Taking things for granted

In life we take a lot of things for granted, some we regret and some we don't.

Just today I recieved a phone call from the family of one of my patients telling me that she had passed away yesterday.  While I know that everyone dies and its sad to those who care, I can't help but feel lost and that somehow its my fault.  Ms. "J" was a very mean and cold hearted person and after going through 15+ CNA's she finally got me.  Ive been with her for almost or right at 5 years now..We fought OHH we fought..she even hit me with her cane once.  But I tell ya I loved her just as much if not more than I "hated" her.  A few days before thanksgiving she went into a nursing home after her 3rd trip this year in the hospital..  It was only suposed to be for 20 days for rehab to help her regain some ballance and get walking again.  I came to see her only once to help her write checks to keep her electric on at home.  That was the last time I saw her.  Id like to pretend that I wasnt being selfish and that i was just way to busy to make time to see her, even thought I passed by the home several times since then.  But truth be told I didnt.  I got off work at 1pm and came home to sit my fat ass in front of the tv and play video games.  I made excuses as to why I didnt go see her.. I assumed that she would be comming home right before christmas and that her bills needed to be taken care of by her son not me while she was there... I should have known something was wrong when she hadn't called me by christmas.  Again I only thought about myself. 

I know this is personal and not really meant for the "gaming world" but were all human underneath our screen names.. we all have families and friends.  A lot of us get sucked into this alternate reality and forget what its like to live and love.  So my new years resolution is to stop playing so damn much and go visit my friends and my family.  Who truly knows how long you will be here and how much you will regret their loss when there gone because you were to selfish to spend time with them.  Even if you hate someone..be it your dad, your brother, sister mom ect ect.. a part of you will always feel a heavy loss when there gone.  Even if you cant stand them..let them know you will always love them and try to mend that broken connection.  I know that Ms. J wasnt family but my patients are like family and I was to damn selfish to go and spend time with her when she needed me the most.  I dont know if I can forgive myself.

I dont believe in God, heaven, hell.. But I pray that we dont just die , that we have somewhere to go where we can live on and let go.

Well....I am adopting her dog maybe... yes the dogs name is maybe.  She loved that dog so much and I told her if anything ever happend to her I would take care of maybe till she passed away.  So even though I never got to say goodbye to Ms. J I can at least fufill my promise to her.

Wow what a Zoo.. 3 cats and now 2 dogs.. OMG!!

Woudlnt be so bad if I lived in a house..

blah..

STOP TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED AND WAKE UP TO REALITY!

A night of debauchery

Yeah I know I cant spell..

The bf is gone till christmas day.. time to get drunk and throw down old school..

IE: get drunk, flirt with roomate, throw up, flirt some more, play MW2 all night till I pass out..

LOL

I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Operation Flashpoint

Only got to play if for a split second before my idiot took back over but I think im going to be good at this game.. first shot was a killshot from 500meters.. OH yeah  I was born to be a sniper..

IM WATCHING YOU

Prototype!!!

Do not believe bad reviews about Prototype! I admit I was iffy about it when I read the bad reviews on the game..
 But my idiot decided to purchase it anyway against my "better" judgement. I could not have been more wrong.
This game is the absolute shit. Good story line, lots to do..
I havent beaten it so I cant say that it ends good, but I bet it will.
Its like Prince of persia & Grandtheft auto had a baby and some how god of war found that baby.. whatever anyway and out came
Prototype!! I am not a huge video game fan but I must say that this is a must buy for those that enjoy lots of
 violence, driving tanks, helicopters...ect ect.. easy to use..for once..

Another day, another dollar

I am a bit at odds here and wanted to get some advice..

As some of you know I am CNA and I work with the elderly in their homes. My second patient has a 160lb Rotty who for no reason what so ever tried to attack her. Its bad enough that Brighten belongs to her son ( who is never home and leaves that huge ass dog there) but its scary. I have never seen Brighten act like that, he just sat behind the door and growled and when she got off of her potty chair he went for her. He didn't bite her but he lunged and snarled, showing his teeth, growling and barking. His tail wasn't wagging like usual when hes only trying to scare new people. I worry for her safety and for mine. I told her to call her son or animal control but she wouldn't listen. Thankfully brighten listened to me and went outside in the midst of his "attack" he has never not listened to me...guess thats a good things. But I'm at odds here with what to do because I now fear for her safety as well as my own should he turn on me. I've already been attacked by a dog once, luckily i still like them. Even recently got me a puppy. I'm considering quitting but it took me over a year to get her back to my company to work with her again, ( been with her for almost 4 years now) she is very mean and hard to staff and i seem to be the only one who can handle her and her BS. Shes like a grandmother to me and I don't want to abandon her.

Any thoughts? Specially if you are or know a Home health aide.

I could tell my boss but they don't care! When I call in sick I have to call her myself because my boss doesn't like getting yelled at..WTF...