Aslan

So….I was in the other room the other night, either watching TV or masturbating, and I heard a loud crash. I started going towards the noise and a few seconds later, my dog lets out loud howls of pain, ones I have never heard from him. I run over to him, he is on the ground motionless, his food ejected on the carpet, and he is laying in his own urine. After saying fuck a dozen times, he regains his senses after about 15 seconds…it was all the swearing. My thought is that he either had a stroke or was choking, and when he fell on the floor it dislodged his kibble. He is not slurring his bark nor has he been asked to do the New Year’s countdown next year…so hopefully it was not a stroke. He has been acting normal since. I called the vet, and he has an appointment today, only to come earlier if there is a change.

A little on the dog…Aslan, Golden Retriever, will be 14 in April, huge testicles, one of the most important things in my life, I take him to work with me almost everyday.

Hornets

A few weeks back, I discovered a hornet’s nest in a tree in my front mulch bed. I noticed it when I was weeding about 3-4 feet away from it (it is about 5 feet above the bed). After nearly soaking myself in my own urine, my first thought was…I need to find something to throw at it! A cooler head prevailed and I looked online and discovered they are the “Bald-faced Hornets”. They live in a hive of about 500-700 members, hunt other insect & critters and are only aggressive if their nest is threatened (obviously). They enter in through a hole on the side…maybe one day I’ll stick my finger in it. They abandon the nest in late fall/early winter and do not return…so no need for an exterminator. The nest is larger than a basketball and it’s quite a work of nature. If I had a decorating style where I hung dead things from my wall…it would fit right in. I am going to call some of the local nature preserves/county parks to see if it is something they want on display.  I have no idea why this is appearing as NSFW...I do not have the box checked.

The Streak

This will not be quite as exciting as me running naked through the Black Forest…but hey it’s a start. Last weekend my personal Ohio State football game attended streak reached 25. That includes home, away, and bowl games. I will go to every game this year and considering doing the same for next…who knows where it will end. I am only #2 on the streak list with my friends. My friend, Nick, is at about 130 consecutive…that’s over 10 years. That boy has issues.

Divorce FTW