May/December relationships gone bad

 

I did not set out to start blogging; I was just messing around when bored the other day. I am a solitary soul and I don't seek attention (Thanks for visiting my blog! Stay tuned for my upcoming podcast guest spot!!!) but sometimes attention seeks you.

It is not in my nature to call someone out, nor to publicly air my grievances, so for the sake of anonymity on the other parties part I will not publish their true identity. Nor will I say if my antagonist is male or female. But we need to call this person something, so let us just call her oFReaKo.

My relationship with oFReaKo began innocently enough. We met on bird watching expedition to the Arctic Circle. I was young. Impressionable. She was old. Real old. And experienced. The kind of

woman of the world with her own kneepads and a blowup mattress in her backpack.

My friends warned me, telling me to stay way but sparks just flew. I shot her. She shot me. I tea bagged her. She tried to tea bag me. I called her a bitch. She called me a bitch. Perfect. Now I know what you cynics are saying, that kind of fairy tale relationship only exists in sappy chick flicks. I am here to tell you that you are correct, sir!

Soon I caught her calling other people bitches. She would invite me to play Halo and then not even be there, the tease. Then I saw her with my own eyes tea bagging someone else. It was over. No more sweet messages. No more late night calls. I was through. I don't need a compass to tell me which way the wind blows, this bitch was trouble.

But oFReaKo continues to taunt me. To stalk me. To send me PM's and inviting me to Internet groups. She still tries to tea bag me and sometimes I let her, but truth be told I am faking it. I don't know what to do. We travel in the same circles and have the same friends. So help me people, how to I get this bitch off my back? If this keeps up she will ruin my long-term relationship with my life partner Freyn Ap Th... Uh, Bubba.

Posted by Markus @ 12:00 pm EDT | Permalink | 3 Comments