court system as a white male Dad who was falsely accused of spousal and child abuse. And note all you Joe Biden liberal's that believe white males are evil abusive bastards especially during a recession, my kids now live with me (by their choice), and have no contact with their mother (by her choice). Could it be that maybe your world view is just a little bit FUCKED UP? But I digress...

The lesson yet again is that, until the populace gets pissed off and vocal, the feds are going to spend money, your money, in an infinite number of stupid ways with Vogon efficiency. They are offering us their flavor of health care that, I shit you not, they claim will cost us nothing. Budget neutral. Seriously, they hired the accountants from Enron to prove it. The government is in the process of nationalizing the student loan industry and making Pell Grants an unlimited entitlement. And through an Executive Order being drafted as we speak, the feds are going to start steering government contracts to companies that meet the governments wage and benefit requirements, or as they call it, "to give contracts to 'responsible contractors' who pay workers well and offer higher health, pension, sick leave and other benefits." And before you bitch at me about how this is necessary because companies abuse workers, answer this...when you bought your Xbox, did you pay more for it so that you could support a socially responsible retailer, or did you look for the cheapest price? And why should the government be any different? After all, they pay for education, subsidize loans, pay for college degrees and job retraining...is it my fault that you don't take advantage of it and instead let your kids fuck off and become former McDonald's employees that decide to breed like rabbits?

We are out of money people. Yet our government is growing and spending like there is no tomorrow. Well, I guess that part is true. We can't pay off our obligations now so why not party like it's 1999. And fuck the "Bush ran up the debt" crap. That doesn't justify Obama running the largest deficits since WWII. And Bush never ran a deficit over $500 million even with Washington's bullshit accounting games, where Obama is already over a trillion. And please, figure out the difference between the National Debt (~12.6 trillion), the U.S. outstanding obligations (about $60 trillion) , and the annual deficit (currently approaching $1.6 Trillion).

See what getting a piece of paper in the mail does to me? Actually it was more like the straw that broke the camels back. Weeks of listening to the lies coming from Washington and seeing the back door deals they want to slip into the reconciliation bill (where they won't be noticed because all the attention will be on the health care part of the bill) is more than I can take. But the voters are stupid and actually want something for nothing. These are the same people who don't read loan documents and treat their houses as credit cards.

*Pink*

Respect Haitians

I had another WTF moment this week.  Actually, a good week is when I have less then one WTF moment a day.  Of course, that rate can be reduced considerably by simply turning off the TV or the radio.  There is so much stupidity.

This week I learned from NPR that studying the Haitian language has become quite popular on college campuses.  I was somewhat surprised at how quickly this happened, but apparently students, faculty, and people off the street are flooding to these classes; some are taking them for a grade, some are just wanting to learn.  And I'm not talking about learning French, the official language of Haiti.  That would actually have some use beyond the fad.  I'm talking about Haitian Creole, a language spoken by the majority of Haitians but only spoken in Haiti. 

This makes sense for someone who is planning on spending some number of years working in Haiti.  But the popularity of the language is simply a fad.  I doubt knowing the language would help even when ordering off the menu in a Louisiana restaurant.   

But that's not the WTF part.  Nor are my questions about the fundamental waste of taxpayer dollars by offering useless courses like this at a State-subsidized University.  My consternation goes much deeper.  In typical NPR style, they interviewed a number of people involved in providing and receiving this education.  And nearly all that were selected to air talked about learning to "respect Haitians".  WTF?

Have we slid so far into the diversity/PC hole that we no longer expect someone to actually DO something to distinguish themselves?  Do they simply need to be born?  Of course, these questions are purely rhetorical.  Respect is no longer something earned.  It is "awarded" based on characteristics completely outside individual control, such as genetics or the geography of birth.

So I asked, what has "Haiti" done to earn my respect?  After all, if I am to respect "Haitians" I need to look at the lump of rock that gives them their name.  And I found it is a largely unremarkable rock, larger than some but smaller than others, and it has been turned into a dirty mess.  Native flora have been replaced by subsistence farms, resources exploited and mismanaged.  But the rock didn't do that.  It just sat there and let it happen.  I guess I can respect it's patience and self control.  Although perhaps the recent earthquake was a temper tantrum.

So I looked up the "Haitians" that were notable.  Wyclef Jean is in the list.  No respect there.  And Jessica Lucas of Melrose Place fame.  Ironically when I clicked on her link it says she was born in Canada.  It can't be good when a Haitian would prefer to be a Canadian (love you too J-Cat!).  Papa Doc and Baby Doc are there.  No no no, that will not do.  There is also a "notable surgery patient" on the list whose contribution was to lay still while surgeons removed a 16 pound growth from her face.  But that isn't notable because she was assisted by drugs.  If you want to get respect for lying still it needs to be drug free.  Oh, and there is a passenger from the Titanic.  And she survived.  Cool.  I can respect that.

OK...I'm sure there are a lot of good people on the list who worked hard and had a good life.  There are at least enough people to make a half-assed NFL team.  And oh, do I know people are going to bitch at me for this blog.  But I just don't respect people for what or who they ARE.  I don't care what color or race or sexual orientation they might be, or merely that they happen to exist.  None of those things garner my "respect".  I respect people for what they DO.  What they CONTRIBUTE.  What they GIVE of themselves.  What they SACRIFICE (and not in the voodoo sense).  I don't respect the victim du jour even when NPR tells me to. 

Pink is guilt free.  And never politically correct.

*Pink* 
 

Past Apologies

Weird shit happens to me. In the past 10 years I have been tracked down by two ex-girlfriends.

Not surprisingly, both were pissed.

We will start this bizarre tale with my first "girlfriend". We were "together" from age 6 to 11. Yup, we were 11 the last time we saw each other, but apparently when you kiss someone in kindergarten, it's a life long commitment. Who knew? She tracked me down when I was 42. Now, I suck at math but that seems a whole lot like 31 years later. You would think I would be long forgotten. She was. But apparently she never understood why we broke up and it damaged her so badly that she never dated again until college. And then married the first guy she met. And she blames me. Now she has 2 successful kids, a successful husband (still the same guy from college), one grandchild, and a successful business. But apparently I ruined her life. As an 11 year old. So she found me. And bitched. And now I get Xmas cards from her.

Come on Ladies, with shit like this can you really expect men to "understand" women?

A few months back another ex-girlfriend tracked me down. We met my senior year of high school. I was drunk. She was crying. Apparently I played Knight in slightly tarnished beer can aluminum armor. We sort of dated for about 18 months. I say "sort of" because she lived about 3 hours away and I usually only saw her when she came in town every couple months to visit friends of hers. I recall that it was not a good time in my life, a lot of conflict with my parents, and apparently I didn't treat her well. One example she brought up was when she wanted to visit over Xmas break. I was house sitting an apartment for a friend and she wanted to stay with me. I told her I couldn't afford extra food so she would have to pitch in. It was true. I had a tuition payment coming up in a couple weeks and I was trying to put myself through college. But apparently that hurt her. And (clearly) she wasn't a big priority for me. I guess I didn't see the point of having her hang around (Hey, I've never claimed to be a great guy). I think we continued to see each other on and off for about 3 or 4 months longer. I'm not certain. I do know that I broke up with her when I met my now ex-wife. So I was at most 19 the last time I saw her. Oh, and she says my mother called her a whore at some point. That doesn't really sound like my mom, but it could have happened. After all, the only times mom saw us together the girl had her shirt off. So anyway, 30 years later, she tracks me down (thanks Internet) and she says she needs to "resolve" a number of issues in her life. She is married, adopted a couple kids, seems to be with a good guy. But she wants to bitch at me.

And so she bitched, and I let her. I'm always a little curious about psychology and getting in people's heads. I wasn't nice. Did I mention she was bitching? I answered her questions, didn't give her any encouragement, and ended the call. So I thought it was over. I told DA. No biggie. About a month or so later she called again. This time she bitched because I wasn't very nice when she called previously. You would think by now she would see a pattern. I reminded her that when confronted by an attack dog I tend to put my defenses up. Apparently her husband had sympathized with me as he had also pointed out to her that she bitched at me. And so she apologized. Sweet irony. But I kept asking her what she wanted as I didn't see anything I was going to give her.

DA was bothered not because an ex-girlfriend contacted me, but because I wasn't very nice to this woman on the phone. Come on...she is bitching at me...and I'm asking what she wants from me. 30 years, remember? It doesn't add up. But once I explained to DA our ages at the time and the nature of the past relationship, she understood that there is something wrong with this picture. It's not my job to make an ancient ex-girlfriend feel good about her life. Or to help her through various conflicts and trials. I do that for family, but she isn't even a friend, although she says she wants a friendship. Friendship. Right.

That was early December. She called in January. I was pretty busy so I ignored it. She called again the next day and this time left a message saying she needed to talk to me, her father had died, and she didn't understand why I didn't return her call. My parents are at that age where they could pass at any time, and so I felt bad. I called her back. Only to find out that her father had a terminal illness, was supposed to die nearly a year ago, and finally expired about three weeks earlier. Three weeks. But now she "needed" me. My sympathy quickly changed to defensiveness, and I was back to asking what she wanted from me. She says nothing. I say bullshit.

I told her I don't see the "friendship" thing happening 1) because I don't have time to develop a long distance relationship with someone who I really have little in common with to begin with, and 2) with the obvious sexual tension I don't think it is a good idea for us to get together. That last part floored her. She denied any desire for a sexual relationship, but the fact is that was all we ever had, and as the woman jilted when I met my first wife (which she admits still bothers her) she has something to prove. She denies this too. I know better. I'm really not a guy that thinks all women want to get me in the sack. But we really only had a sexual relationship when we "dated". There isn't even an old friendship to build on. Her dad dies and she thinks of me? OK, three weeks later, but she still "needs" me so bad that she calls multiple times making it sound like a crisis? Next time she calls I think I'm just going to blurt out "So when do we get together and fuck?" Of course, I'm not sure I want to hear the answer 'cuz it's kind of a "put up or shut up situation", and I'm not going to put up (or out).

Apparently I'm not unique as the need to resolve old wounds is gaining popularity.

"Jane Angelich carried the guilt around for more than four decades. Years ago, she had been cruel to someone and had never acknowledged her actions. Often, she thought of the person she had hurt and wondered: Had he ever forgiven her?"

"Finally, she decided she could carry her burden no longer. So last winter she went online and looked up the person she had mistreated. Then she apologized for telling him to "drop dead" when he called her house back in 1961.

They were both 10 years old at the time."

10 years old. Am I the only one who sees this as fucking ridiculous? Do you really think that you are so important that telling me to drop dead changed my life? And people say I have an ego. Do you know how many people have told me to drop dead? I don't. I only count those that actually try to kill me (yes, there are names on that list). You will need to try much, much harder to get on my radar.

And if crossing my path 30 or 40 years ago left a scar, you are mentally weak. I didn't kill your parents. Or your dog. Or key your 67 cherry red Mustang. Or even rip the head off your Barbie. I bought you a burger and a couple Tootsie Pops for dessert, and then drifted off chasing after girls who were more developed than you.

Amazingly, there are web sites now for these self-absorbed idiots who are still living in elementary school. Check out  thepublicapology.com and perfectapology.com. Don't get me wrong. I know that there are times in life that you need to apologize for a fuck up. But I was taught that a sincere "I'm sorry" said to someone's face, preferably temporally close to the event in question, is best. No explanations. No excuses. That fucks with the sincerity part. They either accept it or they don't. If they don't accept it, MOVE ON. And if someone offends and never offers an apology, same solution...MOVE ON.

I think it loses some of its meaning when you wait 30 years.

*Pink*

Thank You Charlie Wilson!

In one of life's twisted ironies, a teacher gave my son the assignment of watching "Charlie Wilson's War" and writing a report.  Charlie died Feb 10th.  We watched the movie last night.  This morning the Wall Street Journal had two editorials on Wilson.  And John Murtha, whom Wilson saved from Congressional ethics charges after Abscam, also died this week.  Perhaps that was Charlie's one great fuck-up, as you all know how I came to dislike Mr. Murtha. 

And we are now mired in Afghanistan, a mess created when the U.S. turned it's back on the Afghans after the Soviet withdrawal in 1989 (thank you Congress).  Our failure to invest a token amount of money rebuilding the Afghan nation created the conditions that lead to 1) the creation of the conditions that enabled the Taliban to rise from the ashes, and 2) lost us the close alliance of the Pakistani government (which has been further damaged by Obama's Afghan policy of wishy-washiness).  And we are getting ready to repeat the same mistake in Iraq with the "scheduled" withdrawal of troops.

After all, we are a "Christian" nation.  What the hell do we care about heathens? (figure it out people...could there be some sarcasm in my words?)

But it was fun to watch the movie with my son.  And to share with him some of what I did, small though it may be compared to the Afghans.  At least the war scenes depicting the brutality of the Soviets were accurate.  And he needs to know these things, because they are real (ironically, the other movie assigned was "Black Hawk Down", which we watched yesterday.  It's "clusterfuck week" at the Dastard house). 

I owe credit for a particularly interesting part of my life to former Congressman Charlie Wilson.  As some of you know, I was a Cold Warrior.  I'm very proud of that fact.  Too many ignorant pussies fail(ed) to realize just how dangerous the Soviet U-n-i-o-n was (is?).  And, thanks to Charlie Wilson and his funding for the CIA, I was directly involved in enabling the Mujahideen to "remove" many Soviet Hind helicopters from the skies above Afghanistan.  And that war in Afghanistan was a significant contributor to the collapse of the Soviet U-n-i-o-n.  To quote Martha Stewart, "It's a good thing".

I fought the Soviets on other fronts too.  Harassing, testing, snooping, and enabling us to get information that helped prepare our troops should we ever need to face them directly.  I met many incredible people (and some were Soviets!).  Contrary to what many may "wish" to believe, we do and always will have enemies.  Pretending we can change that is childish ignorance.  Unfortunately, I think childish ignorance has prevailed.  I last served in 2001, and it was particularly distasteful as many were more concerned with covering their asses and political maneuvering than with fighting and winning.

During my tenure I learned to respect many people that committed their lives, and some lost their lives, fighting those enemies.  But I will always have a soft spot for the Afghan's.  They did what no other people have ever done before.  They drove the highly trained and well equipped Soviet Army from their lands.   

Even the Afghan women have balls.

*Pink*